Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say I’m clinically depressed or anything; I can snap out of it if/when I need to and “pretend”, but it’s like someone blew out my flame and my light has dimmed. Nothing is fun anymore. I have a really hard time finding joy in anything. I have a trip planned in a couple weeks and I can’t even find excitement for that. How do you find your sparkle again?

Get screened for depression. It’s very common for depressed people to “pretend” everything is fine while experiencing no joy in everyday activities. You’re describing clinical depression.

This. Meds and therapy can be really transformative.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone sparkling during a recent separation probably needs mental help or is a psychopath. Stop trying to please everyone. Life has seasons. Don’t avoid the sad ones.

What?? I was THRIVING on fricken cloud 9! I woke up every single day for months JAZZED AF that I was no longer living with an abusive narcissist. It was the most pure joy and freedom I have ever felt.

Anyone sparkling during a recent separation probably needs mental help or is a psychopath. Stop trying to please everyone. Life has seasons. Don’t avoid the sad ones.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say I’m clinically depressed or anything; I can snap out of it if/when I need to and “pretend”, but it’s like someone blew out my flame and my light has dimmed. Nothing is fun anymore. I have a really hard time finding joy in anything. I have a trip planned in a couple weeks and I can’t even find excitement for that. How do you find your sparkle again?

Hooking up with a random person.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say I’m clinically depressed or anything; I can snap out of it if/when I need to and “pretend”, but it’s like someone blew out my flame and my light has dimmed. Nothing is fun anymore. I have a really hard time finding joy in anything. I have a trip planned in a couple weeks and I can’t even find excitement for that. How do you find your sparkle again?

Get screened for depression. It’s very common for depressed people to “pretend” everything is fine while experiencing no joy in everyday activities. You’re describing clinical depression.

Anonymous wrote:Whose idea was it?

Ima guess hers. Men don’t suggest separation

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say I’m clinically depressed or anything; I can snap out of it if/when I need to and “pretend”, but it’s like someone blew out my flame and my light has dimmed. Nothing is fun anymore. I have a really hard time finding joy in anything. I have a trip planned in a couple weeks and I can’t even find excitement for that. How do you find your sparkle again?

Get laid with some strange

Words to live by:
The best way to get over a man is to get under another one.

Whose idea was it?

OMG, how many times are you going to post about losing your sparkle and shine? This is at least the third post.

If you are in a trial separation, it means you are in an ambiguous state and aren’t clear about the future. It would be hard for me to be fully emotionally healthy in such a circumstance. If you are heading for a divorce, then make that happen faster so you can get closure and start healing. If you think there is a chance of getting back together, make sure you are in therapy for yourself and in the meantime, do all the things that you like to do. Visit friends, eat at restaurants you like, watch whatever movies you want, make sure to get some exercise and fresh air, lean on friends and family, and try to get enough sleep.

Seek therapy and or time usually takes care of the rest.

When you look forward, what's the best-case scenario you are hoping for? From what I've read (in a similar situation), you start there. Then you figure out what you can control on the path to getting there. Then you start executing those controllables. That should give you something that should be a little cheery - taking each small step towards goals you're in control of.

For the trip, for example, can you find a way it adds to the life you want to build now? And then get excited about that?

Give yourself time and grace.

I wouldn’t say I’m clinically depressed or anything; I can snap out of it if/when I need to and “pretend”, but it’s like someone blew out my flame and my light has dimmed. Nothing is fun anymore. I have a really hard time finding joy in anything. I have a trip planned in a couple weeks and I can’t even find excitement for that. How do you find your sparkle again?