She shouldn’t be having milk after brushing teeth either so nip that in the bud or you’ll be paying for cavities

What time are you putting them to sleep and what time are they getting up? Do you need to wake them up?

OP here. Thanks for the thoughts so far. She is in full day preschool and there’s quiet time but she doesn’t nap. We aim to leave the room at 7.15 but last night when I posted in frustration it was after 8 by the time she fell asleep.

She doesn’t really come out of her room after we leave, but it’s us leaving the room that causes the drama. She wants more hugs, more kisses, more back rubs, more milk etc. then loses it when we say no more and we are leaving. Then it’s crying and yelling to come back. I try to stay strong and not go back in, but that’s where my husband and I disagree. He goes back in to calm her, which usually works, whereas I think we need to stay strong and not give in bc I feel like that teaches her to just whine and then she gets what she wants. I just want her to go to sleep. I don’t love the idea of telling her she can do whatever she wants in bed bc I want to make she’s getting enough sleep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean it sounds like you need to do a version of CIO for a 5-year-old. Just leave. We dealt with some drama for a time period with my typically very good sleeper toddler and finally put the boundaries we *and mostly she* needed which made a world of difference in her behavior. Sleep deprivation in preschoolers is no joke and can lead to all kinds of madness, including incorrect medical diagnoses.

I don't understand how you do CIO at that age. With an infant in a crib it makes sense. My kid just keeps leaving her room. She's not crying, just won't stay in there.

Is the issue that she’s clingy or she’s deliberately disobeying night after night? If the latter, you have a bigger issue than bedtime. She clearly doesn’t respect you as the parent. Big yikes.

Put four quarters on her bedside table. For each time she comes out she has to give you a quarter. If she doesn’t come out she keeps all the money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean it sounds like you need to do a version of CIO for a 5-year-old. Just leave. We dealt with some drama for a time period with my typically very good sleeper toddler and finally put the boundaries we *and mostly she* needed which made a world of difference in her behavior. Sleep deprivation in preschoolers is no joke and can lead to all kinds of madness, including incorrect medical diagnoses.

I don't understand how you do CIO at that age. With an infant in a crib it makes sense. My kid just keeps leaving her room. She's not crying, just won't stay in there.

She’s almost 5. Give her a consequence for coming out.
Reward for staying in there until X time in the morning until the habit resets.

Investigate the Supernanny technique. Very limited conversatIon and walk them back to their bed every.single.time. This could take a few hours the first night, but your child will figure out that you are not budging. You currently have some bad habits that you need to correct. Good luck.

https://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Routine-and-Teamwork/Bedtime-Routine.aspx

We bought a star machine and a fun nightlight and basically made the rule you need to stay in bed but can do whatever you want. She can look at books in bed, watch the stars , listen to stories, etc. It removes the power struggle of them feeling you are forcing them to go to sleep, which is impossible.

Make the room and the bed inviting and let them go to sleep whatever way they want.

And yes absolutely no more naps, but that should be obvious.

Have you tried sleep stories? We use the calm app for our 4 year old and it works really well. We can leave the room after we read our last book put on a story and she’s usually asleep pretty quickly and doesn’t dwell on being alone in the room. It’s made bedtime so much easier.

The stories are 15-40 min long depending on the story. They have paw patrol, peppa pig and other stories. We play them on our iPad connected to a Bluetooth speaker.

Anonymous wrote:I mean it sounds like you need to do a version of CIO for a 5-year-old. Just leave. We dealt with some drama for a time period with my typically very good sleeper toddler and finally put the boundaries we *and mostly she* needed which made a world of difference in her behavior. Sleep deprivation in preschoolers is no joke and can lead to all kinds of madness, including incorrect medical diagnoses.

I don't understand how you do CIO at that age. With an infant in a crib it makes sense. My kid just keeps leaving her room. She's not crying, just won't stay in there.

She’s not in daycare and still napping correct?
If she is then that’s your problem and you need to adjust to a later bedtime or find dufferent childcare.
If not napping what time is bedtime? What’s the current routine?

Do it the exact same way every night, without getting upset. It’s okay if they are sad or mad or cry. You don’t argue, get mad, or change anything.

Do the Supernanny technique. If you stick to it, should be resolved in less than a week.

I mean it sounds like you need to do a version of CIO for a 5-year-old. Just leave. We dealt with some drama for a time period with my typically very good sleeper toddler and finally put the boundaries we *and mostly she* needed which made a world of difference in her behavior. Sleep deprivation in preschoolers is no joke and can lead to all kinds of madness, including incorrect medical diagnoses.

Bed time for nearly 5 year old is drama nearly every night. I’m so sick of it. For the longest time we were stuck in her room with her until she fell asleep. We finally broke that habit but the drama continues. Upset we are leaving, clingy, has a really hard time separating from us. It actually feels worse now than when we stuck in her room until she fell asleep. Any suggestions? I feel like we are stuck in a bad cycle. We’re tired. She’s tired. Everyone is in a bad mood.