I.need.to.vent.and recover.from.all.your.periods.

It's really the 3 dental visits that make it seem like a lot! And those are quite necessary; she'll be in pain if she doesn't get the crowns repaired.

The ear wax - it is possible to DIY if she will let you. I had to learn how to do it for my disabled spouse. It's not that hard - you just need the right syringes and stuff.

One thing to try is see if you can batch her biannual appointments. So every six months, do her dental appointment and her prolia shot appointment together the same day.

The podiatrist visit for the possible fungus doesn't sound horribly urgent. Is there a podiatrist who could make a house call to the assisted living facility? I found a good one, he doesn't participate with Medicare, but honestly Medicare doesn't cover much of podiatry anyhow.
I still need to take time off to stay home with my spouse for the appointment, but we don't have to go through the stress of getting him out of the house and to the appointment.

If you can't find a podiatrist who will come to the facility, you might just punt that appointment another couple months, maybe batch it with another appointment if something else comes up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. I honestly hadn't thought if she really needed them. Appointments this month and next:

1. one general physical
2. three dentist appointments -- one cleaning and then two related to a crown (which I think she really did need)
3. one ear doc to clean wax from her ear
4. one podiatrist because apparently she might have some sort of fungus (this per the physical)
5. one trip off to a different doctor's office for her biannual prolia shot (related to osteoporosis, and the GP can't do this because of weird insurance things.)

hopefully once these are out of the way, the calendar clears a bit.

NP and these sound reasonable.

Are you taking her to the appointments?

One thing that helped me was although my mom was no longer driving, she was issued a handicap placard - so helpful for me (or my siblings) to use for appointments.

We’d try to combine appointments with errands if at all possible.

Yeah, I'm the only child in town, so I'm taking her to everything except for the physical -- we had an aid take her to that. She lives in a retirement community so thankfully about 1/3 of the visits are on site, but even so, she needs someone in the room to advocate for her and take note of what the doc is saying. It's just hard to take care of all this and also take care of my own basic health maintenance and that of my kids.

PP back and been there. Maybe this would help: is there a transport service available at her community? Asking because at the end of her life, my mom used a wheelchair and just impossible for me to physically manage her equipment and she was so frail.

It’s absolutely exhausting. Are there any appointments (dentist?) that could be taken care on on-site? My mom’s place had monthly round type visits from different specialists (I remember a podiatrist) and also a walk-in clinic (although this was poorly staffed and was post covid). She could at least get her ears cleaned (same wax problem) on occasion.

Try to get to only essential appointments - she can find an on site hairstylist (my mom was demanding me to take her to her longtime hometown stylist a 1/2 hour away in a city) and think about if having a gerontologist only makes sense. A gerontologist might be able to outline what is essential, what is not and can perhaps manage her care.

I’m so sorry. I went through this and it was tough to manage work/family/eldercare.

OP, dealing with this now with my ILs; MIL has dementia and only FIL drives now. MIL has to accompany FIL to his many appointments,
prefers to go along (can’t be left alone) yet FIL refuses any help beyond occasionally asking DH to come along to “sit” with his mom in waiting room.

Trying to manage their care and it’s not easy. Already see the writing on the wall: so difficult for FIL to get to appointments that he’s going to delay or skip his checkups.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. I honestly hadn't thought if she really needed them. Appointments this month and next:

1. one general physical
2. three dentist appointments -- one cleaning and then two related to a crown (which I think she really did need)
3. one ear doc to clean wax from her ear
4. one podiatrist because apparently she might have some sort of fungus (this per the physical)
5. one trip off to a different doctor's office for her biannual prolia shot (related to osteoporosis, and the GP can't do this because of weird insurance things.)

hopefully once these are out of the way, the calendar clears a bit.

NP and these sound reasonable.

Are you taking her to the appointments?

One thing that helped me was although my mom was no longer driving, she was issued a handicap placard - so helpful for me (or my siblings) to use for appointments.

We’d try to combine appointments with errands if at all possible.

Yeah, I'm the only child in town, so I'm taking her to everything except for the physical -- we had an aid take her to that. She lives in a retirement community so thankfully about 1/3 of the visits are on site, but even so, she needs someone in the room to advocate for her and take note of what the doc is saying. It's just hard to take care of all this and also take care of my own basic health maintenance and that of my kids.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. I honestly hadn't thought if she really needed them. Appointments this month and next:

1. one general physical
2. three dentist appointments -- one cleaning and then two related to a crown (which I think she really did need)
3. one ear doc to clean wax from her ear
4. one podiatrist because apparently she might have some sort of fungus (this per the physical)
5. one trip off to a different doctor's office for her biannual prolia shot (related to osteoporosis, and the GP can't do this because of weird insurance things.)

hopefully once these are out of the way, the calendar clears a bit.

NP and these sound reasonable.

Are you taking her to the appointments?

One thing that helped me was although my mom was no longer driving, she was issued a handicap placard - so helpful for me (or my siblings) to use for appointments.

We’d try to combine appointments with errands if at all possible.

OP here. Thanks for the replies. I honestly hadn't thought if she really needed them. Appointments this month and next:

1. one general physical
2. three dentist appointments -- one cleaning and then two related to a crown (which I think she really did need)
3. one ear doc to clean wax from her ear
4. one podiatrist because apparently she might have some sort of fungus (this per the physical)
5. one trip off to a different doctor's office for her biannual prolia shot (related to osteoporosis, and the GP can't do this because of weird insurance things.)

hopefully once these are out of the way, the calendar clears a bit.

This is where at a certain age, the patient just has to say no more.

My 90 year old mother maybe went to two doctor's appointments per year, even though her primary said she should go to the cardiologist, the pulmonologist, etc.

Her attitude was, I am 90 and feel fine and if my time is up, my time is up.

She made it to 93. She did go very quickly when she first became ill.

I think it depends on how many Rxs they are taking. And Rxs generally need adjusting as the body either needs a higher dosage, or it's too much as body chemistry changes. Also, the more Rxs the more of the body that isn't functioning well on its own.

Yeah this is just Drs milking the insurance. I highly doubt she truly "needs" most of these appointments.

I have thought about this too. It’s not easy to get to appointments. Do they need for prescription maintenance?

Why is she going to them? I take my FIL to his appointments and at 80 he even knows they do nothing and wants to stop. No reason to keep going unless there is a major medical issue.

Another poster coming in to ask if she really needs all of them. My mom is 80 and in pretty good shape. She can still babysit DS, still drives, still gets together with friends, and goes on vacation. She has some conditions that are never going to get better and the follow up appts are basically just check ins. After Covid, she kind of realized many of them were pointless and that she was more likely to pick up something at the office. She sees her PCP, her cardiologist, and her pulmonologist. Her GI doc,Ortho (who told her the only option was a surgery she won't do), andeye doc? She'll see if there is an issue.

Does she really need all of the appointments? My mom is 83 with moderate Alzheimer’s but is in good physical health. I take her to her annual physical, her biannual neurology visit for the Alzheimer’s, and the dentist every 6 months for checkup and cleaning. That’s it.

Mom is 90 and in relatively good health. But still, there are so many doctor's appointments, I feel like I can barely keep up. That's all. I just needed to vent for a moment.