Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

I tell my teens a week or two exactly what I want and keep it super simple (card, join me on a walk, piece of dessert - but only one thing) This year I reminded my 17 yo on Sunday who did none of things, but later did one in the afternoon.

I’m not a good gift giver and it’s taken a lot of work. I’m trying to train them to be better than me. And I see making sure they remember these holidays, birthdays, etc as part of my job to teach them to be better.

Anonymous wrote:I think it would have been on your dh to remind tbh. Teens can definitely be self-involved but chances are now yours feels bad about not doing anything.

Yeah...as the husband I always text my kids 48 hours in advance of Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, birthday. My wife does the same in reverse.

They always respond "I know!"...but better safe than sorry.

Set expectations.

I don’t want cards so I don’t get them.

I expect my son to go to a grocery store and get flowers and/or spend time with me. If it’s nice I expect them to go for a hike or help me in my garden.

My other son lives away so he will call. For my birthday he sent Uber eats sushi which I appreciate since it was a Wednesday and I celebrated my birthday on a Saturday.

I like spending time together and don’t care about gifts.

My kids know this because I tell them

Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Anonymous wrote:Tell me this is normal. My husband sent flowers and made dinner reservations for the 3 of us, but for the first time ever my 15 year old didn't even make me a card. Is this normal self-absorbed teen behavior?

My 17 year old DD did not either. Either 14 yo sister made me a beautiful handmade card. They went with my husband (at his suggestion) to get my gift. My 17 yo is a strong student and very stressed with AP tests right now, so I don't really take it personally. She's also just always been less lovey dovey than the other one. She's a great kid though.

Making a card is pretty little kid-ish OP. Let them evolve. Is he a good kid who is nice to you most of the time and you enjoy his company?

I take mother's day as an opportunity to tell my kids how lucky I am to be their mom. To me, the day is a chance to reflect on being a mom not just about people telling me how great I am or doing things for me. Not trying to sound above it all, but it works for me so just sharing. I am super grateful I am a mom to great kids (now teens) who I enjoy being around most of the time.

Make you a card? They’re 15, not 5. Get over yourself. You got dinner out for a dumb made up holiday.

I have a 15 year old son. I got a hug and a sincere happy mother's day and I love you and we all had dinner together (with other siblings) at home and had a nice time. Worked for me. I tend to think having expectations about what you want/are going to get never end well.

Total normal. Please don’t make them feel bad.

Anonymous wrote:Tell me this is normal. My husband sent flowers and made dinner reservations for the 3 of us, but for the first time ever my 15 year old didn't even make me a card. Is this normal self-absorbed teen behavior?

Yes, it's normal. I might be a tad annoyed at my husband that he didn't remind my teen. I also would never expect my husband to send me flowers--I'm not his mother. But I also know that people view that differently.

I think it would have been on your dh to remind tbh. Teens can definitely be self-involved but chances are now yours feels bad about not doing anything.

My teen and young adult didn't either. One of them is neurodivergent and usually forgets, the other usually remembers. The one who usually remembers had her first AP exam and just wasn't thinking about anything else.

It's OK. I don't make a big deal out of Mother's or Father's Day. I know they love me, OP

Was he nice to you at dinner? My teens didn't make me cards. But they went hiking with me and my husband and then went out to lunch with us. It was lovely.

Tell me this is normal. My husband sent flowers and made dinner reservations for the 3 of us, but for the first time ever my 15 year old didn't even make me a card. Is this normal self-absorbed teen behavior?