Any way you could start trying to get yourself on Hawaii time the week leading up to Sat? It’s hard to adjust to that all at once esp for so short a trip

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re looking at this trip with sadness over DD’s graduation rather than the length of the trip. You’re focusing on the idea that it’s the last big travel opportunity with your daughter but that’s not necessarily true. Lots of families continue to travel together even after graduation. Trips with young adult kids are great and you’re not stuck with traveling on the K-12 school schedule. It’s great!

Agree. We just did a bucket list vacation with our late 20s/early 30s kids. We do a trip at least once a year. It’s expensive but fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

This is such great life advice for really anything. Thank you to this person. A positive mindset and gratitude is key.

You’re welcome! It’s taken me decades to work on this. I didn’t have an easy childhood and while I have a wonderful family now, we aren’t wealthy and do a lot more than I did as a child, but am surrounded by families who have the means to do more. I have been jealous in the past and I realize it’s been a waste of my time and energy. So I’ve had to adopt this asset based mindset and it’s helped me through many many difficult issues. I’m not always positive, but I usually can flip it back so I don’t dig myself deep, if that makes sense Hope this is helpful to you!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

We have, but we are usually able to incorporate the first and last days into the vacation, which we can’t here—we are also traveling very far (Hawaii) and I can’t stop thinking that by the time we wake up on Sunday, unpack, we will be doing it all over again in reverse by Thursday night. I’m not trying to sound entitled and I realize my privilege is showing, but we aren’t “rich” and we saved to take this trip.

I’m feeling a lot of things, it’s our last “big” trip with DD potentially, we spent a ton of money to get here and I want to feel we did everything while also wanting to make sure we relaxed. I think it’s the distance that is making me wish we had more time, I don’t know. But I do appreciate your advice. I will work on changing my mindset right now.

It’s ok, I understand. I’m not rich either and Hawaii is a bucket list dream for me, so I would probably be sad if I had a short time, too.

It sounds like you have good intentions to have a positive mindset. It’s also okay to have negative feelings, acknowledge them, and see if you can just push through. With the graduation you have a lot of big things happening. Sending you a virtual hug from an internet stranger! I hope the trip goes well and you enjoy the time with your family

Thanks so much! I hope you get there one day and check it off your bucket list!

Thank you! I hope so, too!! Working hard to make it happen 😊

I think you’re looking at this trip with sadness over DD’s graduation rather than the length of the trip. You’re focusing on the idea that it’s the last big travel opportunity with your daughter but that’s not necessarily true. Lots of families continue to travel together even after graduation. Trips with young adult kids are great and you’re not stuck with traveling on the K-12 school schedule. It’s great!

I’d reframe this as “we have five full days to enjoy our dream location.” To me - that’s not short! You can do so much (or relax completely!) in five days.

Plus, if you work 9-5 jobs, you’ll have 2 full weekend days to relax back into real life when you return.

I’ve done two vacations with this structure recently and love it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

We have, but we are usually able to incorporate the first and last days into the vacation, which we can’t here—we are also traveling very far (Hawaii) and I can’t stop thinking that by the time we wake up on Sunday, unpack, we will be doing it all over again in reverse by Thursday night. I’m not trying to sound entitled and I realize my privilege is showing, but we aren’t “rich” and we saved to take this trip.

I’m feeling a lot of things, it’s our last “big” trip with DD potentially, we spent a ton of money to get here and I want to feel we did everything while also wanting to make sure we relaxed. I think it’s the distance that is making me wish we had more time, I don’t know. But I do appreciate your advice. I will work on changing my mindset right now.

To be fair that is a very long way to go for not very long! You're not wrong to worry about these things! Are you planning to sightsee while you're there or mostly just lounge around together?

Mostly just lounge around. We will have a car and have something planned for 3/5 days, where we will drive out in the morning and then have the late afternoon-evening with no plans. It doesn’t feel like too much, I don’t think.

That sounds lovely. I think you're going to have such a nice time.

For me, I always enjoy something more when I lower my expectations, honestly! If I can just imagine that I'll have a nice time with my family for a few days - but it doesn't have to be the Biggest Most important Trip - I am almost guaranteed to really enjoy it. All you need to do is fine one little thing to enjoy in a day and outside of that, read a book with your family on the lanai or whatever. Eat some good food and take a nap.

But I sense melancholy in your post and I get that. I was just at my parents' for a week and on day two I was already feeling sad about leaving them. I guess I'd try to remember that you feel this way because you're doing things with people you love and your time with them matters to you - and I'm sure you have mixed feelings about your kid growing up, too! Don't fight those feelings, maybe - they mean you care, you love, this matters to you. You did a good job - you got your kid to this point, you got your finances to where you could make this trip, and now of course you have the joy of accomplishment and the sadness of what's next. We all fear the future a bit, and maybe you are feeling like after this trip, the future with your kid is with her as an adult, and there's some apprehension about what that looks like.

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

This is such great life advice for really anything. Thank you to this person. A positive mindset and gratitude is key.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

We have, but we are usually able to incorporate the first and last days into the vacation, which we can’t here—we are also traveling very far (Hawaii) and I can’t stop thinking that by the time we wake up on Sunday, unpack, we will be doing it all over again in reverse by Thursday night. I’m not trying to sound entitled and I realize my privilege is showing, but we aren’t “rich” and we saved to take this trip.

