Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 17:24     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:stay in rec- she's still really young and I think at this age, it's best to play rec and get touches in. when/if she ever gets super motivated to play at a higher level, have her attend some of the trainings around DMV (there are tons, look at IG) and have her build the confidence and skills first.

my DD played rec (on a boys team though, there wasn't a girl rec team near our house at the time) until 4th grade and moved onto travel. for us, she had to prove to us that she was willing to put in the work ONLY if she wanted to do travel (we were fine with doing rec... I played D1 and I know what that soccer life can be like). in the middle of her 3rd grade, she got to 200 juggling record on her own. that was her way to proving to us that she will put in the work and wanted to move up to travel.



A girl playing rec with boys is basically already playing travel, just saving some money. Even before puberty, the mediocre boys play much harder. And as a lone girl on a boys team, she was already playing without girl friends from school, which would demonstrate a true enjoyment of the game to me if she was enjoying a boys league. 200 juggles for a 3rd grader would have put her so far beyond the best jugglers on the best travel teams by me at that age that it basically seems cruel that you let her get that far while still staying "no" to travel.

OP - do not expect almost any travel girls to enjoy a boys rec league and make 200 juggles by 3rd grade. This is more for the girls who are already talking about what colleges they want to try to play at.


a girl playing on a boys team in REC is not equal to travel, at least in our case. she could have played on another girls team for a different club but i wasn't willing to drive more than 15 minutes from my house when she was so young. and if my DD got to 200 juggles on her own is considered cruel while we waited until she got into a travel club, you must out of your mind.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 16:54     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Knowing what you know now... what do you recommend?

My 1st grade DD currently plays rec and is on a team with a lot of friends from school. Half of her team tried out for different travel clubs and it sounds like most have made it. DD isn't really ready for travel (IMO), she likes playing but doesn't seen as motivated as some of her peers, but now she's pretty bummed her current team is being disbanded and keeps asking is she can try out too. My gut it telling me to find another rec team and do one more year on rec -- but my only worry is she will fall significantly behind those on travel. And I over thinking this? Do you recommend jumping to travel as early as possible.. or does 2nd grade vs 3rd grade really matter? (what about for a kid that will likely always be middle of the pack skill wise ?).



She will fall behind, plain and simple. At 2nd/3rd grade though, she will still be able to make the B team at a decent club. She may just start out closer to the bottom of the team later. So although she may be behind, she won't be iced out of travel soccer completely at that age. By about 5th/6th grade, she may be iced out of even B teams. If she aspires to ever make a decent club's A team, starting late will definitely make that harder.

B teams have lots of less motivated kids, so long as your kid does like the sport enough to enjoy extra practices. If she doesn't really want to be there, and becomes disruptive at practices because of it, that's not fair to the other kids, and the coach will be very frustrated.

If you have a decent club nearby home, and you don't mind potentially wasting $2-3k, this sounds like you should give it a try.


Thank you for the actual honest response. You will fall behind, it will depend on her natural talent if she can make that up, but it gets harder every year. It's not drastic at her age, but it compounds over time.


It doesn't matter if she "falls behind" at this age. The ground is easily made up by motivation within the next few years. But if she joins a travel team because her friends are doing it and then realized she's not passionate about soccer, it's going to be no fun for anyone. Friends is a bad reason to join a travel team. Passion and motivation to perform are the only reasons and if she has that, she will close any potential skill gap really quickly.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 16:19     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Knowing what you know now... what do you recommend?

My 1st grade DD currently plays rec and is on a team with a lot of friends from school. Half of her team tried out for different travel clubs and it sounds like most have made it. DD isn't really ready for travel (IMO), she likes playing but doesn't seen as motivated as some of her peers, but now she's pretty bummed her current team is being disbanded and keeps asking is she can try out too. My gut it telling me to find another rec team and do one more year on rec -- but my only worry is she will fall significantly behind those on travel. And I over thinking this? Do you recommend jumping to travel as early as possible.. or does 2nd grade vs 3rd grade really matter? (what about for a kid that will likely always be middle of the pack skill wise ?).



