Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move your kid to a tech free school rn. You will never get this time back. Do your research and find a TECH FREE school. Even the parochial Catholic schools won’t be good enough in this regard. You have to be in an environment where everyone (parents and teachers) are ALL IN on reading, writing and arithmetic. Waiting until you hope it gets better will undoubtedly end up with you disappointed and your little one uneducated.

There are zero tech-free schools where their students score high in math, reading, or science.

Like another PP said, Montessori schools, Waldorf schools, classical
Schools and some small, private Christian schools that are not in the tech arms race. There are options but one has to do their homework.

I know they have them but none of them are top rated schools. There’s a tiny Waldorf school near us. There’s no screens it’s more play based . They don’t begin to teach reading until about 7 years old. They aren’t assigned specific reading until end of third grade. Their math is play based. It works for some kids but I don’t see it being a better choice for everyone. The parents are kind of weird too.

By college all students will need laptops. At that point they need to be completely tech savvy.

Getting stuck on “top rated” is a fool’s errand. By your own description, your “top rated” district is failing you. Move beyond the public reputation and find a school whose mission aligns with your own. Particularly k-8 these years are critical. You lose a lot of control in the teens years so you want a strong academic foundation. For some kids too-late intervention won’t happen bc the window has closed.

OP's experience rings true to me. My kids are products of a mediumly-successful small suburban town's public school district. I'm not in DMV either.

My kids had a pretty subpar math background in elementary. I sent them to Mathnasium for 3 years each to remedy that. They have exceeded my math skills at the same grade. So that got fixed with money.

I think the caliber of teachers has dropped off a lot since we were kids. Women have more job choices now. And there are a lot of increased teacher job responsibilities even though the pay is low. A lot of the teachers I meet these days are "people people" rather than well-organized academic nerds (which is how I would describe my best K-12 teachers).

OP, I think the situation that you describe is common. I don't think that private school will necessarily fix the problem. Educational trends and teacher shortages affect private schools also. You definitely should look before you leap.

My recent graduate is at a selective flagship. His grades have mostly been very good. I agree with the posters above who said that high school years usually get better because of AP classes and ECs. I traded off academic rigor for my kids' happiness. It usually feels like I made the right decision. But I was always clear-eyed about problems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:K-12 education as offered in public and private schools in US sucks.

You have to supplement their education yourself.

Thank Lucy Calkins “reading” instruction, and other progressive-fads for the dismal state of public education in the U.S.

Oh COME on. Lucy C was a fad but it was not a progressive one. Nice try trying to make this into a political thing.

Anonymous wrote:K-12 education as offered in public and private schools in US sucks.

You have to supplement their education yourself.

Thank Lucy Calkins “reading” instruction, and other progressive-fads for the dismal state of public education in the U.S.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move your kid to a tech free school rn. You will never get this time back. Do your research and find a TECH FREE school. Even the parochial Catholic schools won’t be good enough in this regard. You have to be in an environment where everyone (parents and teachers) are ALL IN on reading, writing and arithmetic. Waiting until you hope it gets better will undoubtedly end up with you disappointed and your little one uneducated.

There are zero tech-free schools where their students score high in math, reading, or science.

Like another PP said, Montessori schools, Waldorf schools, classical
Schools and some small, private Christian schools that are not in the tech arms race. There are options but one has to do their homework.

I know they have them but none of them are top rated schools. There’s a tiny Waldorf school near us. There’s no screens it’s more play based . They don’t begin to teach reading until about 7 years old. They aren’t assigned specific reading until end of third grade. Their math is play based. It works for some kids but I don’t see it being a better choice for everyone. The parents are kind of weird too.

By college all students will need laptops. At that point they need to be completely tech savvy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move your kid to a tech free school rn. You will never get this time back. Do your research and find a TECH FREE school. Even the parochial Catholic schools won’t be good enough in this regard. You have to be in an environment where everyone (parents and teachers) are ALL IN on reading, writing and arithmetic. Waiting until you hope it gets better will undoubtedly end up with you disappointed and your little one uneducated.

There are zero tech-free schools where their students score high in math, reading, or science.

Like another PP said, Montessori schools, Waldorf schools, classical
Schools and some small, private Christian schools that are not in the tech arms race. There are options but one has to do their homework.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move your kid to a tech free school rn. You will never get this time back. Do your research and find a TECH FREE school. Even the parochial Catholic schools won’t be good enough in this regard. You have to be in an environment where everyone (parents and teachers) are ALL IN on reading, writing and arithmetic. Waiting until you hope it gets better will undoubtedly end up with you disappointed and your little one uneducated.

There are zero tech-free schools where their students score high in math, reading, or science.

Montessori schools are tech free for the most part and, if good, deliver an excellent education in all areas. My 2 DC had zero tech in school (K-6th) beyond a once a week 10 minutes on a desktop to research the local news for class announcements.

Anonymous wrote:Move your kid to a tech free school rn. You will never get this time back. Do your research and find a TECH FREE school. Even the parochial Catholic schools won’t be good enough in this regard. You have to be in an environment where everyone (parents and teachers) are ALL IN on reading, writing and arithmetic. Waiting until you hope it gets better will undoubtedly end up with you disappointed and your little one uneducated.

