Anonymous wrote:You lasted 4 hours of the 28 hours of scheduled content? I wouldn’t say you gave it a fair shot. Regardless, if you felt confident it was a waste of your time, there’s no harm in acknowledging it wasn’t a fit and now you know you don’t need to go again. Don’t overthink it

+1

Anonymous wrote:Also, you spoke to people 5-10 minutes at a time, that’s PLENTY

This. It’s rude to monopolize someone’s time at a conference.

Also, you spoke to people 5-10 minutes at a time, that’s PLENTY

Echoing a PP, what did you expect? People would fall over themselves to talk to you?

You usually meet random interesting people at lunch unless tables are assigned.

When you see people speak, even if you don't meet them onsite, you can refer to listening to the talk if you want to cold call them.

When I went to conferences, it was more for the actual talks. I've also learned that free conferences can be just as good as expensive ones.

Yes, you should have gone to the conference instead of go to a few hours and ditch it. WTF

NP You stayed only for 4 hours of 28 hours of scheduled events. Seems like you expected too much too soon possibly due to insecurities felt by you. You should have stayed for the entire conference & for the social hours.

You lasted 4 hours of the 28 hours of scheduled content? I wouldn’t say you gave it a fair shot. Regardless, if you felt confident it was a waste of your time, there’s no harm in acknowledging it wasn’t a fit and now you know you don’t need to go again. Don’t overthink it

Did you learn something from the speakers? Maybe learn about a new organization or approach? Did you get the contact of someone who you can connect with later? Maybe you’ve built your LinkedIn network a bit?

If so you did what conferences do.

I hate conferences, personally, because I always feel awkward and lonely. But if you try to just let it be what it will be - a couple days of listening to speakers, and maybe getting some business cards - you can be more at peace with it.

Have you been to a conference before? I am not sure what you were expecting.

You seem to think everyone there would be focused on you and become instant friends and clients or partners.

I think your perception of a conference is off. You were only there for 4 hours.

^ so my takeaway is - are you usually this hard on yourself? (“Screwed up?”).

I’d use this experience as an opportunity to reflect on that.

It doesn’t sound like you could have done anything differently, other than stay the whole time doing the exact same thing (which sounds pretty pointless). I’m wondering why you seem to be perceiving it as such a personal failure rather than “hmm, this isn’t what I thought it would be, there’s no point in me staying. Oh well.”

You need to hit the hotel bar after hours. That’s where the networking takes place.

Sounds like you now know the format and what to expect for next year. And can use the time leading up to it to set up meetings ahead of time and be more involved. Consider it a learning experience, work the contacts you made and you can get more out of it next time.

I just had a difficult professional experience and would be grateful for insights/advice.

I'm in leadership in a very niche field - there really isn't a developed sector of competitors or industry events. I don't usually go to conferences. Someone recommended a big conference in an adjacent area as a great opportunity to find contacts, partners, etc. So I went. They did not have a list of attendees or speakers in advance.

When I got there, I realized that everyone had come with others and/or had a schedule of closed meetings or private events. I actually saw a few people I knew, but after talking for a bit, they all had to run to their VIP meetings or go back to their actual group or go chase down someone else.

The official program was in one huge room, there wasn't any opportunity for Q&A, talking to speakers, etc. Most speakers were super high profile and were bundled out of the room by their staff as soon as they finished their brief remarks. Most people weren't listening to the speakers, everyone seemed very busy running back and forth.

I tried my best to approach and meet new people - sitting next to them in the big room, circulating outside where people were standing, coming up to a couple less famous speakers, etc. But (a) nearly everyone was in a group or on the phone and kept brushing me off and (b) even with those I talked to, 5-10 minutes later they went back to their groups or their next meeting. They did seem interested in my work and we exchanged information, but it was just like "Great, we should partner, let's get in touch after, bye". Everyone had their own dinner and lunch plans already with their groups or contacts.

It was really awkward and lonely, and I left way early. It was supposed to be 2 days 7AM-9PM, but after like 4 hours of alternating between listening to irrelevant speeches and going around the hallways trying to meet people (only to have to find someone new after 5-10 minutes), I just couldn't take it anymore.

Could I have done something differently? The people I knew / met were clearly busy and couldn't "adopt" me for the duration of the conference. As it was, they went out of their way to chat with me and introduce me to others (who were also busy and ran off quickly).