I’m feeling a lot of things, it’s our last “big” trip with DD potentially, we spent a ton of money to get here and I want to feel we did everything while also wanting to make sure we relaxed. I think it’s the distance that is making me wish we had more time, I don’t know. But I do appreciate your advice. I will work on changing my mindset right now.

It’s ok, I understand. I’m not rich either and Hawaii is a bucket list dream for me, so I would probably be sad if I had a short time, too.

It sounds like you have good intentions to have a positive mindset. It’s also okay to have negative feelings, acknowledge them, and see if you can just push through. With the graduation you have a lot of big things happening. Sending you a virtual hug from an internet stranger! I hope the trip goes well and you enjoy the time with your family

Thanks so much! I hope you get there one day and check it off your bucket list!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

We have, but we are usually able to incorporate the first and last days into the vacation, which we can’t here—we are also traveling very far (Hawaii) and I can’t stop thinking that by the time we wake up on Sunday, unpack, we will be doing it all over again in reverse by Thursday night. I’m not trying to sound entitled and I realize my privilege is showing, but we aren’t “rich” and we saved to take this trip.

I’m feeling a lot of things, it’s our last “big” trip with DD potentially, we spent a ton of money to get here and I want to feel we did everything while also wanting to make sure we relaxed. I think it’s the distance that is making me wish we had more time, I don’t know. But I do appreciate your advice. I will work on changing my mindset right now.

To be fair that is a very long way to go for not very long! You're not wrong to worry about these things! Are you planning to sightsee while you're there or mostly just lounge around together?

Mostly just lounge around. We will have a car and have something planned for 3/5 days, where we will drive out in the morning and then have the late afternoon-evening with no plans. It doesn’t feel like too much, I don’t think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

We have, but we are usually able to incorporate the first and last days into the vacation, which we can’t here—we are also traveling very far (Hawaii) and I can’t stop thinking that by the time we wake up on Sunday, unpack, we will be doing it all over again in reverse by Thursday night. I’m not trying to sound entitled and I realize my privilege is showing, but we aren’t “rich” and we saved to take this trip.

I’m feeling a lot of things, it’s our last “big” trip with DD potentially, we spent a ton of money to get here and I want to feel we did everything while also wanting to make sure we relaxed. I think it’s the distance that is making me wish we had more time, I don’t know. But I do appreciate your advice. I will work on changing my mindset right now.

It’s ok, I understand. I’m not rich either and Hawaii is a bucket list dream for me, so I would probably be sad if I had a short time, too.

It sounds like you have good intentions to have a positive mindset. It’s also okay to have negative feelings, acknowledge them, and see if you can just push through. With the graduation you have a lot of big things happening. Sending you a virtual hug from an internet stranger! I hope the trip goes well and you enjoy the time with your family

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

We have, but we are usually able to incorporate the first and last days into the vacation, which we can’t here—we are also traveling very far (Hawaii) and I can’t stop thinking that by the time we wake up on Sunday, unpack, we will be doing it all over again in reverse by Thursday night. I’m not trying to sound entitled and I realize my privilege is showing, but we aren’t “rich” and we saved to take this trip.

I’m feeling a lot of things, it’s our last “big” trip with DD potentially, we spent a ton of money to get here and I want to feel we did everything while also wanting to make sure we relaxed. I think it’s the distance that is making me wish we had more time, I don’t know. But I do appreciate your advice. I will work on changing my mindset right now.

To be fair that is a very long way to go for not very long! You're not wrong to worry about these things! Are you planning to sightsee while you're there or mostly just lounge around together?

Anonymous wrote:Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

We have, but we are usually able to incorporate the first and last days into the vacation, which we can’t here—we are also traveling very far (Hawaii) and I can’t stop thinking that by the time we wake up on Sunday, unpack, we will be doing it all over again in reverse by Thursday night. I’m not trying to sound entitled and I realize my privilege is showing, but we aren’t “rich” and we saved to take this trip.

I’m feeling a lot of things, it’s our last “big” trip with DD potentially, we spent a ton of money to get here and I want to feel we did everything while also wanting to make sure we relaxed. I think it’s the distance that is making me wish we had more time, I don’t know. But I do appreciate your advice. I will work on changing my mindset right now.

Have you not taken short vacations before? Then consider yourself lucky

You’re already operating in a deficit mindset. Poor me, we don’t have as much time as I want, we only have one activity a day planned. You need to go in with an asset-based mindset. Even if you don’t believe yourself at first you have to think/say the positive/grateful thoughts. You can actually change your mindset this way if you’re open to it.

“We get to celebrate the milestone of our daughter’s graduation! So proud of her!”

“We get to go on this exciting vacation!”

“We get to have relaxing time AND have planned events every day.”

“We get to spend time as a family”

“We get to have….” (Now it’s your turn to fill in the blanks)

Anytime you have a “we only have” or “I wish we had” thought—acknowledge it and say BUT we also…. (And fill in a thought like the ones above)

We’re taking a special trip soon to celebrate our daughter’s graduation—something we’ve saved for and are really looking forward to. It’s a bit more expensive than our usual vacations, so we could only swing five full days. We arrive late the first night (Saturday) and leave early on the last day (Friday.)

We have one activity planned each afternoon, but otherwise, it’s intentionally relaxed. Still, I’m already feeling a bit sad knowing how quickly it will go by. I don’t want to spend the trip mourning that it’s short—I want to be present and enjoy it fully.

Have any of you found ways to savor a short vacation and keep those “it’s almost over” thoughts at bay?