I"m 58, she's 53, one college aged kid. I get this speech all the time. Accompanied by "if you were just more successful in your career, I wouldn't have to work this stupid job.,"

Anonymous wrote:+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

Pfft. Then you have to trust a man to be able to work and bring home enough money to support your lifestyle. You also have to make sure you “keep him happy at home” to ensure he doesn’t “stray”

The answer doesn’t lie in going backwards, it is in more lenient hours, part-time work, more parental leave etc. This requires employers to change with the help of government.

Don’t exchange one story for another one that is worse. Keep moving toward real workplace changes for BOTH genders.

That’s the only way they could get men to sign off on it. What man would allow his wife to go to work if it meant he was going to have more work?

And pay has not lowered for everyone. That is another misconception. People love to talk about the 50s but that was a one time experience where the US was flush with money after a war and millions of Americans had just died. The years before were a depression. Go to any museum and you can see how most houses were no bigger than an apartment today and usually much smaller than even that and how the number of items in a household were less. Another time was when slaves or indentured servants worked for others. They had less money than today. Life is more expensive because we choose to make life bigger and more complex. Women also worked many more hours than today. There are still women today that homeschool and take care of the home and make it just fine in America with four kids. They don't work less than a mom that works out of the house. If you want to be a trad wife there are options to be one in America still.

One of the best talks I went to was one where a bunch of older moms gave advice to younger moms. It was called "you can have it all, just not all at the same time" and they talked about the different stages of their life and how they balanced work and home life in different ways.

I have a feeling either some very young mom or some guy started this. Anyone with a middle school child in public school has seen the larger diversity of how people make things work and the larger diversity of family income.

They are seeing trad lives through rose colored glasses. Yes there were plenty of men and still are that dont want to work. Plenty of men that have a baby with you and then just leave. Plenty of men that make money but then try to control you.

I agree older moms should have more lessons of life for younger moms. I think it would help them, give them confidence and also make them aware of some of the darker sides of life to look out for.

I also think it's been good to read and hear about how much work is involved in the home. I disagree that it was women who said home work wasn't real work. That started with men and with capitalism. Capitalism says that making money is the most important thing. Men became more disconnected from home life because they were working away from the home. When people worked at home as farmers and didn't have as much money they were less likely to see work at the home and with children as less work or lower work. In addition capitalism led to a larger upper class where people worked less overall so yes women had more free time and if in the south with "the help" there was an even lower class to do work at home. I have no idea where this idea that feminism caused all the problems in the world came from except from the manosphere which wants to take no responsibility for anything.

You can’t have it all, ALL the time.

Anonymous wrote:+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

An unintended effect of women entering the workforce is it lowered the pay for everyone (the workforce almost doubled), and now it’s almost necessary for both parents to work.

The feminist movement didn’t want women to be dependent on abusive husbands, but then went extremist with the unhealthy idea that raising children and taking care of family is not “real” work.

I want to work and be a mom. My brains will melt at home w/t a job. Yes, school hours are challenging but manageable — one parent drops off, the other picks up. Let people vent and complain! Once they go on vacation that they can afford due to dual income, and provide kids with extra curriculars that they can afford in this area due to dual income, they will feel better and choose work over staying at home again and again.

I saw a post like this and if it's the same one (by a feminist man) it annoyed me. It's not just Mom's responsibility to do all this. If there's two working parents, it's on both of them.

DCUM gripes aside, most dual income families do some splitting of kid logistics even if it isn't 50-50.

If you don’t want to work and can afford to not work, then don’t.
You don’t speak for all working moms (see post lamenting not being to do summer swim and the shame of showing up at pick up with work clothes on).

Those same feminists are the first to bash the SAHM, because they just can’t fathom a woman actually wants to raise her own children

Anonymous wrote:Sir, this is a Wendy's.

+1
Move along, Mac. We don’t serve crazy.

+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

Just saw a social media fb post on a local moms page from a lamenting mom earnestly asking the question of how in the world moms are supposed to work 9-5, but still get kids to school by 8AM and picked up at 3PM and have time to make dinner and energy for homework help and so on and so on.

The clear answer is, of course, that they aren’t supposed to do this. In fact, most men were perfectly happy with the arrangement of division of labor where he performed the “outside” labor that secured earned income for the family and she performed the domestic labor that allowed the home and children to be cared for without outsourcing those duties and payments to someone else.
No one asked women to “do it all”—and women were offended by this!
And yet, somehow about 40 years ago some so-called feminists convinced women that they were being oppressed and needed the “freedom” to go spend their days working outside the home as well.
Yay for feminism!