Anonymous
05/27/2025 17:41
Subject: Re:Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Anonymous wrote:Op/ Thanks for advice. Have had discussions and another one today. Idk know why her parents don't care but he is allowed to sleep over there. I've reiterated that is Not OK as I think you should pay rent if you sleep somewhere. If he decides he wants to do that, he's old enough to do so.
I have a college student with a BF and am having similar thoughts about the summer. Not about rent, but the BF’s parents don’t seem to have the same boundaries we do. DD thinks we are not understanding of their deep love.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 17:41
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Anonymous wrote:What do you all do about schedules and having friends/SOs over? We work and need to get up. Kids work in the afternoons fwiw.
The issue is college age DS' GF of 6 mos (from the same town) is over ALL the time. While she's pleasant and they're mostly quiet, except for last night's shuffling around at 4am, we would like our house back. She is a year older, not in college and doesn't have much going on which is another issue.
We don't allow sleepovers since I don't want another person in my house in the mornings and request that they leave/come home around 1 or 2am. They forgot again and slept over.
What's a reasonable compromise?
I allowed sleepovers (DS and his boyfriend both eighteen and HS graduates), but only once per week. I would rather have DS on a strict curfew the other 6 nights with one sleepover night. It felt safer to give him a night to relax with his boyfriend and enforce more strict rules the rest of the time. They're quiet and respectful though.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 17:35
Subject: Re:Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Anonymous wrote:Op/ Thanks for advice. Have had discussions and another one today. Idk know why her parents don't care but he is allowed to sleep over there. I've reiterated that is Not OK as I think you should pay rent if you sleep somewhere. If he decides he wants to do that, he's old enough to do so.
I think that part is a little weird. Personally I do let ds sleep at his girlfriend's house sometimes: I don't want him on the roads in the middle of the night. It wouldn't occur to me to think it equals living somewhere and paying rent! But you need to be clear about noise. It's also weird she is hanging out at your house a lot without ds there and you should establish that boundary.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 17:28
Subject: Re:Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Anonymous wrote:Op/ Thanks for advice. Have had discussions and another one today. Idk know why her parents don't care but he is allowed to sleep over there. I've reiterated that is Not OK as I think you should pay rent if you sleep somewhere. If he decides he wants to do that, he's old enough to do so.
Are you paying for college? If so, kids should abide by your rules.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 17:14
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Kids aren't that old yet, but I expect I'll have a firm 11 pm curfew, which means they are home by 11 while living at my house, and they can't have guests over after 11 pm while living at my house.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 17:07
Subject: Re:Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Op/ Thanks for advice. Have had discussions and another one today. Idk know why her parents don't care but he is allowed to sleep over there. I've reiterated that is Not OK as I think you should pay rent if you sleep somewhere. If he decides he wants to do that, he's old enough to do so.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 16:25
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
You & your spouse need to have a convo with your son on that 1/2am time request.
If not, they need to hang out wherever she lives.
If not, they need to hang out wherever she lives.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 15:42
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
You need to enforce your house rules. They can spend time elsewhere.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 15:38
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
A college-age child should not be ‘forgetting’ the household rules, especially if the household rule is as significant as ‘no sleepovers’. I’m not sure what time you go to bed, but since the child is living at home, I’d want guests out around my bedtime, so 10 PM or so.
Do the GF’s parents care if she is out and about at 4 AM? Also seems odd.
Do the GF’s parents care if she is out and about at 4 AM? Also seems odd.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 14:08
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
They r interrupting your sleep. Time for a schedule. Everyone out by 10 PM on weekdays and a few hours later on weekends.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 14:03
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Tell him you don’t want to hear them scream at 4 am and she can’t come over anymore.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 13:52
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Set some alarms so they're constantly accidentally triggering them. Should be embarrassing.
Or just have a talk with your adult child and tell them "Guests must leave by x time."
I'm not sure they "forgot". More like they postcoitally dozed off.
Or just have a talk with your adult child and tell them "Guests must leave by x time."
I'm not sure they "forgot". More like they postcoitally dozed off.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 13:38
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
Get a trained guard dog and let it roam the house at night.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 13:16
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
When you hear them roaming about, turn on the lights and act all upset because they woke you up.
Anonymous
05/27/2025 13:00
Subject: Handling college age kids' friends/SO
What do you all do about schedules and having friends/SOs over? We work and need to get up. Kids work in the afternoons fwiw.
The issue is college age DS' GF of 6 mos (from the same town) is over ALL the time. While she's pleasant and they're mostly quiet, except for last night's shuffling around at 4am, we would like our house back. She is a year older, not in college and doesn't have much going on which is another issue.
We don't allow sleepovers since I don't want another person in my house in the mornings and request that they leave/come home around 1 or 2am. They forgot again and slept over.
What's a reasonable compromise?
The issue is college age DS' GF of 6 mos (from the same town) is over ALL the time. While she's pleasant and they're mostly quiet, except for last night's shuffling around at 4am, we would like our house back. She is a year older, not in college and doesn't have much going on which is another issue.
We don't allow sleepovers since I don't want another person in my house in the mornings and request that they leave/come home around 1 or 2am. They forgot again and slept over.
What's a reasonable compromise?