'm not sure what kind of job you had, but mine requires intense focus almost the entire 10 hours everyday. Everyone eats lunch at their desks, and it’s not just about being in the office — it's about staying mentally sharp and concentrated the whole time.

I used to feel like I had endless energy before I hit 40, but now that I’m in my mid-40s, with a family and kids to take care of, it's a different story. I rarely got time to work out, and it feels like I’m stuck in a cycle that just keeps repeating itself day after day.

I’ve thought about seeing a doctor, but deep down I know that stress is the main issue.

Few Questions.

Does your wife work? If not extremely selfish to take a 40 percent pay cut when you have a house, wife and kids and college to pay for.

if your wife has a job is it high income enough to be a sole provider?

Also Loser jobs you you get laid off too. I had a BSD job paying a ton with a lot of stress which I lost and got a cushy easy job at much lower pay. It created stress and drama in my house. My wife was not happy at all about us losing that income. She did not want to go back to work, college tuition costs keep rising. I was getting in her way being home so much. She also felt scared I get canned at any moment as she was used to be working hard.

You most likely need to see a Therapist and a Doctor to address your mental and physical issues. From 40-58 I had high stress long hours highly paid jobs. I never felt tired. I leave the house at 650am and get home at 730 pm every day. I could stay up to midnight every night and wake up at 550 am and never feel tired. I could run around all weekend with kids.

I dont understand how someone in their 40s is tired. My old bosses in their 50s worked 55 hour weeks and went to the Hamptons on Weekends, flew away on family vacations, went hiking, they seem to have endless energy.

My board members between 65-75 they did not have that energy. But you are 30-40 years younger.

I would recommend focusing more on your physical and mental health to improve stamina. Once current federal chaos is over then you can revisit this matter. Nothing is more important than health.

I did this, much happier and healthier too.

I would switch, yes.

Anonymous wrote:How did you just get into this a few years ago? I’d like to get into IB but I’m old, early 30s.

Too late to be on the GS equity derivatives team.
Not too late to be on tier 2/3 fix income team.
One of my direct report went to MUFG banking team as a 29 year old after 2 years of big 4 and 2 years of buy side (market) risk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar boat and I won’t go to a low stress job. I would be bored staring at those losers quasi government employees. You would know what I mean if you are in high finance.

+1. And unless you’re really good about no longer giving a F, being an intrinsically high performer surrounded my mediocre performers will frustrate the heck out of you.

you forget about the part these bored mediocre people will gang up to bully anyone who doesn't belong.
You spent your career building skills.
They spent 20 years building bullying tactics.
You can't win.

Anonymous wrote:How did you just get into this a few years ago? I’d like to get into IB but I’m old, early 30s.

I've always worked on the same product, but transitioned from consulting to high finance. In hindsight, I probably should have stayed in consulting, It is not exactly low stress, but it was certainly much less intense than my current role. Another factor is your energy levels tend to decline with age especially when you hit 40. If you're considering a move into high finance, it's best to switch much earlier, earn enough money then retire in your 40s.

Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar boat and I won’t go to a low stress job. I would be bored staring at those losers quasi government employees. You would know what I mean if you are in high finance.

+1. And unless you’re really good about no longer giving a F, being an intrinsically high performer surrounded my mediocre performers will frustrate the heck out of you.

I took a lower paying job that came with less stress. I regret it and now going back to the high stress job with more pay. I realized, after a year, that the issue is not my job, it was my home. I disliked going home. I was not happy going home to my husband. The exhaustion I felt was sadness.

I am in a similar boat and I won’t go to a low stress job. I would be bored staring at those losers quasi government employees. You would know what I mean if you are in high finance.

Get the “low stress” job first before you switch.

How did you just get into this a few years ago? I’d like to get into IB but I’m old, early 30s.

What do you value more, your health and life, or money?

That's your answer.

I’m currently in my 40s and working in high finance—banking, investments, and similar roles—and earning a good income. However, I’m feeling burned out and struggling to keep up with the younger, more energetic crowd. I often come home exhausted, with little energy left for my family. This has started to affect my relationship with my wife and children.

I recently had an honest conversation with my wife, and she supported the idea of switching to a less demanding career—possibly in a quasi-government role that still pays reasonably well but offers a much better work-life balance(probably take pay cut 30-40%).

I’m in my mid-40s and only entered this industry about three years ago. At the time, I thought I could earn a high income for a few years and then retire early. But realistically, the money I’ve made is good but isn’t enough to make early retirement possible.

Now I’m at a crossroads: should I make the switch to a lower-stress job and prioritize my well-being and family life? Or should I try to push through for a few more years—maybe until my 50s—to build more financial security? I’m also aware that if I leave this highly competitive industry now, there’s no chance I will be able to return later if I need money.