There are zero tech-free schools where their students score high in math, reading, or science.

Move your kid to a tech free school rn. You will never get this time back. Do your research and find a TECH FREE school. Even the parochial Catholic schools won’t be good enough in this regard. You have to be in an environment where everyone (parents and teachers) are ALL IN on reading, writing and arithmetic. Waiting until you hope it gets better will undoubtedly end up with you disappointed and your little one uneducated.

We didn’t sit tight, we supplemented in the areas that DS enjoyed and was bored. In our case, that meant math through RSM and math competitions. Math at school remained boring but we told him that it was great practice and would help him solidify foundational skills. The math at RSM was more engaging. The math competition class challenged him and he found those tests were the ones that he was focused on. The best part about the RSM program was that it intentionally included problems that they knew the kids could not solve so that the kids learned how to ask questions and deal with the frustration that comes from not figuring it out solo, which can be a challenge for kids who are ahead.

He was ahead in his other subjects but they didn’t engage him in the same way. We bought him books that were challenging to read and asked him about what he was reading. We watch documentaries about historical events and scientific topics. All of that keeps him engaged and gives him a way to explore different topics outside of school.

He selects a mixture of camps that are outdoor and fun and STEM based in class camps.

MS has been better. He isn’t super challenged but he says his classes are interesting and none of them are really easy. I expect things to become challenging, or at least fully interesting, in HS.

K-12 education as offered in public and private schools in US sucks.

You have to supplement their education yourself.

Ours didn’t ramp up until AP classes were offered.

The number of interesting extra curriculars available increased in middle school and the kids who were motivated spent a lot of time on those during and after school from 6-11th grade. Engineering, theatre, music, model un, debate, the newspaper, etc.

That matches my experience at a public elementary. Things picked up in middle school, and everything was full steam ahead in high school. Many high schoolers struggle of course because their daffy elementary teachers didn’t teach them to spell or show them maps or teach them to read & write.

I have a 4th grader at an expensive private that everyone aspires to go to in my area, and if I hadn’t looked at the date and timestamp I would have assumed that I had written this a few years ago and it had been bumped by a recent reply. My Dd did have a standout 3rd grade teacher who was a true star and really pushed her forward in writing and math. But otherwise I think that the vast majority of schools are tailored toward the struggling kid, and that’s a shame because they don’t seem to actually be helping the struggling kids. It’s a mess.

Warning, this is a long post


I moved to our top rated district from the city (not DC). Every single parent, former residents of the state, realtors, and people on anonymous Facebook groups, Reddit, DCUM, citydata and greatschools said I could not go wrong and that the schools were top notch. Class sizes are only 18-20 and each class has an aide who comes in for at least 75% of the day.

Well I have not been happy with our elementary since kindergarten when DD was handed an iPad at school and sent home with Fountas & Pinnell graded readers (result: she did not learn to read. Thankfully someone on this board recommended a phonics book which I worked through with her!).

1st grade was still blah though the teacher actually taught phonics and I calmed myself by telling myself school at this age is really just for socialization. iPad use continued but at least she brought home a weekly in-class handwritten piece (usually 3-4 sentences and a picture). It wasn’t at all edited, spelling was never corrected, but at least I could see the work. Class seemed to be about trying to curb behaviors from a couple of kids while struggling to get some contenders to learn to read.

In 2nd grade now and the school is doubling down on kindness and inclusion projects (like writing a snowflake wish or painting kindness rocks), random fundraisers, and continuing with spirit week every single quarter. The teacher seems to show movies one a month if not more. There are still behavioral issues that seem to steer the classwork (though nothing like that I read here sometimes about repeated violence in the classroom!). The daily iPad use continues. I get no graded work, the kids don’t write on paper, and they are still using number line and manipulative to demonstrate 1-20 addition and subtraction. Basically I feel like school is a waste of time apart from socialization, and I try to cram in most of the teaching and learning in the hour and a half after school. My kid is doing fine academically and behaviorally, but I also feel like a bad parent.

My question is - do academic and behavioral expectations at public elementary school ramp up suddenly in 3rd or 4th grade and I just have to wait until then? I keep hearing on this board that it’s sink or swim in a year or two, that the expectations go way up and kids begin to struggle. Will school become more what I was used to growing up rather than a fun free for all? Are my expectations too high? I actually went to a crappy middle of nowhere public school where lots of kids dropped out of high school and felt I got more of an education than she’s been getting at school so far. I recently found a 2nd grade writing piece I did as a kid. No way would they do anything close to that at school.

But I did expect her school would at a minimum teach phonics in k-1, that they would be working on double if not triple digit addition and subtraction by 2nd grade, and that they would work on writing and spelling at least a little bit on paper every week.

Has public education just completely collapsed and I need to just go private either now or starting in 6th? But everyone in my area seems to send their kids to public, because the publics are “so great,” so it seems we would have to commute into the city to go to a top private (if she could even get in).