Anonymous wrote:If your intent is to permanently damage their sibling relationship, then sure, leave them different amounts.

Exacty this.

Equally absent compelling reasons is the only logical way to leave assets. You have no compelling reasons. Give with a warm hand while you are alive (vacations, childcare costs, summer camps, house down payment, etc.)

Anonymous wrote:8 figures is a ton, even split in half. I would give to both equally. The only time I say otherwise is in the case of severe disability where the adult child needs lifelong caregiving.

This. If you were talking about 1 mil., I could see the argument but 8 figures? Split it. They will both be in great shape.

Anonymous wrote:8 figures is a ton, even split in half. I would give to both equally. The only time I say otherwise is in the case of severe disability where the adult child needs lifelong caregiving.

+1

You don't know what the future holds. Your more successful child could deal with divorce, mental or physical health issues, a child with special needs, a collapse in their industry, etc. Your less successful child could ultimately wind up better off.

To be clear, I also think that your less successful child may already be dealing with headwinds you might just not be aware of. What reads as lack of discipline or effort to you now could actually be anxiety or other challenges over which they may not have control right now. Some of the most successful adults I know were mildly aimless as teens, went to lower ranked colleges (some even taking more than 4 years to graduate) but really put it together later on.

As you said, success in life is often mostly luck disguised as hard work. Assume either or both of your kids could hit bad (or good) luck and both have the same capacity to work hard.

I think equal division is also equitable.

It sounds like both of your kids are fine. Spend what you want on yourselves and give the rest to charity.

8 figures is $10M. So a $5M inheritance will conservatively throw off $150,000 a year in income. That is more than enough to ensure child 2 lives a life of comfort and safety.

Unless some extraordinary circumstance (eg disability, as a PP mentioned), split it equally.

Otherwise you’re risking resentment and why try to drive a wedge between your kids?

If your intent is to permanently damage their sibling relationship, then sure, leave them different amounts.

Spilt it absent disabilities - that amount is in the (high end of the) sweet spot of being significant even when split to be a very generous inheritance/safety net - but not so significant that flat out greed/dynastic wealth kicks in.

Regarding giving $$ to grandchildren - do they have kids yet? Do they have a similar number of kids? More kids on the way? Stepkids? That can be a landmine for many reasons (child with more kids might feel entitled to more, child with no kids might feel it’s unfair, etc etc)

It’s kind of odd that you are claiming kid #2 is less successful due to bad luck or other 3rd party circumstances unless you raised kid #2 significantly differently than kid #1.

In any event, I agree with the above that split equally unless a kid had true medical or other special needs.

Seems like Kid #2 will live a more modest lifestyle that doesn’t require inheriting say $6MM vs $5MM…it will be a massive boost to Kid #2 either way and won’t create a family rift.

I would say that it depends on how many kids they each have.

Why would kid 2 need more than $4 million?

I would give it equally. If the inheritance amount was much lower, I might have a different answer.

Equal inheritance.

And you will most improve your kids' lives by giving them money while they are young/you are alive. If you want to give more financial support to your younger kid, do it now. It will make the most difference.

Equal inheritance.

8 figures is a ton, even split in half. I would give to both equally. The only time I say otherwise is in the case of severe disability where the adult child needs lifelong caregiving.

when it comes to inheritance..

We have 2 kids. Kid 1 - Got it together, works for high tech, good career trajectory. Saves the max in tax deferred accounts since 22 ($77K this year), worked 2 jobs in college, etc. We also paid for a T20 (full pay). Kid 2 - Not so much. About as intelligent as K1 but not as driven. In-state T75.

Based on what we see, and barring the unforeseen, Kid 1 likely end up UMC/rich. Kid 2 will likely end up MC.. maybe UMC if he puts his mind to it. We plan on paying for their kids' college and other life expenses equally, if allowed. We had originally planned to will our assets (8 figure) equally between the two but now thinking of giving Kid 2 more to narrow that gap. I know some folks will chime in with "he didn't work hard enough", but as we get older I see most of life outcomes as mostly luck with a strong illusion of choice. But I digress..

What would you do? We want to start discussions on this topic with Kid 1 (older, more mature).