Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else spiraling? I’m a fed and my job seems up in the air which makes it incredibly hard to do my job right now. I debate just quitting and becoming a sahm but it seems like such a huge jump. Nothing seems to really have purpose and I’m always tired (mostly because I start work at 6am). No vacations planned due to finances. Lost 70k last week in the stock market (not even part of my 401k, which was likely much much worse). It’s really hard to plan for the future because I don’t know what it looks like (like summer camps for kids or vacations).

Dh and I now argue because he likes Trump, which is probably the worst thing that’s happened currently in my life. We had an incredible marriage and now there’s this awful orange stain on it.

Everything seems like it’s up in the air. I really thought we had a good life before this mess. And before you all come at me, I’m a moderate. I haven’t felt well represented in politics for years.

So, it's really your husband that is your problem. If you think that isn't the problem, you are not a moderate. You were also ok with this, is that what I am picking up?

Get on the reddit thread "I didn’t think the leopards would eat my face." You'll have some comraderie there.
Regarding life plans- don't change anything- wait and see what happens, then- adjust your spending and lifestyle.

Op here. Yeah I think if my husband had my back I would be ok. He’s always been my best friend, the perfect husband, perfect father, cooks, cleans, and is kind. He is now cheering on the Fed firings and supports Trump. He’s always been a fiscal conservative/social liberal. Maybe from the outside it looks like they’re getting rid of wasteful spending, but I’m on the inside and I can see the wanton cruelty of doge. Nothing about it makes sense even from a financial standpoint. And anytime I try to talk about what’s going on, he starts going on about Biden.

I can’t give up a long marriage with 3 small kids but how can my husband support all of this?!!!

You need to stop listening to NPR. And/or get off social media completely.

What matters most is: your family. And your family revolves around your marriage. Isn’t that more important right now, than the constant political outraged pushed on you by media?

Uh. Not really buying it with the husband thing. That's the OPs problem. There's no outrage pushed on by the media. We are looking at national and global destruction brought on by people like this- and you, apparently.

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of people are spiraling. There is unprecedented uncertainty, especially in this area.

Some advice, even if it's not what you were asking for.

1. Do everything you can do focus on the basics (sleep, exercise, food) so your baseline mood is as good as you can hope.
2. Limit socials / TV news etc.
3. Remind yourself that you are resilient, and that people in general are resilient. We're built to withstand and adapt.

This is what I am doing. I am finding that it is helping me tread water and keep from spiraling. We are moving to New England soon and I am hoping being farther from the beltway will help. Have been here more than 38 years, it is time to go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else spiraling? I’m a fed and my job seems up in the air which makes it incredibly hard to do my job right now. I debate just quitting and becoming a sahm but it seems like such a huge jump. Nothing seems to really have purpose and I’m always tired (mostly because I start work at 6am). No vacations planned due to finances. Lost 70k last week in the stock market (not even part of my 401k, which was likely much much worse). It’s really hard to plan for the future because I don’t know what it looks like (like summer camps for kids or vacations).

Dh and I now argue because he likes Trump, which is probably the worst thing that’s happened currently in my life. We had an incredible marriage and now there’s this awful orange stain on it.

Everything seems like it’s up in the air. I really thought we had a good life before this mess. And before you all come at me, I’m a moderate. I haven’t felt well represented in politics for years.

So, it's really your husband that is your problem. If you think that isn't the problem, you are not a moderate. You were also ok with this, is that what I am picking up?

Get on the reddit thread "I didn’t think the leopards would eat my face." You'll have some comraderie there.
Regarding life plans- don't change anything- wait and see what happens, then- adjust your spending and lifestyle.

Op here. Yeah I think if my husband had my back I would be ok. He’s always been my best friend, the perfect husband, perfect father, cooks, cleans, and is kind. He is now cheering on the Fed firings and supports Trump. He’s always been a fiscal conservative/social liberal. Maybe from the outside it looks like they’re getting rid of wasteful spending, but I’m on the inside and I can see the wanton cruelty of doge. Nothing about it makes sense even from a financial standpoint. And anytime I try to talk about what’s going on, he starts going on about Biden.

I can’t give up a long marriage with 3 small kids but how can my husband support all of this?!!!

You need to stop listening to NPR. And/or get off social media completely.

