Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

Some families love the all sports all the time life. Their friends and their kids' friends are teammates. When they do hang out, it's with those people. Their kids love the lessons and extra practices and the parents love the hustle. If it's working for a family, why not?

Obviously it doesn't work for you. It doesn't work for my family either. My kids play rec, intermediate (not full travel), and school sports as their inclinations lead and it's working. But I don't judge the others.

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

Follow your kids' lead. She may be a mediocre travel player right up until she gets serious about it. She may switch to another sport. She may continue to be mediocre.

I have one kid who almost quit her sport right up until she switched to a new position, feel in love, and started dragging US out to practice with her. Once that happened we got her in lessons and supported the interest.

I have another kid who has always loved her sport, and again we follow that lead.

My third kid is in it for the friends and we don't push. I don't know what we'll do once her friends decide it's no fun having a kid who isn't good on the (rec) team.

My DD is 9. She also plays “travel” soccer (called premier league). She started late compared to the other girls (this is her second year) and apparently most of the girls started at 6-7. She is not the best, but she loves it and she is very competitive. She wants this, she asked for it, she is often playing with the ball on her own. I wish I did not have to drive her to practice twice a week and sometimes multiple games on weekends (they sometimes ask her to play with the older team).

My DD is very athletic and is good at basically every sport she tries. I think she might have a chance at soccer because SHE loves it and she is so competitive. I wish she wanted more play date and sleepovers…

Anonymous wrote:Op - I also don’t understand how kids continue to play, train and practice at a high level and keep their grades up. Kids go to a private school with no retakes on tests. Lots of reading and math already in lower elementary.

I was a pretty decent athlete. Recruited to play in college. But I was a science major at a very hard school and my parents told me grades came first and I had to graduate in 4 years no matter what. I couldn’t do both so I didn’t play sports. Clearly there are people out there smarter than me because I couldn’t maintain a 4.0 and play high level college sports.

Because some kids are highly intelligent and/or learn quicker than others (not quite the same thing). One of my teens is a really intelligent and quick learner, who can do juggle several extracurriculars, including a really time-consuming one at a high level, yet who is also doing advanced courses in high school and getting perfect grades, no problem. My other child is the opposite - he has low processing speed and can't multitask to save his life. He can only focus on academics.

No. FFS. Let your kid be a kid and enjoy sports.

^^ pushing leads to burn out, which leads to dropping out. Let her have fun, and maybe, just maybe, she'll stick around and play

I would not. That's how you get kids playing while being miserable and quitting as soon as they're allowed. I'd rather have a kid playing for fun and quitting when they want to focus on another interest, and playing on and off casually throughout their lives.

Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she want to be better? It's ok to do something just for the fun of it.

Op - I think she is just in it for fun. She doesn’t have a super competitive spirit. Just likes being around her friends.

If you asked her would she rather hang out with her friends on a weekend and have a sleepover or get up at 7am for a soccer tournament she would pick the first thing every time.

She's 8. Let her have a sleepover with friends. To what end would you be "pushing" her? You lived your life, now it's her turn.

Op - I also don’t understand how kids continue to play, train and practice at a high level and keep their grades up. Kids go to a private school with no retakes on tests. Lots of reading and math already in lower elementary.

I was a pretty decent athlete. Recruited to play in college. But I was a science major at a very hard school and my parents told me grades came first and I had to graduate in 4 years no matter what. I couldn’t do both so I didn’t play sports. Clearly there are people out there smarter than me because I couldn’t maintain a 4.0 and play high level college sports.

Anonymous wrote:Does she want to be better? It's ok to do something just for the fun of it.

Op - I think she is just in it for fun. She doesn’t have a super competitive spirit. Just likes being around her friends.

If you asked her would she rather hang out with her friends on a weekend and have a sleepover or get up at 7am for a soccer tournament she would pick the first thing every time.

Does she want to be better? It's ok to do something just for the fun of it.

I think "pushing" is worthwhile to try, with the caveat that it needs to be appropriate to the child's potential and skillset. That is, you can't expect a kid to go beyond what they were built to do, both physically and cognitively. Time will give you the answer to that. Sometimes it's difficult for ambitious parents to recognize that an investment in time and effort has run its course, and sometimes it's self-evident and everyone accepts it easily.

DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.