I have heard that IM progesterone can immediately improve your mood. I’m looking for a doctor who prescribes this before birth so that I am prepared. Doctors who are trained in the Creighton method apparently do this and I just need to find one!

I stopped trying to force breastfeeding to happen. It was not working, was not going to work, and the attempt was making me very very miserable and sleep deprived.

Stopping coincided with the sun coming back in the Spring, and I think the combination of dropping breastfeeding, getting some actual sleep, and walking around in the sun was what got me back on track mentally.

In my culture, sadness/mood swings/being overwhelmed/crying etc are considered a natural negative outcome after birth because your body and mind are not healed. If you ignore it, it will progress to full blown PPD. You have to manage it after birth by giving good care to mom and child for at least 40 days.

For the 1st 3 months after birth (in DMV area) -
- My mom was with me 24/7. She came from my country of origin to help me with my postpartum care.
- My DH took time off and did his part - more than 50%.
- My diet and daily massages was very well regulated. We hired a masseuse for this.
- My mom took care of the baby in the day time so that I could sleep. Baby wanted to be held and sleep. My mom was willing to hold the baby in her lap and rock her. She only got the baby to me so that I could nurse the baby. My DH got the baby at night.
- I had a lactation consultant that I consulted with 2 times who was on my side and she made sure that nursing was easy for me and the baby. She helped me in picking the proper clothes, pump, chair, nursing cushion, nipple balm and pads etc. Thanks to her I was nursing on demand and continued to nurse each of my kids until they were 3 years old.
- I was made to drink a yummy concoction of milk, nuts, spices, fat, dates - every time I nursed the baby which is part of my cultural tradition. This kept my energy and essential nutrients up.
- We had a cleaning lady (twice a week) - who also did laundry. And a part time cook (twice a week) who also did our groceries. This was a time before instacart. We paid through our nose but we had been saving for the post-partum care since we had got married, and my parents and siblings also chipped in.
- Our household went into seclusion for the first 40 days, except for very close friends and family.
- I took Benadryl every night to sleep on my Drs. order.
- I pumped so that my DH could give one feed between midnight and 5 am to my baby.
- Between my mom and my DH - I did not even burp my kid, changed a single nappy, gave the baby a massage or a bath or rocked the baby to sleep. The entire care of the baby was on my mom and DH.
- I was not left alone at home. My mom was always there with me, and sometimes my sister also came and spent time with me.
- I was not allowed to do any work at home. I just nursed, ate post-pregnancy food, and slept.
- My daily massages and nutritious meals helped in healing my body and mind.
- Baby and I were kept in a warm room, we were made to sunbathe (sunny window) after being massaged with medicated oils indoors, we were kept extremely well hyderated and not allowed to eat or drink anything cold for the first 30 days. Even the bathroom was well heated, and I had to bathe and dry my hair completely and be dressed in warm clothes because a woman's body and mind needs time to get back in balance. My mom was horrified that post partum women were given cold chips to eat and big jumbo cups of cold water.
- No junk food for me. No caffine.

Got a part time nanny.

Paxil.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for this.

Any advice on stopping nursing / pumping? I tried to, but think it triggered a hormonal crash that was severe enough that I had to pause that.

I had a really, really intense hormone crash when my first child night-weaned. It was so much worse than anything I experienced during pregnancy or immediately postpartum. I felt like I was going crazy. It took about 2 weeks to resolve. I didn't "do" anything to resolve it myself - just white-knuckled through things and cried a lot until it passed. Later, I read that the hormone drops associated with weaning can be pretty dramatic, but no one ever told me that. She was also 12 months at the time, so I thought I was outside the window for "postpartum mental health problems."

Please speak to your OB or midwife and tell them that you're feeling anxious and depressed. Zoloft or Prozac combined with talk therapy, social support, and time are really the only things that get you past it.

I white knuckled it too. It was a dark time that lasted 2-3 years, but I had another baby during that time, so that may have complicated things.

