How do you know that the working parent won't see salary increases over the years, allowing the parents to at least fund in-state tuition?

I became a SAHM with the goal of eventually funding in-state college for the kids. DH's career ended up soaring and so they can go wherever they like.

What would your work schedule look like? Would you be home for dinners and the like? Would you have the flexibility to attend games?

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the kids, depends on the parents. Obviously.

I work a pretty low stress WFH job. That's been great for our family dynamic. I don't make a ton, but it's enough to put us into financial security. I am home when they get home from school, I can easily cover sick days or emergency pick ups. I can start dinner, get them to practice etc. We have always wanted to just live off my DH's salary and put mine away, but we've never quite made it. But we are investing more and more now that are child care costs have gone down as the kids get bigger. I think being financially secure ourselves is one of the biggest gifts we can give our children. I want to be able to help them get started, pay for college, offer some support, and still live our lives as we want as we look toward retirement.

Anonymous wrote:I decided on a fully funded college account, partially because my parents gave me one, and I felt obligated to pay it forward. I could see the argument in favor of a stay-at-home parent, too. It's personal and subjective. I funded their 529 plans directly out of my paycheck starting at birth at an aggressive rate, thinking I'd retire and stay home with them as soon as the 529 plans were fully funded, but now they're in school, and I like having my income to pay for great family vacations and the like. DH earns more than me, so that is why I consider my income toward less essentials like fully funded 529 plans or great family vacations.

I hope you are also stacking your own retirement accounts!

Our expenses went down and my husband’s got promoted when I stayed at home and he was able to have more flexibility with his work. It didn’t change the amount we could put in 529’s.

I did both, and I think working full time is best for all of us. And my kid gets college paid for. It's not the best for everyone though. Family dependent.

What's best for kids is stability, however you can manage it. Sometimes that means working, sometimes it means not working.

We did both (SAHP and funded 529). Our income grew (a lot) over those 18 years with kids. We were modest in our 529 contributions, knowing we'd likely be in a position to also pay as we go if needed, and still we ended up having more than enough. On top of that, this year's bonus alone could have covered most of our youngest's tuition, but he got merit awards, and we have a funded 529, so we don't need it for that. Our oldest also got merit awards and will graduate with a lot left over in the 529 for grad school if desired.

My point is, in making your decision, keep in mind that your family compensation will most likely grow over time. You can also decide as you go along and make changes to work/SAH as warranted.

As someone who only recently paid off the last of my student loans, I’d take the fully funded college. I don’t harbor a grudge, though; my parents did what they could. That didn’t involve paying for any of my education, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay home for 3 yrs, back to work for the other 15.

+1 best of both. Your kid will be thankful that they have a fully funded college account when they start picking which colleges to apply to. They won't remember (or care) that you were not home with them all day when they were 4 or 5.

They won't remember (or care) that you were not home with them all day when they were 1-3, either, by this logic.

Anonymous wrote:Stay home for 3 yrs, back to work for the other 15.

+1 best of both. Your kid will be thankful that they have a fully funded college account when they start picking which colleges to apply to. They won't remember (or care) that you were not home with them all day when they were 4 or 5.

My mother stayed at home and I hated it. I also worked 60 hours a week going to school at night part time. My good friend's mom worked and she hated that and was always lonely.

Stay home for 3 yrs, back to work for the other 15.

I decided on a fully funded college account, partially because my parents gave me one, and I felt obligated to pay it forward. I could see the argument in favor of a stay-at-home parent, too. It's personal and subjective. I funded their 529 plans directly out of my paycheck starting at birth at an aggressive rate, thinking I'd retire and stay home with them as soon as the 529 plans were fully funded, but now they're in school, and I like having my income to pay for great family vacations and the like. DH earns more than me, so that is why I consider my income toward less essentials like fully funded 529 plans or great family vacations.

Depends on the kids, depends on the parents. Obviously.

What is better for kids - having four years of college fully paid for by parents or having 16-18 years of an involved stay at home parent?