OP here. Thanks all. 8th grade, 2011 birth year. Rather not be geographically specific.

IME sometimes it isn’t a true skill regression but is instead playing down to teammates’ level, and poor team culture as you have described creates a lack of motivation (“we are just going to lose anyway? so who cares”) or (“I’m going to be starting shortstop regardless, there isn’t anyone else…so why do I need to work on my hitting? ”) or whatever. Whether that is right or wrong, it is often how this type of team works out. It isn’t a good situation to be in at all.

Was there feedback last summer about why she didn’t make the other teams? Or do you suspect what the reason might’ve been? I’d put her in private lessons to address her worst skill deficiency (and/or to enhance her strongest attribute) and tryout for other teams again this summer. She sounds frustrated, and feels motivated not to move back to rec, so I’d continue to support her in that for now- as long as she is genuinely willing to put in the work and it isn’t a financial hardship in any way.

Also keep an ear out for any subbing opportunities and take her to as many tryouts as she is willing to do. Join whatever your local softball page is (usually on Facebook) if you have not already. Often it is easier to nab a roster spot on newer teams as opposed to well established teams, as you probably know.

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8th grader playing rec, and there are a few girls who play both rec and travel in the league. All of them get along well from my observation.

As the girls get older, the rec teams tend to be strong ime. These are girls who love softball and have stuck with it a long time. I think many would make travel but do other things as well (other sports, theatre, whatever).

Many also play rec+ games, summer leagues, etc.

This is all to say - rec at the older ages is not picking daisies in the outfield. Not as intense as travel, less consistent pitching, but lots of growth and fun.

+1

My DD played Rec through 8th grade (would’ve made JV at her HS but chose to focus year round on a different sport) and the quality was pretty decent actually. Many lower level travel teams played in the league (played as a team) as well, for extra reps. Pitching quality was inconsistent, yes.

I missed the age of OP’s DD (if it was stated) but my advice to OP is it all depends on your area, quality of rec league, and her intended high school. If you are looking that far forward. Absent additional information, I’d drop to a rec league and take some private lessons (use the $ you have been spending on travel) and reevaluate in a year.

Which high school?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am firmly in the camp that travel is only a worthwhile expense for kids that are good enough for college recruitment (at all levels).

Unfortunately, there are high school teams that also run travel programs...so I get having to spend some $$$s in this situation, even though it kind of sucks. Luckily, this doesn't apply to your daughter.

I would look at this as a great opportunity to easily explain to your kid why travel doesn't make any sense, especially when it will have no impact on playing in high school.

She is now free to play a different Fall sport and/or get involved in the myriad non-sport HS activities.

I disagree. I seriously doubt my 13-year-old will play in college but she loves her softball travel team. Rec is 2x a week for two seasons; her travel team plays 11 months of the year. But her situation is very different from OPs. She has gained a ton from her travel team, even if she never plays again after high school. OP doesnt.

+1 some situations make clubs very valuable to a developing person regardless of their college plans. This is a weird thing to say.

Anonymous wrote:I am firmly in the camp that travel is only a worthwhile expense for kids that are good enough for college recruitment (at all levels).

Unfortunately, there are high school teams that also run travel programs...so I get having to spend some $$$s in this situation, even though it kind of sucks. Luckily, this doesn't apply to your daughter.

I would look at this as a great opportunity to easily explain to your kid why travel doesn't make any sense, especially when it will have no impact on playing in high school.

She is now free to play a different Fall sport and/or get involved in the myriad non-sport HS activities.

I disagree. I seriously doubt my 13-year-old will play in college but she loves her softball travel team. Rec is 2x a week for two seasons; her travel team plays 11 months of the year. But her situation is very different from OPs. She has gained a ton from her travel team, even if she never plays again after high school. OP doesnt.

I am firmly in the camp that travel is only a worthwhile expense for kids that are good enough for college recruitment (at all levels).

Unfortunately, there are high school teams that also run travel programs...so I get having to spend some $$$s in this situation, even though it kind of sucks. Luckily, this doesn't apply to your daughter.

I would look at this as a great opportunity to easily explain to your kid why travel doesn't make any sense, especially when it will have no impact on playing in high school.

She is now free to play a different Fall sport and/or get involved in the myriad non-sport HS activities.

I would try out for other teams but not shoot too high. Like instead of trying out for B teams, try for higher C teams with winning records that maybe are planning to move toward B. How old is she? I myself have often wondered that is the point of a C team that is not any better than a rec team, but some get a lot out of it just in that they play more and playing the tournament format is fun and all of the girls are really committed versus what you often see in rec.

I have an 8th grader playing rec, and there are a few girls who play both rec and travel in the league. All of them get along well from my observation.

As the girls get older, the rec teams tend to be strong ime. These are girls who love softball and have stuck with it a long time. I think many would make travel but do other things as well (other sports, theatre, whatever).

Many also play rec+ games, summer leagues, etc.

This is all to say - rec at the older ages is not picking daisies in the outfield. Not as intense as travel, less consistent pitching, but lots of growth and fun.

So you have a snobby child who is a terrible softball player?

I’d move her back to rec and spend the $ you save on private lessons. Then try out for a better team in a year.

Anonymous wrote:I'm considering this myself. Going back to the multi-season rec thing. Off season AAU basketball is underwhelming. I get it kids do it to keep accumulating the skills and to gain exposure for recruiters, but it gets to be a drag. It's much more casual than you would otherwise think. More like showboating pickup games than real teams. The kids get to show off their skills, but the coaches don't do many drills to develop. Yes, many of those rec coaches are pretty good.

That would be very frustrating and make me want to stop with the AAU craziness. What made AAU worth it for us was the coaches’ commitment to my kid’s development, including challenging him to improve in ways that the HS coach didn’t bother with (e.g. making my tall lazy kid sprint all out on every drill in every practice or get benched, and making him drive to the basket instead of just hitting 3s).

If she complains about her teammate and coach and got more out of rec, that seems like a no-brainer. Lots of kids drop travel sports when they get to high school- homework/studying get more intense and they have to devote time to that. 3K a year is pricey to regress.

That said-- I think there's more to travel sports than winning: team spirit, learning to get along, to lose gracefully, to prioritize time, to putting in hard work, etc... but you can get much of that in rec too.

I'm considering this myself. Going back to the multi-season rec thing. Off season AAU basketball is underwhelming. I get it kids do it to keep accumulating the skills and to gain exposure for recruiters, but it gets to be a drag. It's much more casual than you would otherwise think. More like showboating pickup games than real teams. The kids get to show off their skills, but the coaches don't do many drills to develop. Yes, many of those rec coaches are pretty good.

DD plays softball and has played C level travel for the last two years. There have been two terrible consecutive coaches and the team is terrible (has won maybe 2-3 games total in two years, most girls don’t understand basic baserunning, can’t hit, mediocre at fielding.) I truly believe my child’s skills have regressed from when she was on rec with a better coach who actually taught them stuff. She tried out for some other travel teams last summer and didn’t make any. Her HS team is not that competitive so she will make it and she doesn’t want to play in college.

I’m thinking of telling her she has to go back to rec next year. She is going to disagree even though she constantly complains about her coach and most of her teammates. I think it’s pride for her/embarrassment to go back to rec. We can technically afford the travel but it feels like $3k down the drain for nothing, not to mention the hassle of the traveling. I am not even scratching the surface of the frustrations with this team.

Will she get over this? She is a smart kid with a bright academic future that will not involve softball beyond a fun adult league.

What say you DCUM? Is it okay?