I wish that I had at least tried to get some help. I wouldn’t admit this were the forum not anonymous, but it took me a very long time to bond with my first baby. Maybe more support—therapist, childcare, even just mom friends—would have changed that.

Whatever you do OP, I sincerely wish you all the best. You’re doing a great job, whether you can see it now or not.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for this.

Any advice on stopping nursing / pumping? I tried to, but think it triggered a hormonal crash that was severe enough that I had to pause that.

Are you looking for advice on how to stop, or how to avoid the hormone shifts that will come with stopping? Can't help with the second (I think that's just going to happen), but cabbage leaves in your bra will help you shut things down pretty quickly and relatively painlessly.

I had intense PPD/PPA with my first and did all kinds of things differently with my second: I started taking Zoloft, didn't breastfeed, so got more sleep and my partner could be as hands on as me, I wasn't tied to a pump all the time when I was at work/out and about without the baby, started working out sooner (wasn't constantly paranoid about tanking my milk supply), so I felt more like myself. My second postpartum period has been soooooo different as a result.

I'm sure someone will come at me and say I'm a bad mom for not breastfeeding, but I can say with tremendous confidence that I was a much better mom without the PPD/PPA and not breastfeeding than I was a breastfeeding mom, constantly on the verge of tears or blinding rage. Your OB can prescribe meds for you.

Good luck. You're doing great.

I felt mostly better once mine started sleeping through the night around 8 months and then had a big hormonal crash when weaning at 13 months

OP here - thanks for this.

Any advice on stopping nursing / pumping? I tried to, but think it triggered a hormonal crash that was severe enough that I had to pause that.

I white knuckled it, too. Back then, you couldn’t do tele-health appointments so going to see a therapist with an infant felt like a very tall order. These days you could do a phone or telehealth appointment, which I think would be valuable as a starting point. They will likely have some ideas.

Stopping breastfeeding and getting 5hrs per night of uninterrupted sleep were what ultimately pulled me out of it. For me, both didn’t happen until my child was 2. Which is to say: if you don’t take action, it may stick around for a while.

Stopping breastfeeding is a fraught thing, but many women will attest to the hormonal impact on mood. Once I got down to 1x per day (before bed) I felt better. But my mood improved even more—back to my old self—once I stopped entirely.

Lack of sleep also compounds PPD. It really, really does. If you can get 5 uninterrupted hours, that will really help. But the more the better.

Daily time outside in the sun, sleeping 8 hours straight at night, Wellbutrin, iron supplements and vitamin D.

I'm not sure if all PPD is like this, but mine had a few concrete causes and it wasn't totally hormonal. I couldn't care for my baby because I hated their name so much and I also hated my postpartum body. Even now when I look back I am pissed off about the name. I should have changed it instantly, but I was embarrassed. Instead we chose a nickname for our child and have only used it since. With my body, everything improved slowly. But it was a SHOCK to see how horrific my body looked postpartum and that I actually weighed 2 lbs more when I left the hospital than when I went in (I had terrible swelling from the IV I was on for 3 days). With future babies I just didn't look in a mirror those first few weeks as I changed and it wasn't such a shock. I was more proud of my body and what it could do with my next two babies.

Regarding getting a doctor, I just had a telehealth visit with my doctor and got Wellbutrin that day.

Fluoxetine. Lots of fluoxetine.

I'm going to be honest, I tried to get in to see someone, couldn't manage it gave up and just white knuckles through until it just kind of got better a year in. The idea that you can manage to find someone who is taking patients and takes your insurance when you're dealing with everything else is a joke. I made like ten calls, felt worse about everything and just gave up.

Going back to work helped a lot, honestly.

Title says it all.

I have been having a hard time. We have an objectively good situation - supportive partner, healthy baby, comfortable life.

Baby is a few months old now, and I am still struggling with being irritable, crying or outbursts several times a week, having trouble keeping a rational and calm outlook on things, etc.

How did you recover from PPD? How did you manage until then?