Communicate your feelings—no silent treatment

Wanting the best for each other

Being silly/goofy/having fun

Equitable division of labor

Not really an answer, but we just have a connection. We met at 20 and have been through a lot. Our families kind of suck (we're both the oldest and parentified), so we've only had each other. We went through very dark years and a few sexless ones, but we both just knew it would be ok. We're happier than we've ever been now, 25 years

Married almost 30 years with 3DC-adults.

Honestly, not taking things so seriously and laughing together. I recently called my DH at work and made him laugh so hard he cried and had to hang up - that kind of laughter.

Good communication.

My culture and religion. The people who surround me. Divorce, DV and cheating is very rare in my circle.

Mostly college STEM educated people - both men and women. High earners.

Loving your kids.

No addiction, abuse, adultry.

All of the above. Matched sex drives. Not having been sluts before...because that makes you a bitter person with low level of trust in others.

Therapy.

Common goals. No bean counting. Mutual respect for one another. Financial security. Low drama families of origin.

Desire of both parties to stay married long-term and a willingness to compromise often. Having each other's back. Wanting the best for the other person.

Agreed. Marry a good person, and you must be a good person, as well.

Talk, compromise, have common goals. When you grow and change, work to grow and change together.

At the end of the day, I think for long-term marriage to work you have to WANT to stay married and do the work to make the marriage work.

Low expectations? This isn't a knock against DH, I just grew up in a lower socioeconomic class so the kinds of conflicts and issues that we navigate in our marriage seem so small compared to the kinds of things my parents had to navigate in my childhood.

DH is reliable, yet flexible, and has excellent executive functioning. Also our kids are easy, and no eldercare pressure yet.

I’m in a somewhat happy marriage although we definitely have our low points.

I married the nice guy. DH is kind, patient and kind. He is also handsome, smart, well liked by all, very successful and a fantastic father and person.

I think the key is to marry a good person.

Thank you