I am the walking embodiment of every truism about the oldest child of alcoholics/addicts. Also a poster child for over functioning behaviors around abuse.

Didn't get into therapy until my 50's unfortunately but it has been profoundly helpful.

Anonymous wrote:Now days most kids are growing up with parents who are addicted to pills instead, such as SSRIs, etc.

Don't know which is worse. Addicts are everywhere it seems.

WTF are you babbling about?

Definite get therapy for yourself if you haven’t already done so.

Also, I thought the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Patents was helpful.

My mom has been in AA for 12 years. She is still hard to deal with. We talk on the phone 1-2 times a week and see each other 1-2 times a year, but she is still emotionally immature sometimes.

My dad is not an alcoholic but has many narcissistic tendencies and won’t get therapy.

They are still married and behave inappropriately to each other (yell) probably every day.

I handle it by controlling what contact I have with them. I shut them down if they start complaining about each other. I know they love me but I’m aware of their manipulation tactics now. I’ve also had about a year of therapy that really helped me.

Anonymous wrote:Now days most kids are growing up with parents who are addicted to pills instead, such as SSRIs, etc.

Don't know which is worse. Addicts are everywhere it seems.

SSRI’s are used to treat depression, anxiety, etc. and aren’t considered addictive. It’s not good to stop taking them without a doctor’s supervision, but you wouldn’t have a craving for it if you did stop, like you would with alcohol or pills like opioids or benzos.

Now days most kids are growing up with parents who are addicted to pills instead, such as SSRIs, etc.

Don't know which is worse. Addicts are everywhere it seems.

Anonymous wrote:If you grew up
With an alcoholic parent how did it impact you? Do you still love your parent? Do you wish your parents divorced?

one died, I wish the other would

in. laws: both suck and are emotionally stunted

Bump

I don’t have much love for my dad. He isn’t really capable of loving us either. He is a lying liar who lies— as are most addicts. I’m in my 50s. I don’t need to spend any emotional bandwidth on him. We are very low contact.

My mom is dead but I also really resented her choices. She was too caught up in her codependency to protect us from him driving us around while drunk.

This is a super highly functioning guy — high profile job, charismatic, etc. It finally all fell apart in his mid 70s.

A person is a person.

Alcohol only accentuates what is already there.

Anonymous wrote:If you grew up
With an alcoholic parent how did it impact you? Do you still love your parent? Do you wish your parents divorced?

My mom was an alcoholic. She abused and neglected me. I didn't stop loving her, I started hating myself.

Read any book on adult children of alcoholics (ACOA). That’s me. Mostly, life was always uncertain-so now I hate change of any type. Even ordinary change throws me.

Fortunately there was no physical abuse and I always knew they loved me even if it was seldom expressed.

I agree with PP about finding an ACOA group. Therapy with a counselor with training in substance abuse would be very helpful.

Good luck. There are a lot of us and many things get better.

OP if you are the adult child of an alcoholic have you processed this with ACOA or Al-Anon?

If you are a co-parent with an alcoholic have you processed this with Al-Anon?

Another option for either is a counselor who specializes in substance abuse.

I'm sorry for whatever you have gone through or are going through.

If you grew up
With an alcoholic parent how did it impact you? Do you still love your parent? Do you wish your parents divorced?