Anonymous wrote:This is the universe telling you they are too old and fragile to travel. Unless you are trying to relocate them to you, it's not worth it. Plane travel is too hard. Take a video of the graduation and go visit. There are so many potential problems with this including them falling while visiting and having to stay in rehab with you indefinitely.

Here's my story. My grandparents flew out for my wedding. They were elderly and fragile but nobody quite realized how far gone they were. One had a seizure/health crisis on the plane, and the airline rerouted the plane midflight to get them to a hospital. So then they were in a city they didn't know, and we didn't know, thousands of miles away, with one of them ill and the other unable to manage daily living.

THis 1000%

Think long and hard about if they should really be flying. My parents are early 80s and last flew at xmas 2019 (pre-Covid). They were fine then, now I wouldn't put them on a plane, we go to them. They think they could fly, but would need to be first class (bigger seats, front of plane). But they would have to drive 3 hours for a direct flight or make connections--and I worry what if they get stranded during the connection due to cancelled/delayed flights. So NOPE not happening.

Also, think how it would actually detract from your kid's graduation if 2 people have to spend all their time "managing the grandparents". It would mean those 2 people are not enjoying the graduation.

I've seen this with weddings---85+ yo grandparents simply don't come to their grandkids weddings, because it would cause the parents to spend the day distracted taking care of their parents.

This is such a bad idea. Reminded me of the post when OP wanted to take parent out of memory care (dementia, incontinent, fail risk) for an over night Thanksgiving trip. One of the few almost total consensus on the DCUM to not do it.

I doubt their doctor would be honest that they should not travel. Even if sort of okay to travel, the event, for your daughter, will all be focused on taking care of them.

I know of 2 cases like this where instead of having the parents stay home and just sending them photos and clips, the family had the parents/grandparents come. In one case the parent had an aide already and they paid her double, flew her out, etc. However, even though they paid her well it was a shady situation where they paid her under the table all along. Not sure someone from a reputable agency could do this. The other case, an aunt took on the task and there was a fall and it overshadowed the whole day-lots of stress, a hospital stay and it upset the graduate greatly.

The day is about the graduate.Let it be a joyful day. If the grandparents are no longer safe for these events, then she can visit them another time and share everything.

Also, graduation ceremonies are really boring. Usually sitting in a stadium for 2 or 3 hours for 5 seconds of watching your family member cross the stage. I guess if there is a party or dinner, that would be more enjoyable.

If you or they insist on them flying to DC, just buy a round-trip ticket for you, fly out to CA, then escort them back. If you hire someone to fly with them, you are still paying for an extra round-trip ticket, plus their time.

Then repeat for the trip home.

And order 2 wheelchairs and attendants to escort them through the airports.

Agree that this won’t work. There is no service like the one you propose that I know of.

If you are desperate for them to come a family member should fly out and assist them.

But, more realistically, they accept that this isn’t practical. We all have to accept our limitations at some point.

Definitely get them wheelchairs from check in to the gate. Ask if their friends have someone to help with getting to the airport. Overall, I think this is a bad idea.

If a family member isn't available to help with this, it's a bad idea.

OP where do they live now? It’s hard to hire people for one off, multi-day jobs. If they live in assisted living or nursing care now, I would start there and see if someone on the staff want to take PTO and do it.

Otherwise you can look on Care.com and those sorts of things. Or I would call elder care agencies and see if maybe they would send you one person for this without getting fully enrolled with them for continuing care? They might. Hard to say. Be friendly and flexible on the phone and you might have to call several.

If they currently live at home independently, imo either send a family member (like a young adult cousin who could use the cash) or the airlines are actually pretty good at getting people through the airport in wheelchairs.

I really don't think they should come, OP. Too hard and stressful for them. Go visit them after the graduation to celebrate on their turf.

Anonymous wrote:This is the universe telling you they are too old and fragile to travel. Unless you are trying to relocate them to you, it's not worth it. Plane travel is too hard. Take a video of the graduation and go visit. There are so many potential problems with this including them falling while visiting and having to stay in rehab with you indefinitely.

Here's my story. My grandparents flew out for my wedding. They were elderly and fragile but nobody quite realized how far gone they were. One had a seizure/health crisis on the plane, and the airline rerouted the plane midflight to get them to a hospital. So then they were in a city they didn't know, and we didn't know, thousands of miles away, with one of them ill and the other unable to manage daily living.

Thank you. Yes, I have this concern and suggested they consult with their doctors about cross country travel. They will listen to their physicians.

This is the universe telling you they are too old and fragile to travel. Unless you are trying to relocate them to you, it's not worth it. Plane travel is too hard. Take a video of the graduation and go visit. There are so many potential problems with this including them falling while visiting and having to stay in rehab with you indefinitely.

Here's my story. My grandparents flew out for my wedding. They were elderly and fragile but nobody quite realized how far gone they were. One had a seizure/health crisis on the plane, and the airline rerouted the plane midflight to get them to a hospital. So then they were in a city they didn't know, and we didn't know, thousands of miles away, with one of them ill and the other unable to manage daily living.

Thank you so much. Ideally, I would like to hire a person to fly with them. They will use a motorized car or wheelchair since they can't walk too far. I am more worried they will misplace their license (which has happened) and they may fall getting up in the plane to use restroom. It's a long flight.

It's unclear to me whether you definitely want someone on the plane with them, or possibly want someone on the plane with them.

I think the "being nearby to prevent falls" thing is the biggest problem. It's not realistic to expect someone to prevent two unsteady people from falling at the same time.

Would they be willing to use a wheelchair? The airport will provide them with a chair, and then push them to the gate, and people who use that service get help through security. That would make it easier for one person to help them.

Do they have any in home helpers who could come? Are you thinking that you'll have one person fly out, and then go back and then someone else or the same person fly out to get them? Or are you imagining this person staying here, either to help, or to just have a little vacation?

The difficulty is finding someone you trust with all their personal belongings!

Also, the best way to prevent falls while traveling is to order wheelchairs when you buy the plane tickets. It takes a while to deplane when you've ordered a wheelchair, but it's the safest option, honestly.

My elderly parents are planning on traveling across the country in a couple of months for my daughter's graduation.
Because they are declining (both physically and mentally), I would like to hire someone to drive them to airport, help them check in their luggage, prevent them from losing their license, get them to the correct gate, and be nearby to prevent any falls. They do not have a walker or cane and have fallen several times.

Is there a service who I can hire to assist them? They are flying from Calif. to DC. I can pay for an airline ticket for an eldercare helper to ensure their safety.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.