None of this is going to work..

Both your families seem toxic.

Dynamics guaranteed to repeat in the next generation in seems...

Both sets of parents sound like a nightmare, and are far too involved. You and fiancé are both old enough that this level of interference should not be an issue. You never should have involved them in wedding plans in the first place- at least not until your plans were roughly sketched out (time, date, general number of guests, venue etc).

I hope you are not planning to have kids. This will get so incredibly much worse if so.

Your post is confusing as written….

But your fiance needs to sit down and tell his mother something along the lines of “we love you, but the wedding plans have been made and will not be altered. It is unacceptable to speak to my future MIL in the manner you did” And he needs to mean it, and his mom needs to KNOW that he means it. Beyond that, if there is a bone that can be thrown to his mother about some unimportant-to-you detail, sure- give it to her, to keep the peace. Something small. But that’s it. If your fiancé is unable to do this- reconsider the marriage.

You also need to get your own mother under control. I suspect she also probably had a role in this, despite what you are saying.

You need to learn English. This is America.

Anonymous wrote:Your post makes you sound as unhinged as your fiancé's mother.

If what you are saying is true, you will have a long life (or short if you divorce) of dealing with these people. Your fiancé is used to this behavior, and I can't imagine he will ever stand up to his mother and she knows it.

I would not marry the guy.

My mom said don't make big permanent changes. Get an apt & see what happens

Anonymous wrote:Is your fiance sticking up for you? I hope he’s not justifying his mother’s crazy behaviours. As long as he’s 100% on your side, this can be worked out. If he is a mommas boy or tries to appease her over you, cancel the wedding immediately.

Yes, we also talked to his pastor who knows her well. He to by htb you have to respect her, but set hard boundaries. He is marrying us & will do some Bible quotes

Your post makes you sound as unhinged as your fiancé's mother.

If what you are saying is true, you will have a long life (or short if you divorce) of dealing with these people. Your fiancé is used to this behavior, and I can't imagine he will ever stand up to his mother and she knows it.

I would not marry the guy.

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares. Tell your therapist.

Only updated you because people asked me to in original post. His mom is sick & if you can't see that, you must be crazy

Is your fiance sticking up for you? I hope he’s not justifying his mother’s crazy behaviours. As long as he’s 100% on your side, this can be worked out. If he is a mommas boy or tries to appease her over you, cancel the wedding immediately.

Op again, his mom got passes & kept interrupting my mom. My mom said, they ate gown adults, leave them alone HIs mom very religious, so my mom quotes Genesis with Leave & Cleave.(btwmy parents don't belong to any religion but were raised Catholic

Learn to write coherently and grow up.

Nobody cares. Tell your therapist.

Short recap-im 32F engaged to wonderful 36M. My parents wanted to pay for wedding (cultural issue not financial) Talked to htb, told him it's not going to work if his mama don't stop butting in.Orig his parents said they had 75 people & she NEEDED Aug wedding (monsoon season, Temps >125) . Asked her for list, she told us 45 people. Asked her for email & addr, she gave me 25 people NOT couples & incled my parents! me & htb picked 5/31 & sent out save the date.11 people on his side said they are excited & definitely coming. Then his mom calls my mom. Invites my parents to brunch.she told my parents she got save the date & wanted to contribute. My parents are calm & respectful. His mom starts with Aug wedding & jumps up at table & starts screaming at my mom. I actually thing she did not want to pay the bill. 1st time she has ever invited my parents anywhere & said, "my treat". Oh & she is going to buy a bag of Jordan almonds & put them in gauze bags. My mom jumps up when his mom lunges toward her & bangs her foot.Fractured foot bone, dr bills & med equipment & drugs, over $1k so far. My parents say, F them find someone else, they are mental. I decided I want htb & we went to marriage counseling. So wedding will be May. Mom says keep $$ separate & see what happens.