Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 13:10     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:WTF? I would just auto set them to pay the full amount.


We have tried that and spouse changes it. Just need other suggestions. I know, the whole thing is bizarre. I paid them off this morning. Hide card? What would you do?

That was my suggestion too. Why in the world would they do that?


I would separate finances immediately (ie don't take on their debt), and take over paying for everything for the family. If spouse doesn't agree, and will not seek therapy for this, then I'd consider other options. I could not live with someone who is not financially smart and willing to change.

But I would limit access immediately
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 13:09     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
He gets to be authorized user only and not access to online and you set it to autopay. Why charge over X amount triggers an email to you. People who behave like toddlers get treated like toddlers.
Is there a risk that he will get his own credit card that you don't know about?
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 13:08     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Anonymous wrote:I just found out we had 35k in credit card debt in 9 months. The kicker is that we have the cash to pay it off. My spouse just carries the balance for some reason. We have talked about this for a few years and I have tried explaining we are paying interest. It costs thousands of dollars to run our finances like this, just money in the garbage. Would you just totally work off a debit card system? Any good debit cards for this situation that offer more protection in the case of theft, etc? Credit limit is about 150k so it hasn't dinged our credit score too badly. HELP! Advice needed. Also high income, 500k salary professional, so definitely has the capacity to understand, it just seems like some mental block.


IMO, your spouse needs some counseling. I wouldn't provide access to family funds until they get assistance. I would switch to managing the finances, and yes, only allow a Debit card for access (with low amounts in the account) or a CC with only $2K credit limit.

But in reality you need to fix the root cause, which is your spouses lack of financial acuity.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 13:07     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
that is bizarre. does he see it as a problem he wants you to solve (in which case there are many options) or does he think he's doing a good thing and you need someone to convince him otherwise (in which case, if you can't get therapy or a financial planner or someone to get through to him, I would honestly consider separating finances or even divorce).
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 13:00     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Anonymous wrote:Can you take out cards in your name and close the ones he can log onto. Like you might do with a teen?

I would separate ny debt from his legally, if you can’t fix this. See an attorney.

(He does not sound mentally stable, honestly, to change it despite your talks. Is there other erratic/irresponsible behavior? Could he be on drugs? )



We do not have any debt except the CC and mortgage. I know that for a fact.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 12:14     Subject: Re:Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Let them have a debit card only.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 12:09     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:WTF? I would just auto set them to pay the full amount.


We have tried that and spouse changes it. Just need other suggestions. I know, the whole thing is bizarre. I paid them off this morning. Hide card? What would you do?

That was my suggestion too. Why in the world would they do that?
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 12:08     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Make him an Authorized User and set a limit of 1500 bucks. He'll figure it out quickly.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 12:08     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Can you take over the paying of bills? My husband was late occasionally so I took over the job. Carrying a balance like that would piss me off because I know how much is adding in interest needlessly
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 12:04     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Can you take out cards in your name and close the ones he can log onto. Like you might do with a teen?

I would separate ny debt from his legally, if you can’t fix this. See an attorney.

(He does not sound mentally stable, honestly, to change it despite your talks. Is there other erratic/irresponsible behavior? Could he be on drugs? )
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 11:55     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Change everything to paper statements and YOU take over payments for all accounts.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 11:48     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Also I checked cards and it's nothing strange with spending, just normal month to month stuff we should be using our bank or debit card for.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 11:48     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
Anonymous wrote:WTF? I would just auto set them to pay the full amount.


We have tried that and spouse changes it. Just need other suggestions. I know, the whole thing is bizarre. I paid them off this morning. Hide card? What would you do?
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 11:47     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
WTF? I would just auto set them to pay the full amount.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2025 11:45     Subject: Spouse cannot handle credit cards
I just found out we had 35k in credit card debt in 9 months. The kicker is that we have the cash to pay it off. My spouse just carries the balance for some reason. We have talked about this for a few years and I have tried explaining we are paying interest. It costs thousands of dollars to run our finances like this, just money in the garbage. Would you just totally work off a debit card system? Any good debit cards for this situation that offer more protection in the case of theft, etc? Credit limit is about 150k so it hasn't dinged our credit score too badly. HELP! Advice needed. Also high income, 500k salary professional, so definitely has the capacity to understand, it just seems like some mental block.