Anonymous
06/09/2025 14:25
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
I'm pretty open about our FA status to other parents. I'm sure word gets around. I'm not ashamed of it and we're obviously one of the poor ones at the school, but I think there's so much mystery around it that I feel compelled to be an open book about it.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 14:00
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You clearly triggered some people, OP!
Two things: word gets around because this information is not actually confidential. But most of the stuff you read on DCUM is people making assumptions based on context clues.
Yes, clearly the people who knows private info of others are triggered!! They know that they know stuff they should not know. And they should realize that it is crystal clear to the financial aid families that this is happening.
My dear OP. Some of these people think FA families are secondary citizens at school, and should just be grateful for the crumbs they receive - so they absolutely do not care how they come across. I've read such gems on here writing as "I'm paying for their kid's education, so they'd better behave and look humble and grateful!". What can you do with such people?
Yes, we are totally secondary citizens, that's what we expected. BUT, we never thought we would be the subject of gossip among big donor parents and school staff. That has been a shock.
You have the last laugh because they are funding your kid’s education. Just be glad it’s not the same as my brother’s boarding school in the 1990s. They made him work part time in the dining halls cleaning up after his classmates as part of his financial aid package.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 13:58
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You clearly triggered some people, OP!
Two things: word gets around because this information is not actually confidential. But most of the stuff you read on DCUM is people making assumptions based on context clues.
Yes, clearly the people who knows private info of others are triggered!! They know that they know stuff they should not know. And they should realize that it is crystal clear to the financial aid families that this is happening.
My dear OP. Some of these people think FA families are secondary citizens at school, and should just be grateful for the crumbs they receive - so they absolutely do not care how they come across. I've read such gems on here writing as "I'm paying for their kid's education, so they'd better behave and look humble and grateful!". What can you do with such people?
Yes, we are totally secondary citizens, that's what we expected. BUT, we never thought we would be the subject of gossip among big donor parents and school staff. That has been a shock.
How do you know this is happening? (Honest question, not trying to bait you.)
Anonymous
06/09/2025 13:00
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You clearly triggered some people, OP!
Two things: word gets around because this information is not actually confidential. But most of the stuff you read on DCUM is people making assumptions based on context clues.
Yes, clearly the people who knows private info of others are triggered!! They know that they know stuff they should not know. And they should realize that it is crystal clear to the financial aid families that this is happening.
My dear OP. Some of these people think FA families are secondary citizens at school, and should just be grateful for the crumbs they receive - so they absolutely do not care how they come across. I've read such gems on here writing as "I'm paying for their kid's education, so they'd better behave and look humble and grateful!". What can you do with such people?
Yes, we are totally secondary citizens, that's what we expected. BUT, we never thought we would be the subject of gossip among big donor parents and school staff. That has been a shock.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:57
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You clearly triggered some people, OP!
Two things: word gets around because this information is not actually confidential. But most of the stuff you read on DCUM is people making assumptions based on context clues.
Yes, clearly the people who knows private info of others are triggered!! They know that they know stuff they should not know. And they should realize that it is crystal clear to the financial aid families that this is happening.
My dear OP. Some of these people think FA families are secondary citizens at school, and should just be grateful for the crumbs they receive - so they absolutely do not care how they come across. I've read such gems on here writing as "I'm paying for their kid's education, so they'd better behave and look humble and grateful!". What can you do with such people?
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:54
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
How do you know they know? I work at a private school and am a parent at another. Parents think they know and some to care but faculty and staff really don’t nor do they care.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:54
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:OP you are correct that faculty and other parents shouldn’t know this information. You might want to ask a school administrator what the school’s policy on this is.
The school website clearly states the information. But we have become aware that the information is not kept confidential. Do the big donors actively request to know who they are donating to? Is this the reason for why this info is leaked? I am guessing yes, because some of them behave entitled AF.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:52
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:You clearly triggered some people, OP!
