Anonymous wrote:When is beach week? Is it the same for most local school, or does it vary?

Varies. Week after graduation, so through middle/end of June.

OP, if your child has not had much unsupervised freedom yet, I wouldn't let them go. If they haven't already had to navigate pressures at parties, and figured out how to make wise choices in the face of peer pressure, now is not the time.

I've unfortunately had to navigate that with my son throughout high school. And now he makes good choices. Doesn't mean he's fool proof. He's still only 18. But that type of partying peer pressure isn't new.

I think for kids who haven't had much exposure, unsupervised beach week is overwhelming and could be quite dangerous. I often tell my son about my friend who "woke up in the back of a van where she lost her virginity." It was only decades later that consent even crossed my mind. The real story was likely much worse.

The hookup culture is prevalent in some teen circles. Your kid should know having sex with anyone who's intoxicated is illegal. They can't consent.

My son is not going. But I would have let him. At this point, I feel like he would make (mostly) good choices. But I did not and would not rent a place for him. I would not help pay for him to go in on a place with friends.

He does have use of a car and I would have let him drive to the beach to stay with friends, because he has already demonstrated that he won't drink and drive and in fact has been his friends' sober driver on occasion (they still should have called me but I take small victories where I can).

He's a very strong swimmer and surfer and knows not to swim intoxicated. But I think nonconsensual sex, non consensual video of pretty much anything and everything, drunken walks across roads, insane speeding, drunk driving, unknown drugs, and having money stolen are the biggest risks.

You know your kid best. Are they ready for that at their current level of maturity?

So OP did you rent the beach week place in your name and will not be there? So in violation of rental agreement? On your credit card and you know there will be alcohol and that they will buy it underage? My tip is let you know that no insurance will cover you if something goes wrong- you are knowingly, willfully and intentionally negligent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My rule is simple. No HS student in my house is ever going on a free unsupervised vacation to drink themselves silly (and other things) with other kids, not on my time or my watch or my nickel. Parents who help their kids do this (because parents have to sign rental contracts and charge hotel rooms) are just trying to look cool in front of other adults by putting their own kids in reality-TV situations. I'd love to know what is defensible about this entire thing.

Your tone is judgmental, but I share the general sentiment. Not sure why parents would condone and finance these trips if they expect their kids to drink, etc.

+1. My rule is "you aren't going."

Save it for college and on your dime.

Anonymous wrote:My rule is simple. No HS student in my house is ever going on a free unsupervised vacation to drink themselves silly (and other things) with other kids, not on my time or my watch or my nickel. Parents who help their kids do this (because parents have to sign rental contracts and charge hotel rooms) are just trying to look cool in front of other adults by putting their own kids in reality-TV situations. I'd love to know what is defensible about this entire thing.

Your tone is judgmental, but I share the general sentiment. Not sure why parents would condone and finance these trips if they expect their kids to drink, etc.

My rule is simple. No HS student in my house is ever going on a free unsupervised vacation to drink themselves silly (and other things) with other kids, not on my time or my watch or my nickel. Parents who help their kids do this (because parents have to sign rental contracts and charge hotel rooms) are just trying to look cool in front of other adults by putting their own kids in reality-TV situations. I'd love to know what is defensible about this entire thing.

Anonymous wrote:Rules!! hahaha
Don't let Beach Week happen if you have the delusion that Your Rules are going to matter.

How about instead you don't arrange beach week.

I’m under no illusions that 17-18 year olds will blindly adhere to a set of rules. I view it more as a discussion where we brainstorm a variety of ways to handle different scenarios. It’s not so much that they must do as I say as it is a thought exercise, so they’re not caught off guard in the moment by something they’ve never considered. It’s like a cautionary tale: I survived beach week, but here’s all the ways things could have turned out badly because of stupid choices my friends and I made; learn from our mistakes.

Rules!! hahaha
Don't let Beach Week happen if you have the delusion that Your Rules are going to matter.

How about instead you don't arrange beach week.

When is beach week? Is it the same for most local school, or does it vary?

Anonymous wrote:If you had a teen that went to beach week, did you and the other parents discuss the rules? We don't feel comfortable buying alcohol for our kids but we know they will purchase. We have a strict policy that we're not allowing them to host any parties and they said they didn't want too anyway. I've communicated about a buddy system and no swimming while intoxicated. Any other suggestions if your DC went to beach week?

RED FLAG.

Did you really mean to type this this way?

Your kid is going to do whatever they want, including swimming while intoxicated if they want to, because you exude permissive parenting.

Anonymous wrote:Who knows if kids will actually follow the rules, but we emphasized the buddy system during the day and having a group after dark — no one or two girls getting separated from the pack. If somebody doesn’t feel well and wants to go back to her room, several people should escort her all the way back, even if they aren’t going to stay home with her. Girls are supposed to keep an eye on each other’s drinks (not just alcoholic beverages).

You could have them sign a contract to follow the rules.

Problem solved!

Anonymous wrote:If you had a teen that went to beach week, did you and the other parents discuss the rules? We don't feel comfortable buying alcohol for our kids but we know they will purchase. We have a strict policy that we're not allowing them to host any parties and they said they didn't want too anyway. I've communicated about a buddy system and no swimming while intoxicated. Any other suggestions if your DC went to beach week?

Oh, you're one of those parents who doesn't "feel comfortable" buying alcohol for their minor child, even though it is illegal.

Nice that you are concerned about your own kid following your silly, kindergarten-level rules.

Who knows if kids will actually follow the rules, but we emphasized the buddy system during the day and having a group after dark — no one or two girls getting separated from the pack. If somebody doesn’t feel well and wants to go back to her room, several people should escort her all the way back, even if they aren’t going to stay home with her. Girls are supposed to keep an eye on each other’s drinks (not just alcoholic beverages).

I allowed him to drive to beach week, but emphasized that he was NOT to drink and drive. No one else was allowed to drive his car.

This is the kid who got up each morning at 7 am and went to the gym at beach week, so he was a little different! (I could actually see this on Life360 and one morning he sent me a picture in front of the gym.)

If you had a teen that went to beach week, did you and the other parents discuss the rules? We don't feel comfortable buying alcohol for our kids but we know they will purchase. We have a strict policy that we're not allowing them to host any parties and they said they didn't want too anyway. I've communicated about a buddy system and no swimming while intoxicated. Any other suggestions if your DC went to beach week?