Anonymous wrote:We decided not to go to drug test route. Too adversarial and something he could just wait out until he’s 18 and in college. It’s just not the kind of relationship we wanted.

We went the relationship enhancing route. Talks, getting to the bottom of why, education about the health implications, monitoring friends and his coming and going, taking the car keys when it was found in his car.

The natural consequences of getting really sick is what did it for him though. He seems to be done with it for real.

Fair approach.

Important info:

https://wtop.com/dc/2026/03/childrens-national-hospital-sees-more-cannabis-addiction-among-teens-and-tweens/

"Children’s National Hospital is reporting a growing number of young patients some as young as 11 seeking treatment for cannabis use and addiction. Dr. Siva Kaliamurthy, who leads the hospital’s addiction program, says cases have shifted in recent years. While fentanyl once drove most visits after the clinic opened in 2022, cannabis-related cases are now increasing as fentanyl cases decline.
Doctors point to significantly stronger cannabis products as a key factor. THC levels that once ranged from 1% to 5% now commonly reach 20% to 25%, with some vape products as high as 70%, raising risks for developing brains."

Anonymous wrote:We decided not to go to drug test route. Too adversarial and something he could just wait out until he’s 18 and in college. It’s just not the kind of relationship we wanted.

We went the relationship enhancing route. Talks, getting to the bottom of why, education about the health implications, monitoring friends and his coming and going, taking the car keys when it was found in his car.

The natural consequences of getting really sick is what did it for him though. He seems to be done with it for real.

PP would you mind giving us details about this?

We decided not to go to drug test route. Too adversarial and something he could just wait out until he’s 18 and in college. It’s just not the kind of relationship we wanted.

We went the relationship enhancing route. Talks, getting to the bottom of why, education about the health implications, monitoring friends and his coming and going, taking the car keys when it was found in his car.

The natural consequences of getting really sick is what did it for him though. He seems to be done with it for real.

I am honestly shocked how many parents do not drug test. They cost so little and are on Amazon. Want money, car or a life outside of this home? Clean pee

No driving, no access to funds or allowance, drug testing.

Let him keep the phone and of course the college he plans to go to. Talk to him about ruining his brain cells when he is young.

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if kid was literally turning 18 in the next two weeks (but is dependent on parents for car, expensive college starting next year, etc.)

I would drug test while he lives in my nice, warm home and tuition payments would also be contingent.

I’d be drug testing for a long time into the future, would not pay for a phone except maybe a flip phone, and would not pay for anything if the tests were positive once the initial positive test had time to leave the system. I’d pay for rehab or counseling. I’d take away car keys if there were positive tests as driving while high is horrible, and if they have their own car, I’d take away keys unless they paid for the car themselves and the insurance and I’d be sure my name was not listed as an owner of the car in case there was an accident.

Don’t let this slide by. It’s serious.

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if kid was literally turning 18 in the next two weeks (but is dependent on parents for car, expensive college starting next year, etc.)

He’s a legal adult but not financially independent so you have something to hold over his head. Just watch out though. It’s easy for him to get a medical marijuana card and you can’t do anything about it.

Anonymous wrote:I hadn’t thought of drug test as it seems obvious he’s been using it. Were you anticipating he was going to deny? Or were you worried about other drugs?

The drug test was the make sure he didn’t continue to use.

What would you do if kid was literally turning 18 in the next two weeks (but is dependent on parents for car, expensive college starting next year, etc.)

Cut off heir access to money.

I hadn’t thought of drug test as it seems obvious he’s been using it. Were you anticipating he was going to deny? Or were you worried about other drugs?

Drug test. It was positive. No phone. No friends. I monitored his bank account. I drug tested him until he turned 18 (it was about 7-8 months later).

If you found a vape pen in your teens room, what was your next step?