Anonymous wrote:Her anxiety is entirely out of control, OP, as often happens with the elderly, and the problem is that she and everyone else around her has normalized and lived with it too long for her to do anything about it now.
Try to get her to break the lease. Tell her point blank that she's too stressful to be around, and that you won't be happy if she's so close to you all the time. It's far, far, better to have the big hurtful fight now, while she hasn't moved yet, than to have it afterward! I know, it's scary and you'll feel bad in the moment, but you can't let your mother ruin your marriage and stress you out in your neighborhood. You come first, not her.
Me again. It sounds like you were expecting her to move closer at some point, and unfortunately maybe you verbalized that. Don't leave that door open, OP. Tell her you meant a nursing home or senior living place, where she could have her own social anchor, not just plonking herself right next to you and expecting to graft herself to your life.