Only lazy people (both men and women) have “aspirations” to stay at home. Tell him to kick rocks.

DH "retired" early at 60 and is a sahd/house husband. He does some things well, but the cleaning and laundry are much to be desired. I still have to remind him when the laundry needs doing or how the toilet is disgusting and needs to be cleaned.

Sorry, but I don't find a man who wants to be a sahd all that appealing.

Run as far away as you can. Of course he wants to live off you.

He's feeling you out OP. Many women date men too long and waste years, don't be one of them.

I would retort back letting him know once you have kids you will probably stay home until they are out of high school. You will know what kind of man you have right there.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known multiple female lawyers where this just happened over time. Lawyer is making $350k as an associate and husband is making $100k at SAIC. They have the second kid and realize they are going to be paying $50k in childcare. Husband staying home is the obvious choice.

I know several female lawyers whose spouses quit working and became SAHDs as default. All of these ended in divorce.

Do you have any friends who want a hose husband? I always wanted one, but could never find one when I was dating. Maybe you can swap with someone

Test him out. Have him do All the household chores cooking cleaning groceries changing lightbulbs deep cleaning windows and bedding. If it’s consistent and pristine it’s possible to reverse traditional role. Then decide if you want to be a breadwinner.

Signed breadwinner mom

He’s not joking. Sounds lazy.

Have the talk a precious poster suggested. And if you insist on staying with him, tell him
you want a prenup. Bring it up ASAP.

I had a BF like this. He eventually quit his job and refused to get a new one, then started pressuring me to have a baby (pretty sure he was trying to baby trap me).

I would be SUPER diligent about birth control. You also need to have a conversation with him that you don’t want a house husband - he may take your silence as an indicator you’re okay with it.

Break up.

Well, my DH loves that idea and he is super ambitious and would never actually stay home. He lacks patience and skills to be a stay home dad AND our kids have grown and fliwn.

I’ve known multiple female lawyers where this just happened over time. Lawyer is making $350k as an associate and husband is making $100k at SAIC. They have the second kid and realize they are going to be paying $50k in childcare. Husband staying home is the obvious choice.

Make jokes about prenups

Be direct. "You keep making jokes about this and I'm not sure if there's some truth underneath about you wanting to actually become this. Is there?"

And look, what do you want out of a husband? Can he fulfill those qualities you want? If not, cut him loose.

My boyfriend keeps making jokes about becoming a house husband. he is not particularly ambitious at all. put has other redeeming qualities. I’m not sure how to know if his jokes have some truth to them, because there is no way I want a house husband.