My dd was not thrilled about the "best" school she got into which is a free ride, high rank...she just had it in her mind she would hate it. We visited again and she came around. Is she 100% in love? No. Is she rationally considering that this is going to be very good for her in terms of opportunities? Yes. And the deal was sweetened by excellent living conditions thanks to the low cost, plus ample ability for us to help her with whatever she decides to do during summers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue is so individualized that no one can give you advice but your DS has to think it through. Many kids choose community college for the first two years living at home then transfer to an in-state.

Community college would be the wisest option for most.

He’s well positioned to do this with a lot of AP and honors duel enrollment courses all straight As and 5s. He would only need a year and not even need to take a full load. He’s worried about being a transfer student as a junior and not making friends, being part of the community, clubs etc. He’s very tempted about saving the money with this path but then he thinks he’ll be lonely. If he just focuses on getting his degree and getting out, he’ll graduate college before he’s 21. He’s not a drinker but a worrier. He’s worried he’ll be too young to get impactful opportunities.

I think he’s right. I think he needs to visit his best options, pick one, and commit. Help out by buying the sweatshirt and providing some fanfare. Time to get emotionally invested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue is so individualized that no one can give you advice but your DS has to think it through. Many kids choose community college for the first two years living at home then transfer to an in-state.

Community college would be the wisest option for most.

He’s well positioned to do this with a lot of AP and honors duel enrollment courses all straight As and 5s. He would only need a year and not even need to take a full load. He’s worried about being a transfer student as a junior and not making friends, being part of the community, clubs etc. He’s very tempted about saving the money with this path but then he thinks he’ll be lonely. If he just focuses on getting his degree and getting out, he’ll graduate college before he’s 21. He’s not a drinker but a worrier. He’s worried he’ll be too young to get impactful opportunities.

If your DS is having dreams of serving the public, changing the world etc, prestige of his undergraduate matters much less. For law school, he has a lot of options that focus on public interest (that career pays very little). Kamala Harris went to UC Hastings which has a very strong public interest concentration.

But as some PPs mentioned, kids do change their minds in colleges so it's difficult to make decision based on his current dreams.

Welcome to adulthood. Sounds like he’s on the right track and thinking maturely about it. That said I went to my fifth choice…didn’t get into a couple and two didn’t give me aid. And it all worked out - life is long. Go in with a positive attitude, meet people, and work hard and it will be a positive experience. Imo we worship which college you went to too much in this area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue is so individualized that no one can give you advice but your DS has to think it through. Many kids choose community college for the first two years living at home then transfer to an in-state.

Community college would be the wisest option for most.

He’s well positioned to do this with a lot of AP and honors duel enrollment courses all straight As and 5s. He would only need a year and not even need to take a full load. He’s worried about being a transfer student as a junior and not making friends, being part of the community, clubs etc. He’s very tempted about saving the money with this path but then he thinks he’ll be lonely. If he just focuses on getting his degree and getting out, he’ll graduate college before he’s 21. He’s not a drinker but a worrier. He’s worried he’ll be too young to get impactful opportunities.

I was your son. I picked the state school over a SLAC and was glad I did. YMMV but state schools have a larger pool of students. It can actually be easier for a student to "find their people" at a large school than at a small college. Going to a college that won't put you in debt is liberating. If travel or research opportunities arise, he won't have to agonize over whether or not to take them. As PPs said, he should go over the pros and cons.

Anonymous wrote:DS is struggling with this now. He does not want to go into debt, especially for undergraduate school. He is high enough stat to get merit at some privates but it’s still way, way more than in state tuition. No financial aid. He really wants to use his college savings to pay for undergraduate and graduate school and then keep saving the money he earns working to help him launch after graduate school. He doesn’t want feel compelled to work in area of law with big bucks or use his Econ degree for finance. He has dreams of serving the public, changing the world etc.

He has gotten into a few fine schools but the location, student population, and overall vibe of those schools is getting him down.

LOL. That'll change when he sees the offers the econ majors in top tier fraternities are getting, and the foyine girls they're pulling.

Anonymous wrote:This issue is so individualized that no one can give you advice but your DS has to think it through. Many kids choose community college for the first two years living at home then transfer to an in-state.

And others' experience at community college, good or bad, is not directly applicable to your DS. No man ever steps in the same river twice, they have not experienced both to make a comparison. Every one fares differently from a same origin.

In my experience, almost all students find the college is not what they imagined. But it’s a means to an end, and teaches coping skills.

Anonymous wrote:No to community college have him go to school he likes that you can afford

+1 if you’re not eligible for financial aid, there must be some

No to community college have him go to school he likes that you can afford

There are pros and cons to every school. It does not need to be a love affair. If he hasn't gone through a pro and con list for each college, he should.

Anonymous wrote:This issue is so individualized that no one can give you advice but your DS has to think it through. Many kids choose community college for the first two years living at home then transfer to an in-state.

Community college would be the wisest option for most.

This issue is so individualized that no one can give you advice but your DS has to think it through. Many kids choose community college for the first two years living at home then transfer to an in-state.

DS is struggling with this now. He does not want to go into debt, especially for undergraduate school. He is high enough stat to get merit at some privates but it’s still way, way more than in state tuition. No financial aid. He really wants to use his college savings to pay for undergraduate and graduate school and then keep saving the money he earns working to help him launch after graduate school. He doesn’t want feel compelled to work in area of law with big bucks or use his Econ degree for finance. He has dreams of serving the public, changing the world etc.

He has gotten into a few fine schools but the location, student population, and overall vibe of those schools is getting him down.