Anonymous
03/19/2025 12:46
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
Anonymous wrote:SFS alum. Sent my kids elsewhere. Had a coworker whose kid hated it so much they left after junior year rather than finish out.
Where did the kid go senior year?
Anonymous
03/19/2025 12:27
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
SFS alum. Sent my kids elsewhere. Had a coworker whose kid hated it so much they left after junior year rather than finish out.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 12:06
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
Anonymous wrote:My experience with high school in general is the last two years are brutal, which might be why you get different responses from parents of grads vs current underclassmen.
Good point.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 12:04
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
Honestly these type of responses (presumably from a Sidwell parent?) are part of what gives us pause in considering SFS for our DC who was admitted for 9th. It signals a fundamentally unkind community that is more interested in prestige (or perceived prestige) than a healthy school environment. I appreciated and found PP's post helpful.
That’s why you can’t make decisions based on this listserv’s anonymous posts. Who’s to say that person is actually a Sidwell parent? Try to talk to as many Sidwell families as you can, including, if possible, the kids. I’m in your boat, and I’ve definitely talked to families and kids who love it there. I also know a kid who is really unhappy their. That kid started at Sidwell when they were younger, probably would have been happier at a different US. With my child entering as a 9th grader, I know that they thrive off academic challenge and intensity and enjoy being around other kids who do, too. I think they will find that at Sidwell and it will be a great place for them.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 11:43
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
Honestly these type of responses (presumably from a Sidwell parent?) are part of what gives us pause in considering SFS for our DC who was admitted for 9th. It signals a fundamentally unkind community that is more interested in prestige (or perceived prestige) than a healthy school environment. I appreciated and found PP's post helpful.
Exactly. What are your other options?
We knew going with Sidwell would mean succumbing to this type of environment in return from a great education.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 11:41
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
Honestly these type of responses (presumably from a Sidwell parent?) are part of what gives us pause in considering SFS for our DC who was admitted for 9th. It signals a fundamentally unkind community that is more interested in prestige (or perceived prestige) than a healthy school environment. I appreciated and found PP's post helpful.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 11:38
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
My experience with high school in general is the last two years are brutal, which might be why you get different responses from parents of grads vs current underclassmen.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 11:34
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 11:26
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
Anonymous wrote:The responses above are very helpful. As another new parent we are also nervous but excited about 9th grade at Sidwell next year.
This forum seems to have a pattern though- in Sidwell vs XYZ school, Sidwell will be described as a pressure cooker sucking the joy out of people. But then if you read XYZ school vs ABC school perceived as lower ranking, then XYZ school becomes a pressure cooker sucking joy out of people. Whether these are calculated attempts to move waitlists or discourage applicants, who knows? Or maybe just people in the other schools trying to feel better about their choices?
The notion of downplaying a school to “move to waitlist” is comical. It’s not happening; Sidwell has their yield management down. The only people who claim that others are doing that are parents of the respective school.
Anyways, Sidwell has an earned reputation as a pressure cooker. That being said, it’s the best school in the area. Take it unless you know your child does not work well under pressure and needs a warmer environment.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 11:22
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 11:15
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
The responses above are very helpful. As another new parent we are also nervous but excited about 9th grade at Sidwell next year.
This forum seems to have a pattern though- in Sidwell vs XYZ school, Sidwell will be described as a pressure cooker sucking the joy out of people. But then if you read XYZ school vs ABC school perceived as lower ranking, then XYZ school becomes a pressure cooker sucking joy out of people. Whether these are calculated attempts to move waitlists or discourage applicants, who knows? Or maybe just people in the other schools trying to feel better about their choices?
This forum seems to have a pattern though- in Sidwell vs XYZ school, Sidwell will be described as a pressure cooker sucking the joy out of people. But then if you read XYZ school vs ABC school perceived as lower ranking, then XYZ school becomes a pressure cooker sucking joy out of people. Whether these are calculated attempts to move waitlists or discourage applicants, who knows? Or maybe just people in the other schools trying to feel better about their choices?
Anonymous
03/19/2025 11:04
Subject: Re:Happiness at Sidwell...
My US SFS students started at the school in MS and are in US now. They are both impressed with the "quality" (wrong word but don't have time to think of another) of students who enter SFS in 9th grade. They are the true achievers and are the ones who spur on the lifers and the kids who started in the earlier years.
Both immediately became friends with new 9th graders and found them to be great additions to the classes - sportswise, arts wise and other ECs, and in academics.
OP, your child would not have gotten in if the SFS admissions team had not known that they can handle the work. Presumably, you want your child at a school with a rigorous environment, or you wouldn't have applied there. Personally, I hate the word "joyful," as it is meaningless word with too many interpretations. Kids do not skip through the halls singing, if that is what you're looking for.
