Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Academic graduation is HS and College BA or PhD.

That's the list.

OP here & I agree. My brother really cares about his side of the family attending his son’s events, I think in part because he’s acrimoniously divorced (that’s another can of worms). So I do feel guilty and try to make an extra effort to be there for him and his son. It’s just it’ll be such a long day for my little one, even if I let him stay home from camp that day to rest up beforehand.

Does your brother go out of his way to attend your kids’ minute vanity events?

There’s your answer.

If you can go, go. It’s not that long of a drive.

No. I wouldn’t expect my siblings to attend any of my kids’ graduations unless they happened to be visiting for some other reason. I didn’t even want to attend mine.

Junior High graduation isn’t a thing.

No, not with two young kids.

No, the high school one is the big one.

Can you invite them for a celebration dinner or lunch the weekend before or after instead? Seems like a lot for 8th grade

Skip it. Middle school graduation isn’t a big deal. Send a card and a check if you feel guilty but want to feel less guilty. It’s nbd and your brother should remember what 5-year-olds are like.

Middle school?!?!?!?

Ha ha ha ha.

No way. These parents are really asking a lot here. I bet they won't come to your kids' stuff.

All this for a junior high graduation? It’s not even a real graduation! Stay home.

Our middle school made it clear that at the end of 8th grade, it's a promotion ceremony, not a graduation.

Anonymous wrote:Academic graduation is HS and College BA or PhD.

That's the list.

OP here & I agree. My brother really cares about his side of the family attending his son’s events, I think in part because he’s acrimoniously divorced (that’s another can of worms). So I do feel guilty and try to make an extra effort to be there for him and his son. It’s just it’ll be such a long day for my little one, even if I let him stay home from camp that day to rest up beforehand.

Traveling 90 minutes each way for junior high graduation is not something that my family would expect, but your family might be different. If you think your 9 year old would enjoy it, sending him with your parents seems very reasonable.

Academic graduation is HS and College BA or PhD.

That's the list.

My brother’s family and the ceremony are about an hour and half away from where we live. I have two kids, my younger one is only 5 and the one making me debate whether to go or not. DH will be out of town, so I’ll be on my own. We’d have to leave our place by 3 pm to make the 5 pm ceremony, and I’m guesstimating with a 1.5 hour ceremony, we’d be home around 9 pm.

I took both kids to the same nephew’s play a few weeks ago. It was a similar day (12-7 pm), and while it was more doable due to being earlier in the day, my 5 yo got cranky/wired, fell asleep in the car, then I had to wrangle a cranky half-asleep kid through bedtime routine.

This time is harder because it’s later in the day; I know both kids will pass out in the car and be really tired the next morning and they both have camp. My older kid is attending half-day camp that starts at 8:30 am through the school district and absences/tardiness are not okay without a compelling reason. If DH were in town, I’d let my 5 yo sleep in and go to his camp late, but because DH won’t be here, my 5 yo will have to wake up on time and come with me to drop off my 9 yo.

Sorry if too many details. I am trying to get a babysitter for the 5 yo, but with only one week’s notice on the time of the ceremony (I’ve been asking my brother for details since April), our usual sitter is unavailable & I probably won’t be able to find one. Assuming I can’t find a sitter, I’m debating whether I should 1) schlep all of us to the ceremony and just deal with all of the fatigue, cranky kids, and stress on my own because this is my kids’ one and only cousin and my brother is a good guy, or 2) have only my 9 yo go with my parents while I stay home with my 5 yo. And then there’s a part of me that says waaaiiittt this is not even high school, back in the day, we didn’t have graduation ceremonies for junior high, so do we even need to go??