Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 16:16     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
Do what is best for your kid and family. Remember, that universities are doing what's best for them. Don't hold both spots open until mid August, but don't rush the decision.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 15:50     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
For all Duke knows, your kid just got off another wait list.

Just make the decision and move on. What you don't want to do is hold only two deposits for more than a few days.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 14:44     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
It is four years of the kids life at a very important point in individualizing. Have them go where they want to go. I would guess to decline call the number on any document that was sent after putting in a deposit and ask them what to do to decline the spot.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 14:40     Subject: Re:Declining a college after accepting....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Assuming that your child has not yet declined their OOS state school offer? It's bad form, but sure they can decline Duke if they want. The spot will go to someone else on the waitlist. You might want to check if they've already told their guidance counselor/high school about accepting Duke. Some high schools have policies about backing out of a waitlist offer you've already accepted since the high school ends up being blacklisted by admissions, which can affect acceptances for future classes.


If your child doesn't want to go to Duke for four years of their life, don't send them to Duke because of a high school "policy." FFS.


It seems like OP’s kid is indecisive. Life’s about making decisions and sticking with them. The world would an incredibly chaotic place if we all decided to switch horses mid-race.


give me a break, the colleges play games with the waitlisted kids. i would not feel bad about the kid bailing on Duke


This.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 12:30     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
There are no consequences; the wait lists at these schools are full of great kids; they just go to the next one. Don't overthink this. Wait lists move literally until August. You are going to make some other kid's day when they get the call from Duke! Only consequence is that after you've declined the duke waitlist there's no going back.

The only way you really burn a bridge between the college and the HS is if you weasel your way out of an ED choice. Wait list is totally different situation.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 12:21     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
How is Duke playing games with their waitlist? They gave OP’s DD a spot and she had a deadline to accept it. She took it.

OP, it will be fine if she declines. Just want to know why PP thinks Duke was “playing games.”
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 11:57     Subject: Re:Declining a college after accepting....
Anonymous wrote:Assuming that your child has not yet declined their OOS state school offer? It's bad form, but sure they can decline Duke if they want. The spot will go to someone else on the waitlist. You might want to check if they've already told their guidance counselor/high school about accepting Duke. Some high schools have policies about backing out of a waitlist offer you've already accepted since the high school ends up being blacklisted by admissions, which can affect acceptances for future classes.


Haha what the eff is this? Do you think someone from admissions from Duke is going to have some sort of grudge list, as if the university put a ton of resources into courting the kid? They're just a row on a spreadsheet and they'll be thrilled some other kid will be admitted who really wanted to be there. Thank u next
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 11:52     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
Anonymous wrote:DC got off the waitlist at Duke and accepted it because they did not give enough time to decide. DC originally accepted OOS state school before May 1st. But now DC is having second thoughts and wants to decline Duke and keep original OOS state school. Are there any consequences if DC declines Duke after accepting?


So you currently have paid the enrollment deposit at two schools?
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 11:46     Subject: Re:Declining a college after accepting....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Assuming that your child has not yet declined their OOS state school offer? It's bad form, but sure they can decline Duke if they want. The spot will go to someone else on the waitlist. You might want to check if they've already told their guidance counselor/high school about accepting Duke. Some high schools have policies about backing out of a waitlist offer you've already accepted since the high school ends up being blacklisted by admissions, which can affect acceptances for future classes.


If your child doesn't want to go to Duke for four years of their life, don't send them to Duke because of a high school "policy." FFS.


It seems like OP’s kid is indecisive. Life’s about making decisions and sticking with them. The world would an incredibly chaotic place if we all decided to switch horses mid-race.


give me a break, the colleges play games with the waitlisted kids. i would not feel bad about the kid bailing on Duke
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 11:41     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
Go with Duke
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 11:29     Subject: Re:Declining a college after accepting....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Assuming that your child has not yet declined their OOS state school offer? It's bad form, but sure they can decline Duke if they want. The spot will go to someone else on the waitlist. You might want to check if they've already told their guidance counselor/high school about accepting Duke. Some high schools have policies about backing out of a waitlist offer you've already accepted since the high school ends up being blacklisted by admissions, which can affect acceptances for future classes.


If your child doesn't want to go to Duke for four years of their life, don't send them to Duke because of a high school "policy." FFS.


It seems like OP’s kid is indecisive. Life’s about making decisions and sticking with them. The world would an incredibly chaotic place if we all decided to switch horses mid-race.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 11:20     Subject: Re:Declining a college after accepting....
Anonymous wrote:Assuming that your child has not yet declined their OOS state school offer? It's bad form, but sure they can decline Duke if they want. The spot will go to someone else on the waitlist. You might want to check if they've already told their guidance counselor/high school about accepting Duke. Some high schools have policies about backing out of a waitlist offer you've already accepted since the high school ends up being blacklisted by admissions, which can affect acceptances for future classes.


If your child doesn't want to go to Duke for four years of their life, don't send them to Duke because of a high school "policy." FFS.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 11:17     Subject: Re:Declining a college after accepting....
Assuming that your child has not yet declined their OOS state school offer? It's bad form, but sure they can decline Duke if they want. The spot will go to someone else on the waitlist. You might want to check if they've already told their guidance counselor/high school about accepting Duke. Some high schools have policies about backing out of a waitlist offer you've already accepted since the high school ends up being blacklisted by admissions, which can affect acceptances for future classes.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 10:22     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
Not, it's not ED just like you were going to decline the OOS state school.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 10:19     Subject: Declining a college after accepting....
DC got off the waitlist at Duke and accepted it because they did not give enough time to decide. DC originally accepted OOS state school before May 1st. But now DC is having second thoughts and wants to decline Duke and keep original OOS state school. Are there any consequences if DC declines Duke after accepting?