What matters most is: your family. And your family revolves around your marriage. Isn’t that more important right now, than the constant political outraged pushed on you by media?

I have good days and bad days. I am actually having a good day today because I buckled down and crossed some key things off my to do list and it made me feel more grounded. I did our taxes and then just pulled the trigger on ordering a major appliance that needs replacing. This is the kind of thing I've been avoiding/putting off lately because all the instability is giving me a lot of financial anxiety. But just buckling down and doing my best with the info I have today is helping me feel okay. This is all we can do. Control what you can control, try not to focus too much on the stuff you can't control. It's what I tell my DC when she's spiraling too -- make a list, check some things off, eat a good meal and go to bed early.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else spiraling? I’m a fed and my job seems up in the air which makes it incredibly hard to do my job right now. I debate just quitting and becoming a sahm but it seems like such a huge jump. Nothing seems to really have purpose and I’m always tired (mostly because I start work at 6am). No vacations planned due to finances. Lost 70k last week in the stock market (not even part of my 401k, which was likely much much worse). It’s really hard to plan for the future because I don’t know what it looks like (like summer camps for kids or vacations).

Dh and I now argue because he likes Trump, which is probably the worst thing that’s happened currently in my life. We had an incredible marriage and now there’s this awful orange stain on it.

Everything seems like it’s up in the air. I really thought we had a good life before this mess. And before you all come at me, I’m a moderate. I haven’t felt well represented in politics for years.

So, it's really your husband that is your problem. If you think that isn't the problem, you are not a moderate. You were also ok with this, is that what I am picking up?

Get on the reddit thread "I didn’t think the leopards would eat my face." You'll have some comraderie there.
Regarding life plans- don't change anything- wait and see what happens, then- adjust your spending and lifestyle.

Op here. Yeah I think if my husband had my back I would be ok. He’s always been my best friend, the perfect husband, perfect father, cooks, cleans, and is kind. He is now cheering on the Fed firings and supports Trump. He’s always been a fiscal conservative/social liberal. Maybe from the outside it looks like they’re getting rid of wasteful spending, but I’m on the inside and I can see the wanton cruelty of doge. Nothing about it makes sense even from a financial standpoint. And anytime I try to talk about what’s going on, he starts going on about Biden.

I can’t give up a long marriage with 3 small kids but how can my husband support all of this?!!!

Anonymous wrote:Op here- not really looking for comments on my situation. Just wanted to hear about others who feel similarly.

Are you ok ?

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else spiraling? I’m a fed and my job seems up in the air which makes it incredibly hard to do my job right now. I debate just quitting and becoming a sahm but it seems like such a huge jump. Nothing seems to really have purpose and I’m always tired (mostly because I start work at 6am). No vacations planned due to finances. Lost 70k last week in the stock market (not even part of my 401k, which was likely much much worse). It’s really hard to plan for the future because I don’t know what it looks like (like summer camps for kids or vacations).

Dh and I now argue because he likes Trump, which is probably the worst thing that’s happened currently in my life. We had an incredible marriage and now there’s this awful orange stain on it.

Everything seems like it’s up in the air. I really thought we had a good life before this mess. And before you all come at me, I’m a moderate. I haven’t felt well represented in politics for years.

So, it's really your husband that is your problem. If you think that isn't the problem, you are not a moderate. You were also ok with this, is that what I am picking up?

Get on the reddit thread "I didn’t think the leopards would eat my face." You'll have some comraderie there.
Regarding life plans- don't change anything- wait and see what happens, then- adjust your spending and lifestyle.

DH and I are feds, and we are fine. We have no time to think about it. When something happens, we will deal with it.

I think a lot of people are spiraling. There is unprecedented uncertainty, especially in this area.

Some advice, even if it's not what you were asking for.

1. Do everything you can do focus on the basics (sleep, exercise, food) so your baseline mood is as good as you can hope.
2. Limit socials / TV news etc.
3. Remind yourself that you are resilient, and that people in general are resilient. We're built to withstand and adapt.

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else spiraling? I’m a fed and my job seems up in the air which makes it incredibly hard to do my job right now. I debate just quitting and becoming a sahm but it seems like such a huge jump. Nothing seems to really have purpose and I’m always tired (mostly because I start work at 6am). No vacations planned due to finances. Lost 70k last week in the stock market (not even part of my 401k, which was likely much much worse). It’s really hard to plan for the future because I don’t know what it looks like (like summer camps for kids or vacations).