She will fall behind, plain and simple. At 2nd/3rd grade though, she will still be able to make the B team at a decent club. She may just start out closer to the bottom of the team later. So although she may be behind, she won't be iced out of travel soccer completely at that age. By about 5th/6th grade, she may be iced out of even B teams. If she aspires to ever make a decent club's A team, starting late will definitely make that harder.

B teams have lots of less motivated kids, so long as your kid does like the sport enough to enjoy extra practices. If she doesn't really want to be there, and becomes disruptive at practices because of it, that's not fair to the other kids, and the coach will be very frustrated.

If you have a decent club nearby home, and you don't mind potentially wasting $2-3k, this sounds like you should give it a try.


Thank you for the actual honest response. You will fall behind, it will depend on her natural talent if she can make that up, but it gets harder every year. It's not drastic at her age, but it compounds over time.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 16:15     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Anonymous wrote:stay in rec- she's still really young and I think at this age, it's best to play rec and get touches in. when/if she ever gets super motivated to play at a higher level, have her attend some of the trainings around DMV (there are tons, look at IG) and have her build the confidence and skills first.

my DD played rec (on a boys team though, there wasn't a girl rec team near our house at the time) until 4th grade and moved onto travel. for us, she had to prove to us that she was willing to put in the work ONLY if she wanted to do travel (we were fine with doing rec... I played D1 and I know what that soccer life can be like). in the middle of her 3rd grade, she got to 200 juggling record on her own. that was her way to proving to us that she will put in the work and wanted to move up to travel.



A girl playing rec with boys is basically already playing travel, just saving some money. Even before puberty, the mediocre boys play much harder. And as a lone girl on a boys team, she was already playing without girl friends from school, which would demonstrate a true enjoyment of the game to me if she was enjoying a boys league. 200 juggles for a 3rd grader would have put her so far beyond the best jugglers on the best travel teams by me at that age that it basically seems cruel that you let her get that far while still staying "no" to travel.

OP - do not expect almost any travel girls to enjoy a boys rec league and make 200 juggles by 3rd grade. This is more for the girls who are already talking about what colleges they want to try to play at.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 16:12     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Keep her in rec. Play a different sport every season. My son played rec up until 5th grade. He also played a fall and winter sport. Once he reached middle school, he joined a travel team and his skill level is about the same as everybody else. At that age, just focus on having fun and developing athleticism by playing multiple sports.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 16:04     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Anonymous wrote:Knowing what you know now... what do you recommend?

My 1st grade DD currently plays rec and is on a team with a lot of friends from school. Half of her team tried out for different travel clubs and it sounds like most have made it. DD isn't really ready for travel (IMO), she likes playing but doesn't seen as motivated as some of her peers, but now she's pretty bummed her current team is being disbanded and keeps asking is she can try out too. My gut it telling me to find another rec team and do one more year on rec -- but my only worry is she will fall significantly behind those on travel. And I over thinking this? Do you recommend jumping to travel as early as possible.. or does 2nd grade vs 3rd grade really matter? (what about for a kid that will likely always be middle of the pack skill wise ?).



She will fall behind, plain and simple. At 2nd/3rd grade though, she will still be able to make the B team at a decent club. She may just start out closer to the bottom of the team later. So although she may be behind, she won't be iced out of travel soccer completely at that age. By about 5th/6th grade, she may be iced out of even B teams. If she aspires to ever make a decent club's A team, starting late will definitely make that harder.

B teams have lots of less motivated kids, so long as your kid does like the sport enough to enjoy extra practices. If she doesn't really want to be there, and becomes disruptive at practices because of it, that's not fair to the other kids, and the coach will be very frustrated.

If you have a decent club nearby home, and you don't mind potentially wasting $2-3k, this sounds like you should give it a try.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 15:52     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Anonymous wrote:A lot of rec leagues have supplemental skills clinic type things one day per week during the rec season. If not ready for full travel I recommend rec with a more structured supplement and see if that improves skill/ is enjoyable.


