Not sure what age you are talking about but my kid is 5 and playdates definitely are more something we do with parents we get along with. Otherwise it is torture. So there"s absolutely something there about parents choosing the friends but it's not always about looks. In preschool, I approached the moms that didn't seem cliquey.

Anonymous wrote:Money
Looks

You are surprised?

Kids don’t have money so that doesn’t matter.

This happened with my 4th grade DD this year. She was best friends with a girl in her class. My DD swears nothing happened between them, but her friend just stopped talking to her one day and would only hang out with the daughter of a PTO mom.

It was so cliche I couldn't believe it was real life.

I invite the kids back who behave at my house and don't trash it/spend the entire time whining for things.

I think most of the time when someone on dcum says that this is happening, it’s totally in their head.

Anonymous wrote:For sure. In middle school the girl moms start engineering with the cute/athletic boys too.

OP here. I also have a son and I don’t think the parents did this with boys or I didn’t notice it the same way. DS got invited to a lot of parties. He is athletic and I guess the boys are mostly the athletic boys.

I do remember one mom saying another mom was all about socializing with only popular kids.

Money
Looks

You are surprised?

For sure. In middle school the girl moms start engineering with the cute/athletic boys too.

Where do you live? You need to move to another neighborhood. Our neighborhood isn’t like that.

Anonymous wrote:What age?

Usually it is the moms inviting their own friends’ kids, more than anything.

They are early elementary. It seemed like the mom cherry picked only the pretty girls and left out the not attractive girls.

They want good photos.

This also went on long ago, not necessarily appearance, but maybe some other thing the parent organizing playdates cared about. I lived in the wrong neighborhood, so I never got an invite.

I send out an invite to whoever my DD asks to have a playdate with. I invite them back regardless of looks, more dependent on their behavior.

What age?

Usually it is the moms inviting their own friends’ kids, more than anything.

I didn’t think this existed. I’m beginning to see it with my daughter. Certain moms seem to only invite the pretty girls to play dates and parties. Seems like it starts young!

I always thought the girls chose the friends but I can see some moms are making the guest lists.