Dh and I now argue because he likes Trump, which is probably the worst thing that’s happened currently in my life. We had an incredible marriage and now there’s this awful orange stain on it.

Everything seems like it’s up in the air. I really thought we had a good life before this mess. And before you all come at me, I’m a moderate. I haven’t felt well represented in politics for years.

This made me laugh. Maybe it will give you a smile.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DH_55LOCDxW/?igsh=MWdjM2dxMWpraWE3YQ==

Oh I am definitely spiraling. Federal employee issues, had a baby who turned out to have a physical issue, found out my first child is quite likely on the spectrum, just about climbed out of PPD only to have a miscarriage and now I’m back to drowning in panic every night. The only shining light is that alcohol makes me physically ill, otherwise I’m sure I’d be following three generations of ancestors into chronic liver failure 😞

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else spiraling? I’m a fed and my job seems up in the air which makes it incredibly hard to do my job right now. I debate just quitting and becoming a sahm but it seems like such a huge jump. Nothing seems to really have purpose and I’m always tired (mostly because I start work at 6am). No vacations planned due to finances. Lost 70k last week in the stock market (not even part of my 401k, which was likely much much worse). It’s really hard to plan for the future because I don’t know what it looks like (like summer camps for kids or vacations).

Dh and I now argue because he likes Trump, which is probably the worst thing that’s happened currently in my life. We had an incredible marriage and now there’s this awful orange stain on it.

Everything seems like it’s up in the air. I really thought we had a good life before this mess. And before you all come at me, I’m a moderate. I haven’t felt well represented in politics for years.

I can relate to all this, except DH (an immigrant who is a US citizen) also dislikes the orange stain and has lost his job too. My mother is a Trump supporter, sees us suffering and stressed out and says 'I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you.' But she wasn't thinking of us during the election and supports this administration and it's policies. When I tell her how this impacts us she follows up with some BS she heard on Fox. We cannot afford our mortgage and are going to have to move and pull the kids from school, yet she doesn't care other than go throw pity at us. Pity doesn't pay my mortgage, it doesn't keep my kids in their school, and it doesn't help us to provide a stable environment for them to grow up in at critical milestones. My daughter will be changing schools right before junior year - this will impact her forever. I've drastically reduced my conversations with my mom and I won't be visiting on Easter. I can't afford the flights.

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else spiraling? I’m a fed and my job seems up in the air which makes it incredibly hard to do my job right now. I debate just quitting and becoming a sahm but it seems like such a huge jump. Nothing seems to really have purpose and I’m always tired (mostly because I start work at 6am). No vacations planned due to finances. Lost 70k last week in the stock market (not even part of my 401k, which was likely much much worse). It’s really hard to plan for the future because I don’t know what it looks like (like summer camps for kids or vacations).

Dh and I now argue because he likes Trump, which is probably the worst thing that’s happened currently in my life. We had an incredible marriage and now there’s this awful orange stain on it.

Everything seems like it’s up in the air. I really thought we had a good life before this mess. And before you all come at me, I’m a moderate. I haven’t felt well represented in politics for years.

Oooh, just the start. If you are a woman, as usual, effects of things happening around seems to be felt by mothers.

Op here- not really looking for comments on my situation. Just wanted to hear about others who feel similarly.

Is anyone else spiraling? I’m a fed and my job seems up in the air which makes it incredibly hard to do my job right now. I debate just quitting and becoming a sahm but it seems like such a huge jump. Nothing seems to really have purpose and I’m always tired (mostly because I start work at 6am). No vacations planned due to finances. Lost 70k last week in the stock market (not even part of my 401k, which was likely much much worse). It’s really hard to plan for the future because I don’t know what it looks like (like summer camps for kids or vacations).

Dh and I now argue because he likes Trump, which is probably the worst thing that’s happened currently in my life. We had an incredible marriage and now there’s this awful orange stain on it.

Everything seems like it’s up in the air. I really thought we had a good life before this mess. And before you all come at me, I’m a moderate. I haven’t felt well represented in politics for years.