OP if you read this again, did you and family move? To where did you end up? Has it been "better" there for your kid than it was in Fairfax county?

We are relocating from Fairfax county to the Penninsula area, looking at areas between Menlo Park and Los Gatos. We have a child in full-time AAP and is thriving. Are there schools with similar programs (thinking GATE) in any of these cities? We are ruling out Palo Alto due to pressure cooker environment. Any recs would be greatly appreciated!