It depends, but read this to get an idea of how depraved hazing can be:

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2025/04/06/dartmouth-college-fraternity-culture-student-death/

At many colleges, Greek life is not a major component. Usually schools in cities, where you don't need Greek life to have a social life

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. DS does not like drinking, hates the test. He doesn’t like moronic destructive behavior. He is very social and popular at school. He’s worried about feeling left out in college by Greek life but also wants to avoid it.

Don't know what you mean about "the test". First Gen? Doesn't sound like you really know how social life works in college. Plenty of schools aren't Greek dependent.

Usually the only social life you miss out on by not being in a frat is frat life. If you don't want that, then you aren't missing anything. No one in my family has ever been in Greek life and we all had great college experiences with lifelong friends.

Anonymous wrote:I was talking to a Big 10 head coach of a non revenue sport. A friend.

He convinced his AD to prohibit membership in a frat or sorority. Not just for scholarship athletes but for all team members.

I told him my experience was that certain of my D1 teammates were not mature enough to handle the distractions of a frat, both athletically and academically, and that it is possible to to treat the matter on a case by case basis.He disagrees as the potential for misbehavior and scandal he thinks is too great. Since the way to succeed in non revenue sports is to avoid being seen or heard for the wrong reasons, I can see his perspective.

My teammates did not prosper in frats, save for a walk on from another sport who became an All American. With the rest, their athletic performances degraded substantially and so did their grades. If you were on scholarship, you were a state champion or better, meaning performance levels with no improvement in the top 10 in the conference as a freshman. It was distressing to see performance levels degrade to 9th grade levels, and academic and career choices suffer.

I was glad I steered clear. It was the last thing I needed as an immature kid. The self esteem of my frat teammates seemed very bound up in being in a frat, though, so it was their North Star.

Eli Manning was in a fraternity at Ole Miss and went on to win two Super Bowls. Sounds like your teammates simply weren't mature or committed enough to be D1 athletes.

I was talking to a Big 10 head coach of a non revenue sport. A friend.

He convinced his AD to prohibit membership in a frat or sorority. Not just for scholarship athletes but for all team members.

I told him my experience was that certain of my D1 teammates were not mature enough to handle the distractions of a frat, both athletically and academically, and that it is possible to to treat the matter on a case by case basis.He disagrees as the potential for misbehavior and scandal he thinks is too great. Since the way to succeed in non revenue sports is to avoid being seen or heard for the wrong reasons, I can see his perspective.

My teammates did not prosper in frats, save for a walk on from another sport who became an All American. With the rest, their athletic performances degraded substantially and so did their grades. If you were on scholarship, you were a state champion or better, meaning performance levels with no improvement in the top 10 in the conference as a freshman. It was distressing to see performance levels degrade to 9th grade levels, and academic and career choices suffer.

I was glad I steered clear. It was the last thing I needed as an immature kid. The self esteem of my frat teammates seemed very bound up in being in a frat, though, so it was their North Star.

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. DS does not like drinking, hates the test. He doesn’t like moronic destructive behavior. He is very social and popular at school. He’s worried about feeling left out in college by Greek life but also wants to avoid it.

He will be left out. Drink or out

My non-drinking son went where Greek life is not a big presence on campus. He plays club sports and has a very active social and academic life w/out it

You don’t have to be a drinker, but frats are a waste of time and money. Put the effort into studying and internship.

Depends on the fraternity. I know a kid who rarely drinks and was the president of his.

Some folks act like their frats don’t stink

Not crazy about frats. There may be some benefits, but I feel the negatives outweigh the benefits.

The stereotype of fraternities as nonstop, destructive drinking dens comes from movies like Animal House and Van Wilder, plus the occasional news story that highlights the worst outliers. Those stories aren’t the norm, they're the exception.

Most top-tier fraternities have a mix of non-drinkers, light drinkers, moderate drinkers, and yes, the occasional program drinker, but the same breakdown exists among GDIs. You get to decide which group you're in. And I've never seen a quality fraternity where non-drinkers weren’t represented and respected.

Avoiding Greek life because you’re afraid it revolves around alcohol is misguided. You don’t have to change your drinking habits to join. But certain aspects of your life will definitely change. You’ll go from anonymous nobody to campus god. You'll go from reminiscing about high school to being part of a tight brotherhood that has your back for life. You'll go from relying on Indeed and career services to land an internship or job to having a lucrative network that will help you stack cheddar. You'll go from sitting in your dorm on Saturday nights to having access to the best parties. You'll go from having no dating life (because what sorority dime or high value woman on campus wants to be seen with a GDI?) to having your pick.

The alcohol is optional. The benefits aren’t.

Farts are a way of life. It may or may not smell bad. Drinking alcohol can lead to bad smelling farts, but if everyone is drinking maybe they wont mind?

Title says it all. DS does not like drinking, hates the test. He doesn’t like moronic destructive behavior. He is very social and popular at school. He’s worried about feeling left out in college by Greek life but also wants to avoid it.