Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gotta tell us what the ask is

I really can’t bc it’s too specific but it involves a very long drive and time away all bc they realized after the fact they can’t take care of it themselves. I could fix the problem but they have alternative ways to deal with it as well they don’t want to explore bc involving me would be less stressful to them. If I say no this will have repercussions for me and the person will remember and hold it against me.

Sounds like the person asked you to drive up to their summer cabin and turn the hose off.

No. I will say it’s a nearly 8 hour round trip.

Then say no and let the friendship die.

Anonymous wrote:I cut people off when they start a rude request or rude question with "I probably shouldn't ask but..."

I say "stop. don't ask then. and certainly don't preface your ask with asking me to bless it. No."

"to be honest" also irks me to no end. So I'm supposed to believe you usually are not honest, so you need to preface it this one time that you are?!?

I have a similar region to “I love you, but xxx.”

You can say no to people. People who ask for too much are doing it because they think you are an easy ask, a pushover. When you said no, you made the person upset, because they thought it was in the bag. You turned out to be harder than they thought, not a pushover. Good for you.

It never bothers me when someone asks, especially when they are in a bind. But to get annoyed when someone says no is ridiculous

Are you doing something for their aging parent? Closing up a vacation house? Taking their DC to summer camp? Picking up a car and driving it back home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gotta tell us what the ask is

I really can’t bc it’s too specific but it involves a very long drive and time away all bc they realized after the fact they can’t take care of it themselves. I could fix the problem but they have alternative ways to deal with it as well they don’t want to explore bc involving me would be less stressful to them. If I say no this will have repercussions for me and the person will remember and hold it against me.

Sounds like the person asked you to drive up to their summer cabin and turn the hose off.

No. I will say it’s a nearly 8 hour round trip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gotta tell us what the ask is

+1 This is a nationwide, anonymous forum, OP. If you want quality responses, you must provide some detail.

I’d rather not bc the person in question might be here. It is a really big ask.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gotta tell us what the ask is

I really can’t bc it’s too specific but it involves a very long drive and time away all bc they realized after the fact they can’t take care of it themselves. I could fix the problem but they have alternative ways to deal with it as well they don’t want to explore bc involving me would be less stressful to them. If I say no this will have repercussions for me and the person will remember and hold it against me.

Sounds like the person asked you to drive up to their summer cabin and turn the hose off.

Anonymous wrote:You gotta tell us what the ask is

+1 This is a nationwide, anonymous forum, OP. If you want quality responses, you must provide some detail.

Anonymous wrote:You gotta tell us what the ask is

I really can’t bc it’s too specific but it involves a very long drive and time away all bc they realized after the fact they can’t take care of it themselves. I could fix the problem but they have alternative ways to deal with it as well they don’t want to explore bc involving me would be less stressful to them. If I say no this will have repercussions for me and the person will remember and hold it against me.

You gotta tell us what the ask is

Anonymous wrote:Don't feel bad. they have bad form. Oh well

I feel bad and surprised: this is a person I might need to deal with for many years and who has always been very nice. I know they are asking out of desperation but I am actually dealing with the same situation and foresaw the issue and made arrangements. This person did not and now wants me to fix their issue.

I cut people off when they start a rude request or rude question with "I probably shouldn't ask but..."

I say "stop. don't ask then. and certainly don't preface your ask with asking me to bless it. No."

"to be honest" also irks me to no end. So I'm supposed to believe you usually are not honest, so you need to preface it this one time that you are?!?

Don't feel bad. they have bad form. Oh well

Why do they do it? This person is in a big bind but the favor is a lot to ask. I was cornered and did not say yes and now they are pissed. This is the sort of thing I’d never ask of someone.