Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Empty nest time has been lovely. My husband and I feel like young adults again! And the bonus is, we get to enjoy traveling to visit our fledged children in the cool cities they work/live in.

This was bizarre. The original poster explained she is a single parent and is asking if other single parents feel lonely. Rubbing in that you have a husband whom you love to travel and go to “cool cities” with is a really bizarre response

Agreed. What a tone-deaf jerk.

OP, I’m glad you started this thread because I’m a single mom of a HS student and I think about this a lot. The main draw for DC is going to be our dog, honestly, and once the dog dies I’m figuring I’ll be traveling to wherever DC is. Lots of threads here have posters talking about how kids become closer again in later 20s after being more aloof in early adulthood. And you’re competing with a boyfriend, which is super tough. Maybe she and the boyfriend can come visit you together? And you pay for all travel expenses unless it’s just a few hours drive.

Hugs to you.

I’m single and my son lives a plane flight away and I see him 4-6 times a year and we speak on the phone a couple of times a week. Being an empty nester was initially pretty lonely but over time I’ve found ways to stay very active and socially engaged. I’m in a nice relationship that’s FWB-type that’s just fine for me at this point. I’ve only been divorced for three years so I’m not ready for something long term but might be in a few years.

OP, I’m not to that stage yet, but I have a friend really struggling with having an empty nest. A friend of hers recommended this podcast from Kelly Corrigan. My friend said she wept the whole way through the first listening, but once she had some space, she re-listened and found it insightful and helpful.

Good luck.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622?i=1000666596588

I don’t understand why you’re pressuring her to visit you. That doesn’t seem like a good way to have a positive relationship! Why don’t you visit her? Or, and I mean this kindly, do some reflection about what you can do differently to make her WANT to visit you.

I’m also a single mom.

Anonymous wrote:Do you think empty nest is harder for you?

My kid is in the busy, independent stage of her life—which I know is normal and healthy. Yet, we clash around what I think are reasonable expectations for contact (talking every few weeks, visiting 3-4 x a year?) She picks the times and frequency, but does not seem to look forward to our visits. It hurts me so.

I wonder if it is because she is now in a romantic relationship?

It’s for all the reasons you listed. She’s in the busy, independent stage of her life and in a romantic relationship. All I can offer is that clashing about it or nagging her won’t get you what you want - which sounds like a genuine relationship, not one she doesn’t enjoy and created by duty.

There are seasons in relationships with our adult children so try not to spoil this one because it could poison things going forward. Maybe find a therapist to process your feelings with.

Anonymous wrote:I love being an empty nester. I visit my adult children maybe 3-4x a year and they visit us when their schedules permit. It's lovely being able to do whatever my husband and I want since he is retired as well. If you are lonely consider adopting a sweet kitty or a small dog.

Troll. Butt out, this is regarding single parenting not couple parenting

People obviously have stopped reading these days

I love being an empty nester. I visit my adult children maybe 3-4x a year and they visit us when their schedules permit. It's lovely being able to do whatever my husband and I want since he is retired as well. If you are lonely consider adopting a sweet kitty or a small dog.

Anonymous wrote:Empty nest time has been lovely. My husband and I feel like young adults again! And the bonus is, we get to enjoy traveling to visit our fledged children in the cool cities they work/live in.

This was bizarre. The original poster explained she is a single parent and is asking if other single parents feel lonely. Rubbing in that you have a husband whom you love to travel and go to “cool cities” with is a really bizarre response

You obviously did something wrong as a parent. What do you think it was?

Empty nest time has been lovely. My husband and I feel like young adults again! And the bonus is, we get to enjoy traveling to visit our fledged children in the cool cities they work/live in.

3-4 times a year is a LOT if its more than a couple hours by car.

How old is she, is she working full time, how far does she live, do you have other children?

Are you offering to pay for her to come visit you those four times a year? How often are you offering to go visit her? I visit my father (across the country) roughly once every 4 years. He comes here 2-3 times a year (there are grandkids from other children for him to visit).

Surely you can see it's more exciting for your daughter to hang out with her new love than her old nagging mom.

Why not ask her if you can have a standing call once a month so you two can catch up?

Anonymous wrote:Do you think empty nest is harder for you?

My kid is in the busy, independent stage of her life—which I know is normal and healthy. Yet, we clash around what I think are reasonable expectations for contact (talking every few weeks, visiting 3-4 x a year?) She picks the times and frequency, but does not seem to look forward to our visits. It hurts me so.

I wonder if it is because she is now in a romantic relationship?

How old is she?
At what stage of her education/career?
How far away?
Expain the single parent thing, please.

Do you think empty nest is harder for you?

My kid is in the busy, independent stage of her life—which I know is normal and healthy. Yet, we clash around what I think are reasonable expectations for contact (talking every few weeks, visiting 3-4 x a year?) She picks the times and frequency, but does not seem to look forward to our visits. It hurts me so.

I wonder if it is because she is now in a romantic relationship?