Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So they can have official documentation to point to when they boot him out.

This will happen.

Don't private schools counsel kids out all the time? Do they really need a neuropsych for this? If anything it seems like it's the right next step to understand what supports the child needs and if the school can accommodate the child's needs.

Yes, they don’t need an excuse to counsel him out. They’re looking for an excuse to help him stay. If you don’t get it, you’ll likely be counseled out. If you do get it, your odds depend on what the testing says.

This was our experience. They wanted the neuropsych to justify and guide some supports, without which our child wasn't going to be able to continue. Annoyingly, we had asked for those supports prior to paying for the neuropsych to say the same thing. Process is costly, but that's what it was for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So they can have official documentation to point to when they boot him out.

This will happen.

Don't private schools counsel kids out all the time? Do they really need a neuropsych for this? If anything it seems like it's the right next step to understand what supports the child needs and if the school can accommodate the child's needs.

Yes, they don’t need an excuse to counsel him out. They’re looking for an excuse to help him stay. If you don’t get it, you’ll likely be counseled out. If you do get it, your odds depend on what the testing says.

Anonymous wrote:So they can have official documentation to point to when they boot him out.

This will happen.

This is obviously scary. Is your experience that this is across-the-board? Our Big 3 basically made tons of kids get neuropsych testing this year. They even sent out a list of approved doctors, which was...a bit much. Surely schools aren't just kicking out tons of kids?

Anonymous wrote:This is the reason 25% of boys have ADHD diagnoses.

What is your point here? That we should go back to putting our heads in the sand about how people's brains work? The hesitation anyone should have about better understanding and supporting their child is that they might get flagged on a "wellness camp" list by JFK Jr., on his eugenics nazi kick.

Anonymous wrote:So they can have official documentation to point to when they boot him out.

This will happen.

Don't private schools counsel kids out all the time? Do they really need a neuropsych for this? If anything it seems like it's the right next step to understand what supports the child needs and if the school can accommodate the child's needs.

Anonymous wrote:So they can have official documentation to point to when they boot him out.

This will happen.

Or make continued attendance conditional on taking meds.

So they can have official documentation to point to when they boot him out.

This will happen.

I can't speak to experience with a Big 3, but we have gone through the neuropsych process for a similarly aged child. We got an ASD diagnosis.I am really grateful for the teachers and professionals who shared their concerns with me.

It can be hard to know what to do when concerns are raised - we didn't take the initial concerns seriously enough.

But we are a year out from the neuropsych and 18 months out from starting services (long story but we started services before seeking the neuropsych) and DC is doing great in kindergarten. We know now that DC's brain does work differently from that of most other kids, but we are giving DC the support needed to be successful in a mainstream public school environment with minimal accommodations.

If it's helpful, the services we started ahead of the neuropsych were one hour of private OT per week with a therapist with extensive experience with autism, and a once weekly social skills class based on the Social Thinking curriculum.

By the time we started the neuropsych process we were thinking of stopping the services because DC was doing so well. The evaluator explained that DC was doing well because we had lucked out and found the right set of services to support DC (thanks to some very helpful advice we got). The neuropsych helped us understand that DC will need these supports long term.

Anonymous wrote:I would get the testing but not tell the school.

So that they can label the kid by his behavior (lazy, bad, bossy, whatever) instead of understanding why? How does that benefit the child? Clearly the school is noticing problems.

Anonymous wrote:If the question is, should you do it, absolutely, you should do it. They are looking out for your kid’s best interest, and they are experts who have supported hundreds of kids and you are not. If you’re afraid that they may learn a diagnosis along with you and that they will ask him to leave, I think that will happen if it’s going to happen regardless of whether you get the neuropsych. But if they know how to support him, they can do so much better.

There’s absolutely no downside to getting a neuropsych, in my opinion, other than the cost. I had my suspicions about my kid going in and learned a ton of things from the results that I didn’t even know, like that he was dyslexic and had legit memory issues. If I hadn’t learned that when he was in third grade, his life would be really different and probably a lot more of a struggle. He’s currently got a great tutor who knows how to help him and I don’t get as mad when he can’t remember things. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

So don’t be afraid. Don’t doubt them. Just sign up now because waiting lists are long.

+1M

I would get the testing but not tell the school.

Clearly the school is seeing behaviors that concern them. Those things are going to exist whether you get the neuropsych or not. So get the neuropsych and learn more about your child's strengths and challenges and how best to support them.

If your question is really, will my child be able to stay at the school, no one can answer that. There are kids with ADHD/autism at every school and there are kids with ADHD/autism who need more support than such a school can provide. You might not know the answer now, and that's ok. But getting more information via a neuropsych isn't going to change the answer.

This is the reason 25% of boys have ADHD diagnoses.

If the question is, should you do it, absolutely, you should do it. They are looking out for your kid’s best interest, and they are experts who have supported hundreds of kids and you are not. If you’re afraid that they may learn a diagnosis along with you and that they will ask him to leave, I think that will happen if it’s going to happen regardless of whether you get the neuropsych. But if they know how to support him, they can do so much better.

There’s absolutely no downside to getting a neuropsych, in my opinion, other than the cost. I had my suspicions about my kid going in and learned a ton of things from the results that I didn’t even know, like that he was dyslexic and had legit memory issues. If I hadn’t learned that when he was in third grade, his life would be really different and probably a lot more of a struggle. He’s currently got a great tutor who knows how to help him and I don’t get as mad when he can’t remember things. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

So don’t be afraid. Don’t doubt them. Just sign up now because waiting lists are long.

If your child was in the lower school at a Big 3 and got asked to do ADHD/ADOS/neuropsych testing, how did the process play out?

DC is in K at a Big 3 and in their first year. The preschool that they went to had reservations about DC attending, but didn’t explicitly say why. Fast forward to March and the school is recommending testing because our child seems inattentive and not tuned into the teacher or other students, which sometimes presents as DC doing whatever they went to do and teacher needing to redirect multiple times.