Anonymous wrote:Message in public.
Hey - Lara needs help. I can step in Tuesday - can anyone help out on other days?

Nope! Why would OP have to do that?

Be polite and friendly when you see her next. You are helping her, just not in the exact way she’s outlined for you. Your plans matter too.

OP, what makes you think the SAHM wants to be someone else's child care rescue more than you do?

Yes, all of the other moms will be rooting for you. Keep firm with no shame.

Send her a link to white house nannies.

Wow the entitlement with her!!!!! I would take a very unfriendly approach if she starts something when you see her. You were very patient and polite.

Message in public.
Hey - Lara needs help. I can step in Tuesday - can anyone help out on other days?

Anonymous wrote:You seem to be doing a good job handling it the way you want to. If she brings it up again, you simply repeat yourself. Again. This may alter your relationship with her which is sad but it is what it is.

+1

I have a lot of empathy as a working parent with no relatives close by to help. We have a nanny, but when she gets sick it’s always a scramble. Sometimes you just need to take time off work or rotate with your spouse or ask friends if they have any babysitter recs.

Definitely tell this mom less in the future. She’s probably very stressed and frustrated with her circumstances and taking it out on you.

Someone in a bind is trying to claw their way out. It’s perfectly fine for you to decline, and they should stop asking/drop it. But try to be understanding. The friendship probably won’t survive this, so just keep your powder dry. You can stop responding to texts about it.

I’m sorry, OP. That’s a tough spot to be in and she sounds very…unpleasant. I think you stay firm no, I’m sorry but I cannot take your son at that time. But yeah, like PP said, you definitely gave the moms too much info and unfortunately this one mom took advantage. I do this too. I’m an oversharer 😂 but some parents will use you if you let them and this mom seems like one of those parents. Stay strong and don’t give in to her.

You seem to be doing a good job handling it the way you want to. If she brings it up again, you simply repeat yourself. Again. This may alter your relationship with her which is sad but it is what it is.

She sounds unhinged, OP. Stay firm. The other parents don't want to get in the middle of this mess, but are probably rooting for you.

You gave her too much information, so try not to do that again. Just continue to say no. "I need this time alone with my child, and I will not be changing my mind about that. Please stop asking."

Next week is my kindergarteners last week of school, which includes two full days and two half days. There is a group of us who casually chat at pickup. Weeks ago I mentioned that I had gotten the week off from work, and I was happy because we leave for a vacation that Saturday and I could pack Monday and Tuesday and was planning some special fun afternoons after school with DS for the half days. He usually goes with his grandparents on half days, so it would be a treat for both of us.

On Monday one of the moms texted me asking if I could take her son after school until 5:30pm on Tu, Wed, and Th, because her childcare fell through and she would be at a satellite office that week. I explained that I’d be happy to help on Tuesday, but reminded her about my plans with my son on Wed and Thur. I saw her at pickup yesterday and she practically BEGGED me to please include her son, that she was desperate. None of the other parents jumped in to help, not even the SAHM, and she didn’t ask them to help, either. I apologized, reconfirmed that I could help Tuesday, and left. She later texted me and her tone had noticeably changed because she tried to tell me “all” I was doing was activities with my son and he would appreciate having a friend along. I once again told her I couldn’t help.

I know I’ll see her today, and I have no clue what to say to shut this down without appearing cold to the other moms and without making things totally awkward going forward.