Are you okay, OP? I hope you are getting the help that you need.

-Wife who makes 3x as much as her husband.

Anonymous wrote:Oof thank God my marriage isn't like that. I get what you're saying, but I think if you're viewing your marriage like this, it's doomed.

Never say never

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason women feel this way deep in their bones, and it makes perfect sense and should never be questioned; the vast majority of men are not capable of being loving, respectful partners.

If a woman doesn’t insist on an “unfair” financial arrangement in marriage, she will have an “unfair” marriage in which she is exploited.

A lot of very beaten down women on this board who believed a lie about the hearts of men. Men aren’t bad, but they are terminally selfish, and if you as a woman are not benefiting from their selfishness indirectly (through their income), then you are almost certainly being exploited in marriage.

You want all the money but men are the ones that are selfish?

She doesn’t want all the money. She just doesn’t want poverty when he leaves and starts a new family when they’re both 46.

Sorry, this happens all the time.

Meh. Women initiate 3/4 of all divorces. So it's usually she doesn't want poverty when she decides he's emotionally unavailable or whatever and cheats and leaves. That's far more likely than the stereotype you're perpetuating.

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason women feel this way deep in their bones, and it makes perfect sense and should never be questioned; the vast majority of men are not capable of being loving, respectful partners.

If a woman doesn’t insist on an “unfair” financial arrangement in marriage, she will have an “unfair” marriage in which she is exploited.

A lot of very beaten down women on this board who believed a lie about the hearts of men. Men aren’t bad, but they are terminally selfish, and if you as a woman are not benefiting from their selfishness indirectly (through their income), then you are almost certainly being exploited in marriage.

Ironic post.

This post shows how dealing with women is like dealing with cinservatives. Every accusation is something that they are doing.

In this case she is accusing men of being selfish while being selfish about money.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t count on the “hearts of men” or even my own husband. I just make enough money to be financially ok no matter what happens in the future. We are much more comfortable with my DH’s high income and I think we have a good and healthy partnership and a secure and loving home for our children. But if things were to go south, I would be fine and my kids would be fine. Perhaps that is what you should plan to do rather than worry about men, selfish or not.

+1. Just focus on earning enough to maintain your lifestyle on your salary alone. Then hos money is extra and if it’s gone, it doesn’t make much difference.

I totally get what you’re saying OP. It’s really hard to explain to others without sounding selfish yourself, but the reality is that it’s true. You inevitably do so much more in the marriage and get so little back.

I don’t count on the “hearts of men” or even my own husband. I just make enough money to be financially ok no matter what happens in the future. We are much more comfortable with my DH’s high income and I think we have a good and healthy partnership and a secure and loving home for our children. But if things were to go south, I would be fine and my kids would be fine. Perhaps that is what you should plan to do rather than worry about men, selfish or not.

The reason my two partners were not loving at the end, was some kind of childhood trauma for one and ASD for the other. One never worked, so I had to keep him from taking me down financially. Luckily I walked away with only $45k in credit card debt. Could have been worse.
The other one shopped for pleasure and had $0 net worth by the time we met when he was 40.
Not sure where the men with money are. No worries. I kept my monies separately, got a finance degree, invested a lot of it, and have no money worries.
I didn't marry the second one, because of the experience with the first one.
They both really wanted to love me, but they were just so broken inside. One took himself out after I had left. I cannot fix broken.
I know so many messed up people - mostly men, but also women. The one we all thought was nice 20 years ago, and we were upset Tina got him, was arrested for child p.
Is there something in the water?
Several of my acquaintances married men with ASD without knowing what it is or recognizing it. Money problems, unemployment, there's no love.
Manager at worked yelled out the other day that he didn't care about anyone. He is cold as a cucumber thanks to his ASD. Two women had to suffer with him. Took me 10 years to figure him out. They don't do the selfishness on purpose. They were born like that.
I'm sure there are women like that, but this is for men to know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason women feel this way deep in their bones, and it makes perfect sense and should never be questioned; the vast majority of men are not capable of being loving, respectful partners.

If a woman doesn’t insist on an “unfair” financial arrangement in marriage, she will have an “unfair” marriage in which she is exploited.

A lot of very beaten down women on this board who believed a lie about the hearts of men. Men aren’t bad, but they are terminally selfish, and if you as a woman are not benefiting from their selfishness indirectly (through their income), then you are almost certainly being exploited in marriage.

You want all the money but men are the ones that are selfish?

She doesn’t want all the money. She just doesn’t want poverty when he leaves and starts a new family when they’re both 46.

Sorry, this happens all the time.

You qualify for this morning's "Wakeup with the Nutjob" award.

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason women feel this way deep in their bones, and it makes perfect sense and should never be questioned; the vast majority of men are not capable of being loving, respectful partners.

If a woman doesn’t insist on an “unfair” financial arrangement in marriage, she will have an “unfair” marriage in which she is exploited.

A lot of very beaten down women on this board who believed a lie about the hearts of men. Men aren’t bad, but they are terminally selfish, and if you as a woman are not benefiting from their selfishness indirectly (through their income), then you are almost certainly being exploited in marriage.

You want all the money but men are the ones that are selfish?

Yikes. May need to financially divorce.

Oof thank God my marriage isn't like that. I get what you're saying, but I think if you're viewing your marriage like this, it's doomed.

There is a reason women feel this way deep in their bones, and it makes perfect sense and should never be questioned; the vast majority of men are not capable of being loving, respectful partners.

If a woman doesn’t insist on an “unfair” financial arrangement in marriage, she will have an “unfair” marriage in which she is exploited.

A lot of very beaten down women on this board who believed a lie about the hearts of men. Men aren’t bad, but they are terminally selfish, and if you as a woman are not benefiting from their selfishness indirectly (through their income), then you are almost certainly being exploited in marriage.