It's school. There will be hard days and there will be fantastic days; most days are in the middle. My kids love Sidwell and we've loved the community, (most of) the teachers and what the experience has done for them.
If you have an offer, take it.
Both immediately became friends with new 9th graders and found them to be great additions to the classes - sportswise, arts wise and other ECs, and in academics.
OP, your child would not have gotten in if the SFS admissions team had not known that they can handle the work. Presumably, you want your child at a school with a rigorous environment, or you wouldn't have applied there. Personally, I hate the word "joyful," as it is meaningless word with too many interpretations. Kids do not skip through the halls singing, if that is what you're looking for.
It's school. There will be hard days and there will be fantastic days; most days are in the middle. My kids love Sidwell and we've loved the community, (most of) the teachers and what the experience has done for them.
If you have an offer, take it.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 10:33
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
I’d echo that sentiment. We came into Sidwell in 9th, and my child loves it, has a really nice (and funny) group of friends, and is genuinely enjoying everything the school has to offer.
It is rigorous and at times a lot of work, but the school/teachers also build in a fair amount of flexibility for kids to spread things out when needed (with advanced notice). The teachers are also very approachable and willing to help if/when there’s an academic stumble (and there will be, but a good experience for them). They’re not trying to “weed” anyone out. The “pressure cooker” assertions are overblown, and it was something we were concerned about, as well.
My child likes the block schedule with time to tackle their homework, and also likes the exam schedule (one per day, with a couple of “reading days” in advance, doesn't mind it’s post-holiday in January). I’d advise that you follow the recommendation regarding which math and science class to take in 9th. It feels like too many parents worry about the difference between the accelerated and standard classes and how it will look to colleges — they can move up or down as needed. Let them settle in and enjoy everything outside the classroom, as well.
If you were able to attend the recent DC basketball playoffs or the play last week, you’d see what the community is like: very supportive. Same with the parents, many of which we’ve become friends with. We don’t regret the decision for a second and enjoy being a part of the community.
It is rigorous and at times a lot of work, but the school/teachers also build in a fair amount of flexibility for kids to spread things out when needed (with advanced notice). The teachers are also very approachable and willing to help if/when there’s an academic stumble (and there will be, but a good experience for them). They’re not trying to “weed” anyone out. The “pressure cooker” assertions are overblown, and it was something we were concerned about, as well.
My child likes the block schedule with time to tackle their homework, and also likes the exam schedule (one per day, with a couple of “reading days” in advance, doesn't mind it’s post-holiday in January). I’d advise that you follow the recommendation regarding which math and science class to take in 9th. It feels like too many parents worry about the difference between the accelerated and standard classes and how it will look to colleges — they can move up or down as needed. Let them settle in and enjoy everything outside the classroom, as well.
If you were able to attend the recent DC basketball playoffs or the play last week, you’d see what the community is like: very supportive. Same with the parents, many of which we’ve become friends with. We don’t regret the decision for a second and enjoy being a part of the community.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 09:36
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
I wouldn't describe it as a pressure cooker, but it is challenging and very humbling. Like most of her friends, my daughter came in with a 4.0 and was in for a rude awakening. There is some competitiveness, but in a good way. Her friend group pushes each other to do better, and they challenge each other in that way. She's very happy, and despite the rigor, she loves the school and the experience.
Anonymous
03/19/2025 09:29
Subject: Happiness at Sidwell...
It seems there is a sentiment that Sidwell isn't as joyful as some rival independent schools... at least on this forum. There's this notion that it's a pressure cooker, kids are super competitive and it's not a particularly warm setting.
But, the students we've met during on campus events for prospective and admitted students (which might be a biased sample), seem to love it and praise the environment/culture. They say it's quite collaborative and there's a lot of spirit. The teachers and administrators seem warm and friendly. Also, families we've spoken to seem really happy. And Sidwell alumni we've met are very positive about their experience.
So the question is -- what's the truth? Is it, on balance, a happy place?
Welcome perspectives from Sidwell families, particularly those in the Upper School. Would rather folks who don't have direct ties to the school not chime in with what "they've heard."
Thank you.
But, the students we've met during on campus events for prospective and admitted students (which might be a biased sample), seem to love it and praise the environment/culture. They say it's quite collaborative and there's a lot of spirit. The teachers and administrators seem warm and friendly. Also, families we've spoken to seem really happy. And Sidwell alumni we've met are very positive about their experience.
So the question is -- what's the truth? Is it, on balance, a happy place?
Welcome perspectives from Sidwell families, particularly those in the Upper School. Would rather folks who don't have direct ties to the school not chime in with what "they've heard."
Thank you.