I went through this growing up and am seeing it with my kids now. My older sister and I did the same sport for many years because we are only 1 year apart and it was easier for my parents that way. We happened to be good at the same things within that sport (natural talent that came from somewhere, I guess) and we would directly compete against each other. She was better than me for awhile, but then I grew bigger/taller and started getting better. As we got to middle school we each added other sports but in a less serious way. In high school I went all in on the original sport and she went the other direction, choosing a to quit club and only compete for the school team while doing more of the other sports. I think it was hard for her to deal with her little sister being better and she also just didn’t have the work ethic I did. Funny enough now she’s a very hard worker and I have chosen a more flexible/chill job.

Now I have two kids three years apart. The older one is pretty athletic and works hard. The younger one has good height/size but is not as much of a natural and not aggressive. It’s tough because the older one is doing travel/club for two sports because that’s what they need in order to have appropriate competition. The younger one is asking when they will do travel and I don’t have the heart to tell them I don’t want to spend the $ for a kid who doesn’t need it in order to be challenged appropriately. Trying to kick that can down the road a little longer and make it more about work ethic, saying the younger one can try out if we see them working hard like their sibling.

What can you do? There’s nothing to do. Our daughter is more athletic and always has been. She has more drive too. They know it and see it. They played different sports. Our son had the height and the build. If he has her ability and drive who knows what could have happened. In the end, everyone needs to play for enjoyment and that’s what we focus on.

Anonymous wrote:Mine flop back and forth. 2.5 years apart. Both were good at different times over the years. Base level good--but sometimes the little one was kicking butt and getting accolades and the older one was getting cut and back and forth like that.

Now older one is D1 and has more drive. Physically he is much more stocky/muscular. The younger one is more agile skinny.

Skill wise they are both technically sound. It was hard when one was getting attention while the other was facing crushing blows. The younger one was loved and it wasn't until the first time he got royally screwed over in the sport that he finally understood what his brother went through a lot. The older one was like Charlie Brown--things never went his way. Beloved coach leaves, new one cuts him. Injury right before a tryout. Birth year change at critical age, etc, etc. Part of it is knowledge as parents, we saw the ways are older one got screwed over and we knew what to avoid with the younger one who benefited from the mistakes we made with older brother.

BUT--the older one is gritty as hell from all the crap he went through. He really had to want it to keep playing after some of the shenanigans he faced from people that were supposed to be 'adults'.

Awww! This made me sad! He sounds like my oldest. No, he was not the greatest athlete ... but he also had a ton of bad luck.

We have two boys and a girl. Our DD is the best athlete. It's OK -- great for her confidence, and the boys have always been very respectful.

Between them, the bad luck kid opted for running and that was a good fit, and the other grew into his body and had some last-minute success as a high school athlete.

So, I would say, let them play. I'm glad my kids never stopped trying different sports, but they all had ups and downs!

They know, nothing to do about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine flop back and forth. 2.5 years apart. Both were good at different times over the years. Base level good--but sometimes the little one was kicking butt and getting accolades and the older one was getting cut and back and forth like that.

Now older one is D1 and has more drive. Physically he is much more stocky/muscular. The younger one is more agile skinny.

Skill wise they are both technically sound. It was hard when one was getting attention while the other was facing crushing blows. The younger one was loved and it wasn't until the first time he got royally screwed over in the sport that he finally understood what his brother went through a lot. The older one was like Charlie Brown--things never went his way. Beloved coach leaves, new one cuts him. Injury right before a tryout. Birth year change at critical age, etc, etc. Part of it is knowledge as parents, we saw the ways are older one got screwed over and we knew what to avoid with the younger one who benefited from the mistakes we made with older brother.

BUT--the older one is gritty as hell from all the crap he went through. He really had to want it to keep playing after some of the shenanigans he faced from people that were supposed to be 'adults'.

Which sport?

soccer

Bums

We have this issue, and it’s hard. They play different sports which helps. The less skilled kid has a narrative that his sibling is just “lucky” but doesn’t acknowledge the hard work his brother puts in.

I don’t have a lot of strategies to offer.

Anonymous wrote:Mine flop back and forth. 2.5 years apart. Both were good at different times over the years. Base level good--but sometimes the little one was kicking butt and getting accolades and the older one was getting cut and back and forth like that.

Now older one is D1 and has more drive. Physically he is much more stocky/muscular. The younger one is more agile skinny.

Skill wise they are both technically sound. It was hard when one was getting attention while the other was facing crushing blows. The younger one was loved and it wasn't until the first time he got royally screwed over in the sport that he finally understood what his brother went through a lot. The older one was like Charlie Brown--things never went his way. Beloved coach leaves, new one cuts him. Injury right before a tryout. Birth year change at critical age, etc, etc. Part of it is knowledge as parents, we saw the ways are older one got screwed over and we knew what to avoid with the younger one who benefited from the mistakes we made with older brother.

BUT--the older one is gritty as hell from all the crap he went through. He really had to want it to keep playing after some of the shenanigans he faced from people that were supposed to be 'adults'.

Which sport?

They play different sports and aren’t on teams. They play for the love of it. That’s the solution.

Mine flop back and forth. 2.5 years apart. Both were good at different times over the years. Base level good--but sometimes the little one was kicking butt and getting accolades and the older one was getting cut and back and forth like that.

Now older one is D1 and has more drive. Physically he is much more stocky/muscular. The younger one is more agile skinny.

Skill wise they are both technically sound. It was hard when one was getting attention while the other was facing crushing blows. The younger one was loved and it wasn't until the first time he got royally screwed over in the sport that he finally understood what his brother went through a lot. The older one was like Charlie Brown--things never went his way. Beloved coach leaves, new one cuts him. Injury right before a tryout. Birth year change at critical age, etc, etc. Part of it is knowledge as parents, we saw the ways are older one got screwed over and we knew what to avoid with the younger one who benefited from the mistakes we made with older brother.

BUT--the older one is gritty as hell from all the crap he went through. He really had to want it to keep playing after some of the shenanigans he faced from people that were supposed to be 'adults'.

Has this come up with any families, two kids that are passionate about sports but one is much more talented? How did you deal with it and did it become an issue later on as they became older?