Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for the responses!
To clarify, I’m not talking about planning a destination vacation. More something along the lines of us visiting them. In-laws live a couple hours from my side (both are a full day drive/plane ride from where we live) so would make sense to coordinate a visit to them right before or right after our visit with my side. Dates for visit to my side are solidified. DH has the dates and I’ve asked him to ask his side if they’re available at either end of our planned trip. And… nothing.
I realllllyyy don’t want to make this road trip twice in one summer to make sure his side gets equal time. It’s happened before.
Anonymous wrote:Let it go. Your husband and his parents either prioritize this or not. I have never picked up the rope with my husband’s family even though I like them a lot. Your husband is a competent human and so are they.
And don’t do the same road trip twice. If that happens, tell your husband to take the kids without you. They will either have a blast or your husband will never make this mistake again. You never know.
Anonymous wrote:I’ve only once gone on vacation with my inlaws, not because I don’t like them, but because no one plans and it’s like herding cats.
So don’t plan, and don’t go.
Anonymous wrote:Give them equal time. The when and what don't need to be decided. The equal time, though, needs to happen.
Anonymous wrote:Yep. Just got a looooong email from SIL saying she felt overwhelmed about being the point person for finding the rental for an extended family get together with different priorities and budgets and maybe we just shouldn't do it.
I mean, maybe not? We are one of the families with lower budgets and fewer people. I suggested some more rustic and affordable options back in January and oldest SIL immediately shot them down. We also said we'd be fine staying in a nearby campground and visiting during the day if our needs were too far apart. I am usually the super advance planner but I don't really feel the desire to do the legwork, AND the prepayment, for my husband's giant family.
So yeah, I hear what you're saying, but I'd let it lie. You can't care more than everyone else if it's actually important to them.