Anonymous
06/04/2025 17:15
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
I'm so confused why you're so hurt by what your son said. You sound so ridiculously over dramatic. And did you call the restaurant yourself? Seems very odd they wouldn't take a reservation for 65 and would rather you all just show up unannounced.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 16:57
Subject: Re:rehearsal dinner planning
not what you asked, but you can consider a dinner for just the wedding party and then a reception/cocktails for the entire 65 people. I think a sit down for 65 the night before the wedding seems a bit much.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 16:41
Subject: Re:rehearsal dinner planning
PP - why ISN'T
Anonymous
06/04/2025 16:40
Subject: Re:rehearsal dinner planning
Why is the the couple finding the location. My ILs paid for the rehearsal dinner (married ~10 years ago), but we gave them suggestions for locations since they didn't know the area. It think that we (groom) may have ended up making the reservation as well.
Tell your son that he and his fiancee need to suggest some places since you are not familiar with the area. Or you can tell them I'll write you a check for x amount, you make the arrangements. It's gracious of you to pay for dinner for 65 people since typically the rehearsal dinner is just the wedding party and the immediate family.
Tell your son that he and his fiancee need to suggest some places since you are not familiar with the area. Or you can tell them I'll write you a check for x amount, you make the arrangements. It's gracious of you to pay for dinner for 65 people since typically the rehearsal dinner is just the wedding party and the immediate family.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 15:33
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
Anonymous wrote:Absurd response by your DS. I am sure that did not come from him. but your future DIL. Yikes. Ask your hotel concierge for suggestions or book it onsite. no way would I leave to chance feeding 65 people Are all of them in the rehearsal?
OP here, it made me so sad to see his response.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 15:15
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
Absurd response by your DS. I am sure that did not come from him. but your future DIL. Yikes. Ask your hotel concierge for suggestions or book it onsite. no way would I leave to chance feeding 65 people Are all of them in the rehearsal?
Anonymous
06/04/2025 15:07
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
Call the hotel, maybe they have recommendations.
Otherwise, go online and see what is there. Or talk to the bride's mom, since this is her family's spot. I wouldn't drive 6.5 hours just to plan it.
Otherwise, go online and see what is there. Or talk to the bride's mom, since this is her family's spot. I wouldn't drive 6.5 hours just to plan it.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 14:58
Subject: Re:rehearsal dinner planning
Anonymous wrote:When did the parents plan the rehearsal dinner? We married 30 years ago and we made the plans, as did our friends when they married.
Sorry but traditionally it's planned by the groom's parents. More couples take it on since many pay for it themselves, but when groom's family is paying, they should plan it.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 14:55
Subject: Re:rehearsal dinner planning
Anonymous wrote:When did the parents plan the rehearsal dinner? We married 30 years ago and we made the plans, as did our friends when they married.
I got married 25 years ago and my MIL planned the rehearsal dinner.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 14:54
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
Anonymous wrote:I don't think it would be crazy for you to travel to the location to look at options. Make a list and go see which venue you like best. You're spending a lot of money on this, so make sure you're comfortable with your selection.
This. Why are you trying to use the planner the brides family hired. This is your party, throw it. If you just want to pay, then ask the B&G to plan it. You don't just show up at a vacation spot with 65 people, you have to rent a room or the whole restaurant out and probably have a preplanned menu.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 14:50
Subject: Re:rehearsal dinner planning
When did the parents plan the rehearsal dinner? We married 30 years ago and we made the plans, as did our friends when they married.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 14:01
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
I don't think it would be crazy for you to travel to the location to look at options. Make a list and go see which venue you like best. You're spending a lot of money on this, so make sure you're comfortable with your selection.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 13:52
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
You don't need to make the bride and groom do this. Call around the location and see what's there. Call the hotel even and ask.
Come up with some ideas first and then talk to the bride and groom.
My inlaws did make me plan the rehearsal dinner and they paid months after the wedding. I truly had no time to plan yet another event, and no money so it wasn't a great situation. It's not normally something the bride and groom have to plan.
Come up with some ideas first and then talk to the bride and groom.
My inlaws did make me plan the rehearsal dinner and they paid months after the wedding. I truly had no time to plan yet another event, and no money so it wasn't a great situation. It's not normally something the bride and groom have to plan.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 13:47
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
Anonymous wrote:I am the MOG for a couple who is having a 65-person destination wedding. The destination is a family vacation spot of the brides; their family has been going to for many years. I have never been to the location which is 6.5 hours from my home. I offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner (and some smaller value items), which all 65 of the guests would attend. I was told of one option for a venue, that did not take reservations, so I asked if the couple could consult with their wedding planner for other venues as I was uncomfortable with taking that risk for 65 people that are all travelling for the weekend, my DS told me the planner was not hired to give suggestions for the dinner. I'm kind of hurt at that remark, is that typical these days?
Usually planners have a list of services for a particular price and may charge more for a package with more services. It's possible this planner isn't willing to go beyond the purchased package. I wouldn't be hurt by that.
I'd let your son know that you will need their help sorting the rehearsal dinner location. Maybe you could speak with a relative of the bride who has been to the area many times? Or the couple could help you? You may also have to do some online searching yourself and suggest options you find that are closer to what you'd like to host.
Anonymous
06/04/2025 13:43
Subject: rehearsal dinner planning
I am the MOG for a couple who is having a 65-person destination wedding. The destination is a family vacation spot of the brides; their family has been going to for many years. I have never been to the location which is 6.5 hours from my home. I offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner (and some smaller value items), which all 65 of the guests would attend. I was told of one option for a venue, that did not take reservations, so I asked if the couple could consult with their wedding planner for other venues as I was uncomfortable with taking that risk for 65 people that are all travelling for the weekend, my DS told me the planner was not hired to give suggestions for the dinner. I'm kind of hurt at that remark, is that typical these days?