+1 we tried this with DS in 2nd grade. His dislike of it and aversion to adding more soccer practices to the week made it really clear that travel soccer was not for him. He continued to play rec into middle school with a good group of friends.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 15:48     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
stay in rec- she's still really young and I think at this age, it's best to play rec and get touches in. when/if she ever gets super motivated to play at a higher level, have her attend some of the trainings around DMV (there are tons, look at IG) and have her build the confidence and skills first.

my DD played rec (on a boys team though, there wasn't a girl rec team near our house at the time) until 4th grade and moved onto travel. for us, she had to prove to us that she was willing to put in the work ONLY if she wanted to do travel (we were fine with doing rec... I played D1 and I know what that soccer life can be like). in the middle of her 3rd grade, she got to 200 juggling record on her own. that was her way to proving to us that she will put in the work and wanted to move up to travel.

Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 15:35     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
She doesn't need to be on the travel team, and if she is not self motivated by a passion for soccer, putting her on these teams early will back fire. It's generally a bad idea to follow friends to travel. The friendships probably won't last. The biggest indicator of if a child should move from rec is if they want more time playing soccer and they want to be become a better player on their own. I wouldn't move a kid who isn't willing to practice on their own, outside of 3 or 4 formal team practices/games per week. Meaning the two days she's home, does she ask to kick the ball around? If no, rec is fine.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 15:04     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Anonymous wrote:Knowing what you know now... what do you recommend?

My 1st grade DD currently plays rec and is on a team with a lot of friends from school. Half of her team tried out for different travel clubs and it sounds like most have made it. DD isn't really ready for travel (IMO), she likes playing but doesn't seen as motivated as some of her peers, but now she's pretty bummed her current team is being disbanded and keeps asking is she can try out too. My gut it telling me to find another rec team and do one more year on rec -- but my only worry is she will fall significantly behind those on travel. And I over thinking this? Do you recommend jumping to travel as early as possible.. or does 2nd grade vs 3rd grade really matter? (what about for a kid that will likely always be middle of the pack skill wise ?).


Travel soccer teams don't start until U9 which I think is 3rd grade. And really, it's not until 11v11 starts in 6th grade that you need to worry about falling behind. Starting travel in 4th or 5th grade will be fine, maybe do some extra skills clinics or a week of summer soccer camps along the way. You can also have her watch some soccer games especially in person. Go check out some high school games in your town, watch the Spirit on TV. Gaining an understanding of the rules and love for the game is important.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 14:47     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
A lot of rec leagues have supplemental skills clinic type things one day per week during the rec season. If not ready for full travel I recommend rec with a more structured supplement and see if that improves skill/ is enjoyable.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 14:44     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
You do not need to worry about "falling behind."

The main reason for switching from rec to travel for us was that my kids wanted formal practice more than once a week....
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 14:37     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
There is no rush to join travel, but, try to find time to work with her yourself on basic skills like passing and receiving, dribbling, and shooting. Since she's young, disguise it with fun activities.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 14:33     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Our DD was in a similar scenario years ago. We stayed rec, joining travel two years later than everyone and she’s the only one still playing travel at a high level after two more years. I don’t recommend going to travel just to keep up with what everyone else is doing. If she’s still challenged at rec, then I recommend keeping her there until she outgrows it.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 14:24     Subject: travel or stay in rec?
Knowing what you know now... what do you recommend?

My 1st grade DD currently plays rec and is on a team with a lot of friends from school. Half of her team tried out for different travel clubs and it sounds like most have made it. DD isn't really ready for travel (IMO), she likes playing but doesn't seen as motivated as some of her peers, but now she's pretty bummed her current team is being disbanded and keeps asking is she can try out too. My gut it telling me to find another rec team and do one more year on rec -- but my only worry is she will fall significantly behind those on travel. And I over thinking this? Do you recommend jumping to travel as early as possible.. or does 2nd grade vs 3rd grade really matter? (what about for a kid that will likely always be middle of the pack skill wise ?).