Music that she has loved throughout her life.

Could she do something simple like color or string beads? Or is that beyond her?
Could she have a cat or other such pet that just likes to lie around?

Memory care is a big business. I live in vilified Canada and take the SAGE test from the University of Ohio every time I get any memory lapse. When I slip I will apply for medical aid in dying which is legal here now for Alzheimer's as long as you're still in the competent stages. I think it's selfish and a waste of money to expect children or an army of low status women to be your "caregivers."

I feel lucky to have an out that nobody in the US has. My lifetime of savings can better be spent on helping a younger person buy a house and get established than handing it over to the elder-care-industry. I will let God judge me for checking out early.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, there is money to cover about three years of memory care. I am holding out until she, and I, really need it. Plus, not sure if Medicaid will be a thing when she runs out of money, so I am trying to be conservative with her money.

We do have an adult day care center close by. However, my mother is very hard of hearing and English is her second language. I feel like taking her there would be way more of a disruption, than a benefit.

I know I could do more to keeo her engaged, but to what point? This disease is just cruel.

Don’t waste money on memory care and don’t bother with daycare. Let her watch tv. Save the money for the time she’ll become restless and will need supervision (at which point breaking a hip will be a blessing which sounds horrible but it’s easier to care for an immobile patient with dementia and such).
These are all American concepts (enrichment, etc) don’t get fooled

OP here. Yes, there is money to cover about three years of memory care. I am holding out until she, and I, really need it. Plus, not sure if Medicaid will be a thing when she runs out of money, so I am trying to be conservative with her money.

We do have an adult day care center close by. However, my mother is very hard of hearing and English is her second language. I feel like taking her there would be way more of a disruption, than a benefit.

I know I could do more to keeo her engaged, but to what point? This disease is just cruel.

OP, if you need a break, that's different. Give yourself a break. Or move her elsewhere. You won't be a bad person. You do not need to be the one - having her live with you. But again, you haven't answered the money question so maybe you do.

See if your local adult day center takes dementia patients that far along. Often, they have graduated pricing based on income so it may be quite affordable. You get a break all day and she gets a new setting with new faces, friendly staff and little activities with music, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Smaller private places that are homelike are pretty similar to what you are offering your mom in terms of space.

My husband's grandma was either in her room or in the main area on the couch watching TV. She mainly ignored the other residents since she didn't know them. They were just moving through her space and sitting nearby like a cat can be.

You are also providing your mom access to her loving family and a comparatively germ-free environment.

You don't need to feel like you're not doing enough. You are doing enough.

Speaking of cats...there are robot companion cats for the elderly. Some people really enjoy those.

https://joyforall.com/products/companion-cats?srsltid=AfmBOop0eo2S9zirQET7tGBPwGDEdDreHImLU5WtI1xHg_0XgDeoO0d3

All of this, so true.

All this enrichment is bull, you’ve already done enough by taking her in, it won’t get better no matter how much you “enrich” her.
Does she even recognize you at this point.

In stage 6 of dementia if your mother is happy watching movies all day, then so be it. You are doing enough.

Smaller private places that are homelike are pretty similar to what you are offering your mom in terms of space.

My husband's grandma was either in her room or in the main area on the couch watching TV. She mainly ignored the other residents since she didn't know them. They were just moving through her space and sitting nearby like a cat can be.

You are also providing your mom access to her loving family and a comparatively germ-free environment.

You don't need to feel like you're not doing enough. You are doing enough.

Speaking of cats...there are robot companion cats for the elderly. Some people really enjoy those.

https://joyforall.com/products/companion-cats?srsltid=AfmBOop0eo2S9zirQET7tGBPwGDEdDreHImLU5WtI1xHg_0XgDeoO0d3

You have to do what you have to do Op, even if not ideal. Again, what financial resources does she have? Not what her children have, what she has.

My Dad was well taken care of in the dementia wing of a retirement facility. Lots of interaction with others.

Is there money for her to be in another place?

I am only child taking care of my 87 yr old mother with alzheimer. I quit my job and moved her into our house with my family. I feel guilty for not spending time playing enrichment games with her, but I feel I have done enough as it is. She is safe and healthy. She is about stage 6 now. I just don’t have the energy to keep her busy. She stays in her room watching movies all day, while I take care of other things around tbe house.

Are any of you in a similar situation?