This is OP. Yes she’s doing well in school, although complains about it all the time. She does keep to herself at school and it seems like she doesn’t have friends this year. I say it seems like it because she mentions listening to music with her earbuds in on the bus and during lunch. Listening to music is her happy place. I do worry about that as well. But she’s happy on her own and is a big introvert who also couldn’t care less about being alone.
I know people will say she needs therapy but she would never go for it.

Is she happy and doing her best in school?

My 16 year old dd doesn’t shave her pits. She showers and is clean, but it honestly drives me crazy. Dark hair, no mistaking it. Some of her friends are the same, but they all seem more fair haired so it’s not as obvious.

I think it’s a rebellious streak. Don’t control me or my body. As long as she’s clean it’s ok. Some kids wear the same sweatshirt every day for the entire winter.

Is she doing well otherwise? Good grades?

Set rules for cleanliness and appropriateness and leave her alone. Surely she doesn’t need to be a fashion plate at every moment of her life.

My DD literally does not pay attention to her appearance at all. To the point that she’ll sometimes wear the same t-shirt two days in a row to school. And the shirt is an old one with her middle school’s logo or a free one she got from an event or something. It’s not that she doesn’t have current clothes to wear but I do avoid buying her things now since she’ll ignore them (even if she picked them out) and still wear the old ones. This is the same girl who was obsessed with pretty dresses and just plain dressing up when she was in elementary and younger.
Anyone else have a girl like this? I try not to say anything but it’s kind of shocking how little she notices her appearance. It’s not a hygiene thing since she does shower every day.