Shattering the Silence Coalition has an online support group for families that have lost a person to suicide. It’s managed by well-trained peers and is free.

Check in frequently even if it is a hey I’m gonna drop off xyz or hey I’m thinking about you, etc. Do not disappear after a week or two, even if she doesn’t respond to any of your messages. That is when it is the worst when it feels like everyone has already moved on.

Anonymous wrote:Whose adult child committed suicide?

Is there anything other than kind words and offer to be there and do whatever they need?

I think everyone is different with what they need and it changes with stages of grief. Just knowing you care makes a difference. I would give her choices of how you might be helpful and see if she can pinpoint anything. There may come a time down the line where instead of wanting empathy/meals/a supportive ear, she/he just wants everyone to treat her normally and not like a grieving parent. So at that point you shift and try to create normalcy. It's tough, but you are making a difference by not avoiding your grieving friend which happens too.

Just tell her you are sorry for her loss, and listen. Let her scream, cry, talk, whatever. Just walk with her. Validate her emotions. She has to go through it all, you can't do anything to "make her feel better," you can just be there. As time goes by, most parents really struggle with the way their circles sort of put the kids away. Be a person that still remembers her kid and shares memories.

Try to work with others to figure out what is helpful- meals, help with other children, pets, it just depends.

When my friend's husband committed, a lot of us went to an online support forum for advice. We were mostly afraid of saying the wrong thing because I think people tend to want to give well meaning and thoughtful words or answers to things but it can be the wrong thing to say. My friend used to HATE how people would say she shouldn't fault herself for not seeing the signs. Even if it wasn't true, of course she was going to feel that way. And someone not knowing what she's going through telling her how not to feel drove her nuts.

Whose adult child committed suicide?

Is there anything other than kind words and offer to be there and do whatever they need?