Anonymous
Post 01/23/2025 11:29     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
OP’s mom’s “memory care” is about $11,000 per month? Not sure what’s included in that but my parents are in private assisted living (1 w/ memory care) and pay about $9,000 for both of them.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2025 10:03     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no idea on your mom's lifestyle prior to entering memory care...but I would imagine that my own expenses just to exist as a single person and have a decent lifestyle (restaurant meals several times per month, travel, rent/mortgage/home maintenance, utilities, groceries, etc.) would probably be like $6,500/month.

I don't know if $139k per year is a nice facility or not...but I guess I look at this as I am paying an additional $50k per year for the memory care facility vs. my expenses on my own.

I don't know if people think that's excessive or not...but it seems reasonable to me.


NP. When it is even more difficult is when there is a spouse that is fine and still living in their home. Then the base expense isn't eliminated, but the memory care and potential aides are added.

Eldercare if needed is a huge problem for many people.


I agree, just making the point that everyone has to pay money to live so it's not $139k per year vs. nearly $0.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2025 09:22     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Anonymous wrote:I have no idea on your mom's lifestyle prior to entering memory care...but I would imagine that my own expenses just to exist as a single person and have a decent lifestyle (restaurant meals several times per month, travel, rent/mortgage/home maintenance, utilities, groceries, etc.) would probably be like $6,500/month.

I don't know if $139k per year is a nice facility or not...but I guess I look at this as I am paying an additional $50k per year for the memory care facility vs. my expenses on my own.

I don't know if people think that's excessive or not...but it seems reasonable to me.


NP. When it is even more difficult is when there is a spouse that is fine and still living in their home. Then the base expense isn't eliminated, but the memory care and potential aides are added.

Eldercare if needed is a huge problem for many people.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2025 09:09     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Thanks for sharing.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2025 07:59     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Oh yes, it's very expensive. Prepare for the costs to probably quadruple in the next 4 years as more boomers age and more private equity firms take over the assisted living homes, and medicade/medicare are eliminated.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2025 21:05     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thank you OP- how old is your mom?


She’s 83. She did a year in independent living, eight months in assisted living and now she’s been in memory care for a year. Cognitive decline was evident for a year or two prior to independent living. Dementia is just the worst.

Even with good finances and care it is still terribly painful, OP. I’m sorry.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2025 21:02     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Anonymous wrote:Thank you OP- how old is your mom?


She’s 83. She did a year in independent living, eight months in assisted living and now she’s been in memory care for a year. Cognitive decline was evident for a year or two prior to independent living. Dementia is just the worst.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2025 20:19     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Thank you OP- how old is your mom?
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 09:26     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
I have no idea on your mom's lifestyle prior to entering memory care...but I would imagine that my own expenses just to exist as a single person and have a decent lifestyle (restaurant meals several times per month, travel, rent/mortgage/home maintenance, utilities, groceries, etc.) would probably be like $6,500/month.

I don't know if $139k per year is a nice facility or not...but I guess I look at this as I am paying an additional $50k per year for the memory care facility vs. my expenses on my own.

I don't know if people think that's excessive or not...but it seems reasonable to me.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2025 20:10     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds about what I’d expect, sorry to say.

Question is can her finances sustain that for as long as necessary?[/quote]

Yes they can, since[/quote]

Since the money is coming out monthly or as needed and not all at once. Time will tell though depending on how long this lasts.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2025 20:08     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Anonymous wrote:Sounds about what I’d expect, sorry to say.

Question is can her finances sustain that for as long as necessary?


Yes they can, since
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2025 19:31     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Sounds about what I’d expect, sorry to say.

Question is can her finances sustain that for as long as necessary?
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2025 18:36     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
Anonymous wrote:So was the medical part covered by insurance or out of pocket? I assume the memory care is fully out of pocket?


Memory care is completely out of pocket. The medical expenses were after insurance paid their part (about $15k of the $20k was for a round the clock sitter in rehab).
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2025 17:21     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
So was the medical part covered by insurance or out of pocket? I assume the memory care is fully out of pocket?
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2025 17:14     Subject: Added up costs for 2024
I just started working on my mom’s 2024 taxes. She’s in memory care but had a hospital stay followed by three weeks of rehab last year (and three weeks of out of pocket 24/7 care while she was there). Memory care was $139k, medical was another $20k (most of the medical was the 24/7 care at about $5k/week, she has great health insurance).

Just wanted to share the totals with everyone. It’s insane. I’m very, very lucky she has the means to cover the costs but it shows you that you need to be rich to be old and infirm.