True friends and close family: I quit long ago because my father died from alcoholism- related dementia.

Acquaintances and most everyone else:

I’ve grown intolerant of even the smallest amount of alcohol- it triggers migraines and anxiety. No, thanks.

“I just don’t feel great when I drink anymore.”

Totally not a big deal. No one cares.

(The truth: I take a prescription drug for severe peripheral nerve pain and cannot have alcohol. I’m very private, and only a couple of friends know this.)

Anonymous wrote:“I am going to have a sparkling water because I gave up drinking.”

I think this is best.

To my friends I was a fun drinker that liked to tie one (well, many) on. The truth was that I had a drinking problem. Putting it out there front and center has been best for me.

My boss (male) used to be all about cocktails. He no longer drinks because he started to have trouble sleeping when he drank. The office went out for farewell drinks for a colleague who was moving, and our boss was just very upfront about drinking being more trouble than enjoyment anymore.

“I am going to have a sparkling water because I gave up drinking.”

As a male I still feel ashamed/pressured/self conscious years after I stopped. They have much better non alc beers that really help diminish the “fake” beer stigma. But after a time or two my good friends say nothing. I’ve still got jokes and I always chip in on the bill regardless. The more I get hung up on it, the fewer events I say yes to. Your friends love ya - enjoy their company.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this just isn't a big deal. So over these threads.

Then why are you lurking in them?

Yeah, this just isn't a big deal. So over these threads.

Mocking friend: "Not up to drinking these days, Larla? Age catching up to you?"

You (big smile): "Yup, it's not working for me these days."

And then you change the conversation and ignore the ribbing.

"Oh, just water for me" or "Actually, do you have a Sprite?"
Most people aren't rude enough to press but if they do I just say I don't feel good when I drink. I might make a joke about getting old. It's not that uncommon, IME.

Do you seriously need advice on this?

None for me, I stopped drinking.

Just say it up front...thing I have said:

I'm not drinking anymore since I realized I can't metabolize it well anymore

Im taking a break from drinking to focus on my health, but I love a good mocktail!

I quit drinking because it makes me feel like sh-t the next day.

thats what I say. It's no big deal at all.

No big a-ha moment or disaster; it just isn't working for me anymore - messy sleep, hangovers, empty calories, not worth it.
I have some friends who love their cocktails and dinner parties with wine courses. They're good friends - I don't worry about feeling judged so much as sort of being a wet blanket...and also I don't want to play coy and claim some excuse. Anyone who's BTDT, how did you "come out" as a non-drinker to friends?