Two things: word gets around because this information is not actually confidential. But most of the stuff you read on DCUM is people making assumptions based on context clues.
Yes, clearly the people who knows private info of others are triggered!! They know that they know stuff they should not know. And they should realize that it is crystal clear to the financial aid families that this is happening.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:51
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
OP you are correct that faculty and other parents shouldn’t know this information. You might want to ask a school administrator what the school’s policy on this is.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:50
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
You clearly triggered some people, OP!
Two things: word gets around because this information is not actually confidential. But most of the stuff you read on DCUM is people making assumptions based on context clues.
Two things: word gets around because this information is not actually confidential. But most of the stuff you read on DCUM is people making assumptions based on context clues.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:48
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is it that some major donors (and even certain faculty members) seem to know which families are receiving financial aid? This strikes me as highly inappropriate and potentially a violation of privacy regulations. At the very least, it feels ethically troubling.
It’s disheartening and frankly upsetting. This kind of breach creates a sense of exclusion and judgment that no family should have to endure. While we’re grateful that the school has been a positive environment for our child, this issue casts a long shadow. It raises real questions about whether this is the right community for our family because, frankly, it has become quite painful to stay and be around other families at this point.
I hope school administrators and staff in the private schools read this.
This sounds like a 'you' problem and you sound entitled AF. I promise you that most staff and families don't give this any thought. Why would they care? You should feel grateful and chill out. Or leave. I'm sure that many other families will happily receive the aid that you're having such strong ethically troubled feelings about.
Well, I think you should read that the school websites always say this is confidential information. Update websites then. Problem solved. You cannot announce it one way and do another.
I think you are entitled AF to think that big donors and faculty are entitled to know such private info.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:42
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:Why is it that some major donors (and even certain faculty members) seem to know which families are receiving financial aid? This strikes me as highly inappropriate and potentially a violation of privacy regulations. At the very least, it feels ethically troubling.
It’s disheartening and frankly upsetting. This kind of breach creates a sense of exclusion and judgment that no family should have to endure. While we’re grateful that the school has been a positive environment for our child, this issue casts a long shadow. It raises real questions about whether this is the right community for our family because, frankly, it has become quite painful to stay and be around other families at this point.
I hope school administrators and staff in the private schools read this.
This sounds like a 'you' problem and you sound entitled AF. I promise you that most staff and families don't give this any thought. Why would they care? You should feel grateful and chill out. Or leave. I'm sure that many other families will happily receive the aid that you're having such strong ethically troubled feelings about.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:39
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Anonymous wrote:Settle down, Gladys. Sounds like YOU have a ton of judgment around people getting financial aid. Just because parents and/or teachers know doesn't mean they're discussing it with kids.
So, WHO, they are discussing it with? With the other parents over drinks, coffee? Or during school meetings among staff? Are THOSE appropriate?
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:37
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Settle down, Gladys. Sounds like YOU have a ton of judgment around people getting financial aid. Just because parents and/or teachers know doesn't mean they're discussing it with kids.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 12:34
Subject: Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information
Why is it that some major donors (and even certain faculty members) seem to know which families are receiving financial aid? This strikes me as highly inappropriate and potentially a violation of privacy regulations. At the very least, it feels ethically troubling.
It’s disheartening and frankly upsetting. This kind of breach creates a sense of exclusion and judgment that no family should have to endure. While we’re grateful that the school has been a positive environment for our child, this issue casts a long shadow. It raises real questions about whether this is the right community for our family because, frankly, it has become quite painful to stay and be around other families at this point.
I hope school administrators and staff in the private schools read this.
It’s disheartening and frankly upsetting. This kind of breach creates a sense of exclusion and judgment that no family should have to endure. While we’re grateful that the school has been a positive environment for our child, this issue casts a long shadow. It raises real questions about whether this is the right community for our family because, frankly, it has become quite painful to stay and be around other families at this point.
I hope school administrators and staff in the private schools read this.