I agree with you, OP. It's completely bizarre.

Anonymous wrote:Because the other parents at the private schools don't want their precious resources to be spent on ASD kids. And these parents think that they are raising bright kids, but are just raising ableist jerks.

I’m sorry but you are an a-hole. I pay for private and they sure as hell better not be spending a disproportionate amount of resources on a select group of kids. We are making massive sacrifices to pay that tuition for my SN child.

Because SN schools are specialized for a specific diagnosis or set of diagnosis. The reason they exist and people choose them is because they are so specialized. There are many private SN schools in the area that cater to students with autism. There are many that cater to other disorders.

Not op but, what would happen if a HFA kid is in a mainstream school with no social supports? How would the disadvantages manifest?

Because the other parents at the private schools don't want their precious resources to be spent on ASD kids. And these parents think that they are raising bright kids, but are just raising ableist jerks.

Which private schools may be able to cater to students with autism with above-average or strong academic capabilities but with social anxiety?

Kids with ASD learn differently, even the “best kids” require more effort than any NT child. Good staffing ratios for an academic setting should never exceed 1:3, and most need 1:1. You need specialized training, specialized skills, specialized educational programs, etc. It’s very expensive to staff and train and teach and retain staff on a large scale at this level of specialization.

Because their IQ is too high. My kid is in an SN school because academics. If you have a kid on the spectrum with an average IQ or better the SN school is not the right place. Go to a private known to cater to autism (they exist).

My kid was 2E, with serious adhd and high IQ and we couldn’t fun a private school to take him, as he didn’t “interview” well (basically didn’t want to engage with the classroom visit) and his teacher recommendation from public school was terrible (because the teacher didn’t know anything about SN kids and so had just ignored him all year). We ended up begging the public school to give him a teacher with more SN and gifted experience, and the next year was a total game changer with a teacher that got him engaged and back on track. He’s a teenager now and the behavioral challenges he had in early ES are all gone and he takes exclusively advanced classes. But I have a definite chip on my shoulder about those private schools that billed themselves as appropriate for SN kids but then were too worried that he’d be a problem to take him.

In retrospect, I may have also been too honest about his challenges — I thought if I gave them a totally honest balanced assessment, they would appreciate that, but I think in retrospect they assume everyone is sugar coating so they may have thought things were worse than they were.

Well, I think some schools do-- not every school has a surplus of applicants, and some schools do see this as part of their mission. But still, the number has to be manageable and of extra services are needed, it has to be paid for somehow.

If social skills and friendships are an issue, remember that at small schools they do need kids with good social skills because at small schools, kids don't have a lot of friendship options. In a school with only say 18 kids in a grade, it's already pretty tight.

They don't want to deal with it. They don't want to have to spend any resources for support. They want a certain social environment. How is this puzzling?

Anonymous wrote:Is it the behavioral issue stigma, they need more, I always wondered. Lots are very gifted, and mild mannered and would not be a problem in a mainstream, or SN environment.

Because they already have some of those kids, they just admitted them prior to diagnosis or it wasn't disclosed. They don't want to have more than they already have. And if they did, siblings of current students would probably be the ones they chose.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? They don’t want to deal with any of it. My autistic kid was mild mannered and calm and lovely until one day he wasn’t. A school that isn’t set up for ASD doesn’t want to take that chance. Is it fair? Probably not. Do they care? Absolutely not. They have enough people to fill the seats. They don’t have to take kids they don’t want.

This.

Honestly? They don’t want to deal with any of it. My autistic kid was mild mannered and calm and lovely until one day he wasn’t. A school that isn’t set up for ASD doesn’t want to take that chance. Is it fair? Probably not. Do they care? Absolutely not. They have enough people to fill the seats. They don’t have to take kids they don’t want.

Is it the behavioral issue stigma, they need more, I always wondered. Lots are very gifted, and mild mannered and would not be a problem in a mainstream, or SN environment.