I love a GOOD wedding.
Comfy/enough seating for all
Proper temperature control - ie not outdoors in Jan/aug
Tasty/enough food for all
Open bar (never ask a guest to open their wallet for your party)
Good music
Love in the air

But I’m picky that if you’re inviting people to your wedding you better make it worth their while and make sure they are comfortable and cared for.

What? Nooooo.

I do. I love to be a guest at a big fat Indian wedding. It is endless excitement and fun, food, spirits, rituals, family and friends, Bollywood, drama, dressing up, kids, relatives, reunions.

Yes, I have hosted my own DD's wedding and it was extremely stressful. Once that was over, I only had two thoughts - 1. DD2 should elope. 2. I want to attend the Indian Shaadi of someone else's kid.

I do not want the very simple 30-minute or one-day wedding or the barnyard wedding or backyard wedding or only 20 people wedding. Ideally, I want the full-on fun and festivity of multiple days of shaadi (usually I need to be close to the parents to be invited for every event), with kids running around, people getting drunk, diamonds and gold dripping from all the attendees, choreographed bollywood dance, close relatives and college friends of parents attending from at least Canada, India, UK, Hong Kong and Australia, diabetic uncles overdosing on Indian sweets or sweet paan...all of the craziness and tradition BUT on someone else's dime.

I am willing to spend on the hotel rooms for multiple days, hefty cash gifts, expensive outfits for multiple events for my entire family, hairstyle, makeup, nails, spa treatment, saree draping for my own crew etc. And take all the requisite group dance lessons on zoom from the teacher in Mumbai. And take all the jabs needed to attend the potential-to-turn-into-super-spreader event. And play the Dholki for the Sangeet night, and bring my dandiya sticks for Garba Night. And the western gown if the Indian kid marries a non-Indian gora kid in a "church" or "non-denominational" wedding. And be available to help my friend (whose kid is getting married) in any capacity that they need. And carry the nitro-glycerine tablets in my purse because someone will have to make a trip to ER out of the 300 people attending. (There is always a heart patient who will dance bhangra and drink, or a youngster who is taking God knows what). We all know the drill of how the "Sharma Ji ki Ladki ki Shaadi" will go.

I like some weddings. Mainly, the ones where it’s convenient, don’t involve a 30 min mandatory shuttle ride there and back from the hotel, have good food and drinks, and where my entire family is invited so we can attend as a family if we choose or go on our own if we choose.

I dislike weddings that are curated for instagram but highly inconvenient for guests- such as a destination wedding, with off site hotel and a mandatory shuttle ride, cash bar, strict dress code to make photos look better (such as color scheme, etc), too much emphasis on photo ops in general at the expense of guests (2 hour long “cocktail
Hour” at the cash bar while the bride groom and wedding party are all off at an extended photo session, being told no phones and no pics as to not upstage the brides photo reveal in a few weeks, etc), bad food, party not ending until midnight and no way to return to the hotel early due to the shuttle not arriving yet, 15 min long cake cutting ceremony (with multiple photo ops) that we must watch …. I could go on.

I really like weddings! I don't expect my children to attend and I also don't feel obligated to attend destination weddings.

Some great weddings I've been to were where the bride and groom eloped/destination wedding with only their parents and then had a BIG party back home where they invited hundreds and didn't care how many kids were there. The party didn't have seats for everyone, but nobody wanted to sit anyways, just the elderly.

I don’t like winnings, but that’s probably because I worked as a caterer for a long time and catered to weddings.

I also feel like it’s cosplay.

I eloped.

But… Other people like weddings so if somebody is important to me and they’re having wedding, I go I have fun. I’m not a drag.

There’s lots of things I don’t particularly love that I do.

I hate birthday too by the way. You were born congratulations I don’t need to give you a gift every year because of it.

My cousin had the best wedding by having really good food. So that's my advice, spring for the really good food, people will remember that over flowers or anything similar.

I think I might enjoy going to a complete stranger’s wedding. But as my nieces and nephews are starting to get married, the frenzy that family gets whipped up into is too
much. It causes me major anxiety in the weeks leading up.

Anonymous wrote:Np, I dislike weddings and would be willing to double the amount of the gift if I don't have to attend and not feel guilty about it. I didn't have a wedding and find them dreadfully boring. I also don't want to attend your baby shower/gender reveal.

Same

Np, I dislike weddings and would be willing to double the amount of the gift if I don't have to attend and not feel guilty about it. I didn't have a wedding and find them dreadfully boring. I also don't want to attend your baby shower/gender reveal.

Anonymous wrote:I like parties.

I decline to attend parties that don't sound like fun or are in some way insurmountably inconvenient.

What I don't understand is people who get all up in arms about parties that don't cater to them. No-kids wedding and you don't want to get a sitter? Far away destination you're not interested in? Stupid precious dress code? That's what the "declines with regret" box is for.

This is me. I love celebrating my family. If it's too far or too expensive, I decline and send $$$. I know planning is stressful and its impossible to please everyone, so I can't imagine criticizing people's decisions. If it doesn't work for me, I don't go, no hard feelings.

Anonymous wrote:Recently I was thinking it’s more fun to put the outfit together than attending the party.

I concur.

Recently I was thinking it’s more fun to put the outfit together than attending the party.

I like parties.

I decline to attend parties that don't sound like fun or are in some way insurmountably inconvenient.

What I don't understand is people who get all up in arms about parties that don't cater to them. No-kids wedding and you don't want to get a sitter? Far away destination you're not interested in? Stupid precious dress code? That's what the "declines with regret" box is for.

I do. And you sound like a drag.

Between the Destination Wedding and the No Kids Invited threads, there are so many complaints about how expensive weddings are, the dress code, and even critiquing the registry or lack thereof. I know I have complained about attending Nov weddings and having it be outdoors (lunacy!) as well as the cost to fly there and gift. Who even enjoys these weddings anymore??