You might want to check out the All Caps All Her program run by the Washington Capitals at Medstar. They have learn to play sessions just for girls Saturdays 9:30-10:30. https://www.capsyouthhockey.com/girlsltp

These are much less crowded than your normal learn to play sessions which are also primarily little kids, so could be a safer more confidence boosting environment for her.

Agree with suggestions to focus on skating and mastering fundamentals (stride, turns, stood and starts, using both edges). If she’s committed to learning how to skate, I would do an intro hockey class at cabin John or go to a try hockey for a day clinic that the Caps run. House leagues will be her next stop. Montgomery youth hockey is at Rockville rink and probably your best option. They have beginner girls teams as well as competitive travel teams.

As for equipment, you do not have to break the bank at this stage. It is worth it to go get professionally fitted at a place like Pure Hockey in Rockville—especially for skates. Invest in the skates for the skating lessons (the rink skates are terrible) and that way she can also go to open skates.

Thanks you so much for the helpful suggestions, you guys are amazing!
OP

Would sign up for the learn to skate lessons and the hockey lessons at Cabin John simultaneously. You literally can't have too much time on the ice. If she progresses through at least Hockey 3 she could play House League at a club.

If she's into it, sure. I started as an adult and have a blast playing in a ladies' league. Just be realistic about where it is going, which is to say the kids who play competitive hockey started skating between 2 and 4.

Rinks closest to Bethesda are Cabin John, Rockville, Wheaton, Wells and Medstar in Ballston.

It depends where in Bethesda you are for where the nearest program is.

Right now - it is most important to learn to skate. Skating fundamentals (on hockey skates) will enable the rest of it to be fun.

Get skating lessons at the closest rink and make a commitment to practice skating 1 time a week outside of the lessons. Here is the link for parks and rec: https://montgomeryparks.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Program-Guide-Winter-2024-PRESS_a11y_Tennis-Update.pdf
(Jump to page 74 - Winter term 2)

She will NOT want to be in these classes because there are little kids in them. (ages 6-12) but this is how it works.

You can typically get equipment 2nd hand.

How old is your DD? They also have Free equipment for learn to play hockey programs.
https://www.capsyouthhockey.com/futurecaps

My preteen DD wants to start playing hockey. Right now she’s a shaky skater, but improving fast as she’s very motivated and practices a lot. We don’t know anything about hockey, she’s been playing soccer competitively but this season her team got clobbered too many times and I feel she’s getting discouraged. My concern is the hockey is just a “fad” and she’ll give it up once the going gets tough (happened with swimming, where she was super motivated until she failed the swim team, same with gymnastics, in short we have a pattern of being very excited until it gets hard and then her motivation drops). I was just checking the equipment cost and it’s serious (I would want the best at least where the helmet is concerned, and overall I want her well protected). So what’s your advice - do I go with this, risking that after a good investment in equipment and lessons she flakes out, or tell her to use her own savings (she’s saving for a car), which I suspect might change her mind about the whole thing? If I support, what’s a good way to help her get up to speed with the sport so she has a chance to make a team? And which teams are there in Bethesda? Help, hockey moms!!! I’m so ignorant in this sport!